They'll Never Know
by Maddy6645
Summary: When the shells fall and the wounds pour, they both know that she'll always be that little girl who lay in a pool of blood; sobbing in her arch-enemy's arms. He took a piece of them, and neither will ever be the same. Eventual Faberry.
1. Chapter 1

In that moment all of the slushies, the harsh names, the taunting and the bullying were all forgotten as Quinn held the small girl in her arms. A pale hand traced lightly over olive skin and she willed for the girls eyes to open. As if hearing her silent plea, Rachel's eye lids fluttered revealing two pain stricken brown orbs. It was still for a short moment as she regained her senses and the she let out a choked gasp and bucked her shoulder against Quinn's stomach. Quinn ripped her cheerio jacket from her body and pressed it against the wound hard, kicking herself for not trying to stop the bleeding earlier.

"Qu-…Qui-…."  
>"Shhh. Don't speak, Rachel." She swept her legs out under Rachel's raised shoulders to create a pillow of sorts and traced her face with a hand again.<br>"I'm so sorry, Berry. I'm so-" She stopped so she wouldn't break down and scare the already terrified girl, but her shoulders still shook violently with silent sobs. Rachel reached out a hand and placed it on the cheerio's arm as if to comfort her. A single, silent tear slipped down her cheek as she closed her eyes once more.  
>"Berry! Rachel! Wake up!" Quinn shook her uninjured shoulder slightly and slapped gently against her face. "You need to stay awake. You need to stay with me! Don't-" Her stomach flipped and she whispered lightly; "Don't leave me."<br>Rachel's eyes fluttered open once more and Quinn's heart broke at the sight of the poor girl.  
>"Quinn?" Her voice was husky and broken. "I for-… I forgive you. For everything, I forgive you."<br>"Don't Rachel; I don't deserve any of your forgiveness. When you wake up in the hospital, we'll talk about this all properly. I can truly apologize and you can decide then, right now you're not thinking straight. You're in pain. You-"  
>"Just tell me that I'll be okay. Please, Quinn." Her eyes welled up again.<br>"You're gonna be so okay Rachel. Great. In fact you'll be awesome." A sad smile graced both of their faces.  
>"I already am awesome Quinn, you just never noticed."<p>

Shouting came from down the hall and three paramedics and two police officers came running towards them. Quinn gently laid Rachel down for them, but held her hand despite a paramedic trying to pull her away to check on her. An officer gently pried her hand away from Rachel and tugged her into his arms. It was Mr. Jones, Mercedes father, and she wept openly in his arms as a medic waited. He convinced her to get seen to and she watched numbly as they cut open Rachel's sweater to get to her shoulder. The monitor connected to Rachel's finger lost its regular rhythm and fluttered, almost a straight line. The medics frantically tore at a bag to get a defibrillator. A wracking cry sounded through out the hall and Quinn realized that the screams were coming from her, calling for Rachel.

The medics calmly spoke to one another as they applied grey patches to Rachel's chest and placed the paddles against her.  
>"CLEAR!" Her torso pumped upwards into the air and collapsed limply against the dirty hallway floor.<br>"CLEAR!" And again.  
>"CLEAR" And again.<br>"CLEAR" The regular beeping of the monitor sounded in the hall and Quinn collapsed to a seated position, her throat sore from screaming for her arch-enemy. The medics strapped an oxygen mask onto her face and continued prepping her for transport.  
>They lifted her onto the gurney and covered her nearly half naked body. Quinn and Mr. Jones trailed after. He hid her face in his jacket when they left the school from the hundreds of scared and curious eyes until he got her into the ambulance. He stopped for a moment and held her hand. They locked eyes and he gave her a sharp nod.<br>"I'm following behind. I should get there soon after you, but you wait for me there. You hear?" She nodded slowly.  
>He let go and shut the doors behind him as he left.<br>His daughter ran up to him in a frenzy.  
>"What happened? Was it Quinn? Rachel? How are they? Are they hurt? Dad!" He just silently wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her to his car. She asked no more questions as they drove to the hospital.<p>

* * *

><p>Quinn buckled into a chair in the waiting room of the hospital, not caring that her once pristine cheerio uniform was permanently stained with the blood of the girl she was supposed to hate. She went to raise her hands to cover her face until she saw the dull reddy brown that coated them too. She just sat in a still silence staring at her hands.<br>A nurse came over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
>"One of those medics that came in asked if I could help get you cleaned up. Do wanna come and change into something else?" Quinn looked up and met the kind nurse's eyes. They looked just like her mother's, and she wished for a moment that she could curl up in her mother's arms as she had when she was younger. When she had a nightmare she would go into her bed without question and curl into her side as the woman stroked her child's hair. Maybe this is just a nightmare. Maybe she could wake up and slip through the darkness to her mother's welcoming embrace.<br>She just nodded at the nurse and she was led to the bathrooms. She gave Quinn a soft smile as she handed her a pair of sweats, but it faded when she saw the broken girl's face. She turned on the tap for her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder, pulling Quinn from her thoughts.  
>"You clean up and get changed in one of those stalls." Quinn followed her pointed finger to the bathroom stalls behind her. "I'll be sitting right outside to wait for you, and then we can go see how your friend is doing. Okay?"<br>Is that what Rachel was to Quinn now? She had taunted and humiliated the girl for years, and she was now her friend?  
>Quinn nodded at the woman and placed the sweats on a ledge in front of the mirror. The hot water felt cold on Quinn's skin even as her hands turned red from the temperature. The water swirled around the porcelain, colored with Rachel. Once it was all off, Quinn scrubbed at her hands with soap from the pump beside the sink, but she still felt the blood coating her. She eventually gave up knowing that she would feel that blood there for as long as she would ever live and got changed.<br>She laid out her soiled uniform and then rolled it into a tight cylinder.  
>As Quinn left the bathroom she took a look at herself in the slightly grubby mirrors. She no longer saw Quinn Fabray. That girl didn't resemble anyone she once knew.<p>

As promised, the nurse was right outside talking quietly with a doctor. She stopped as soon as she saw the blonde girl and showed a smile. Or more accurately, a pained grimace.  
>Quinn's heart sped as she thought of all of the reason's she would give that look. Rachel is dead. Rachel died for her. The Head Bitch Cheerleader. She had died and it was all Quinn's fault. Rachel would never see Broadway, or sing another gut-wrenching solo ever again. She would never give a long winded rant of which the point could have been made in one simple sentence.<br>"Your friend is in surgery."Quinn held her breath as she waited for the other shoe to drop. "She's lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion, but she's a healthy girl. She has no history of any ailments at all really apart from a broken nose last year, so providing that there aren't any complications in surgery; she should make a full recovery."  
>Quinn's shoulders and head sagged in pure relief at the news.<br>"There are some people in the waiting room for you, honey."  
>"Who?" Her voiced was croaky from earlier and it hurt to speak.<br>" An Officer Jones, a man with curly hair and a load of teenagers."  
>Quinn winced at the thought of explaining everything to them. The nurse took the clothes that Quinn forgot she was holding and placed them in a bag she had ready. She slipped back into her hands and nudged her shoulder slightly to show that she was about to lead her away from the restrooms.<br>Before they reached the crowd awaiting them, she stopped and turned to the nurse.  
>"What's your name?" The corners of her mouth twitched slightly before she replied.<br>"Elizabeth Pillsbury. Ellie."  
>"Wait so you're-?"<br>"Emma Pillsbury's sister? Yes, our mother was a great Austen Fan. My brother is named William after Fitzwilliam Darcy." Quinn could tell that she was rambling in a feeble attempt to get her mind off of what happened.  
>"Thank you Ellie. I don't know…." She trailed off and stared at the floor.<br>"Don't mention it, I recognized the uniform and went on instinct. I used to be the nurse at McKinley, so it was second nature." They shared a moment of peace before Quinn turned to walk into the room she wanted to avoid and the chaos that it brought.

Immediately they all clustered around her all shouting questions at once. The only people who didn't talk and stayed seated were Mercedes and her father. Quinn pushed past her fellow club members, took the seat next to her friend and fell into her open arms. She found that she couldn't cry any more and just shook as a hand stroked down her hair gently.  
>The glee club just stared at the girl they knew as confident and infallible break down in front of them. Quinn just let the raw pain and sadness overwhelm her and let it out. Seeing that she wasn't going to speak to any of them, her peers took their seats. Except for Puck. He slowly walked over to Quinn and knelt at her feet. He caught her eye and placed a hand over hers on Mercedes' arm. He turned around and sat on the floor leant against her legs with his hands over his face. Quinn stretched out a hand and ran it through his strip of hair, knowing exactly how the boy felt.<p>

She took a good look at everyone in the room. Apart from Mr Jones, everyone's faces were ridden with guilt. Guilt and shame.  
>After some time, Finn took the spare seat next to her.<br>"Quinn?" He whispered, trying not to disturb the hush that had occurred. He failed. Everyone's ears perked up at what the teens would say. "What happened? How is she?"  
>The sadness that had possessed Quinn suddenly disappeared.<br>"What?"  
>"Rachel, you, what happened?" Anger began to bubble over.<br>"What?" It came out sharp and snappy this time and Finn flinched at the sound.  
>"I was just wond-"<br>"Shut up." Her eyes went cold as Finn met her steely gaze.  
>"But-"<br>"Shut. Up. Right now, Finn."  
>Suddenly Finn's anger matched hers.<br>"Why the hell should I? She was my girlfriend. I loved her. Why the hell can't I ask you about what happened in that hall-"  
>"FINN." Santana shouted at him from across the room. It was a warning, but he didn't care.<br>"I have every right to-"  
>"No, you don't. You have no right to know how that girl is. None of us do. We have no right to even be here waiting for her to be out of surgery and wake up. She doesn't <em>deserve<em> us."  
>"What the-"<br>"You treated her like shit, Hudson. You were embarrassed by a girl you supposedly loved. She wanted to show you how she felt; she wanted to be an actual couple with you and you were an ass."  
>"Quinn, I don't think that this is the right place to-"<br>"No, Mr Schuester, it isn't the right time or place, but you have no right either. You stood by and watched as we all bullied her. You let it happen, and that is no excuse for myself, but you should be just as ashamed as the rest of us."  
>"Quinn, hold on a sec-"<br>"We all were horrible to her. She wanted to belong somewhere, and wanted a family and friends to love her and accept her, but we rejected her constantly. Yes, she was a tad too much sometimes and a diva, but we should all be ashamed of who we've been. The only time we really made an effort to care for her was when she broke her nose, but even then we only wanted her to be able to sing well for Nationals. When we lost because she and Finn kissed, we didn't shout at Finn; no. We all yelled at her. The only people in this room that have some form of exemption from this are Sam and Mike, but that's only because they hardly even talk to her to hurt her."  
>She stopped her rant and dropped her head to Puck's shoulder in front of her. Everyone just stared at her.<br>"Why don't you all see what's in the cafeteria? First one to find food that doesn't look like it'sbeen regurgitated wins." People began to make sharp retort to the Latina, but a harsh glare had even Mr Schuester leaving.  
>"Leave, Frankenteen." Finn trudged out of the room and Santana took his seat. There was just Quinn, Puck, Mercedes, Mr Jones and herself in the room now.<br>"What happened, Q?" Quinn took a deep breath as she recalled the hallway.

* * *

><p>A fire alarm went off as Quinn touched up her make-up in the mirror. She tightened her hair slightly and smoothed her hands over her pleated skirt, flattening invisible wrinkles. The new system had been going haywire for a couple of weeks, and whilst having been fully functional this last week, she still chalked it up to a false alarm. She heard people running and screaming outside the bathroom door and smirked at what she assumed was their stupidity and false panic. She heard a flush as she checked her phone and looked up to see Rachel Berry coming out of the end stall. Her jaw clenched in distaste as she greeted her with an insult. Rachel just walked to the sink dejectedly.<br>"Hello Quinn."She muttered as she washed her hands.  
>They both left at the same time but stopped the moment they saw the hallway. Papers were scattered everywhere, lockers had been left open and even bags and various other personal items were on the floor.<br>"Something's not right." Rachel whispered.  
>"No shit, Sherlock."<br>Rachel's lips formed a thin line as she held back a snappy retort for the blonde. They heard footsteps; loud and heavy, and they both scrabbled to get back into the bathroom. As the door swung shut both took slow steps to the other side of the room. Their heartbeats, deafening in their ears, sped up as they heard the footsteps come closer to the door. They passed and Quinn went to the door quietly.  
>"Quinn!"Rachel whisper shouted, "Don't!"<br>Quinn pressed an ear to the door and Rachel came up behind her.  
>"I think they're gone."<br>They stood for a moment and caught their breath.  
>The door swung open suddenly and a hand grabbed Quinn's uniform and dragged her out. As she was torn from the room she grabbed Rachel's hand and took her with her.<p>

They were both thrown to the ground as they looked at the barrel of a gun.


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N In my haste to post the last chapter, I completely forgot about a wee note. I know that people may think that this is a copy of One Tree Hill, and whilst that story line was amazing, this isn't it.  
>This is a story about a girl willingly offering herself up to fate for another human being and being so selfless for a selfish person.<strong>

**Summary:** It's been 8 years, and she'd like to say that she'd grown and gotten over it, but she's still that little girl who lay in a pool of blood; sobbing in her arch-enemy's arms. He took a piece of them, and neither will ever be the same.

**So, here's part 2. Updates probably won't always be this quick, but I'm on a roll today. Also, having nearly 3 months off of school won't hurt the update process.  
>Also, need I really say it, I don't own Glee. I may wish and dream, but I don't. If I did there'd be Faberry, Brittana and a whole song for Tina instead of cutting her off.)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Previously:<strong> _Quinn pressed an ear to the door and Rachel came up behind her.  
>"I think they're gone."<br>They stood for a moment and caught their breath.  
>The door swung open suddenly and a hand grabbed Quinn's uniform and dragged her out. As she was torn from the room she grabbed Rachel's hand and took her with her. They were both thrown to the ground as they looked at the barrel of a gun.<em>

"Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit." Rachel Berry was too terrified to even admonish Quinn for her language.  
>He stood before them, towering over their shaking frames. The gun in his hand trembled slightly.<p>

"Dave…" Rachel whispered, as if a loud noise would startle him.

"Shut up, man-hands." The girls' hands were still clasped together and Quinn felt her tense at the words. He waved his gun in the air as a gesture for them to get up. They both quickly scrabbled to their feet, hands still clutched tightly together.

They stood exactly next to each other. Equals for once in their entire high school life. Equal in the presence of death.

"What's wrong Quinn? Scared?" The boy jeered at them. "You fucking should be. You're such a bitch to everyone so they don't see the scared little girl you are." She gulped audibly.

"You disgust me with your high and mighty attitude. Everyone else may have forgotten," He waved his gun around the deserted hallway and yelled to the space "But I remember! I remember the whore you are." Rachel felt Quinn's fingernails dig into the back of her hand, and she rubbed a thumb soothingly over her index finger. "You and your bastard child! How can they forgive you?"  
>He took a few steps closer to them.<p>

"How can they forgive you? Your religion says that you're an abomination. You're going to hell. How can your religion tell me that, hmm? How do they know who's going to hell, HUH?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Karofsky."

"Am I going to hell, whore?"

Quinn shook her head frantically. "No, Dave. You're not going to hell, I am."

"No, that's where you're wrong, Fabray." His voice softened slightly. "My father told me I'm going to hell. Along with the adulterers, the killers and the fags."

"You won't go to hell, Dave. You walk out of here and hand over your gun, you won't go to hell."

Dave rushed towards her and pressed the metal against the blonde's forehead, hard. She took a step back under the force.

"Don't tell me what to do, you whore. I'm going to hell. So are you."

"Why? Why would you go to hell, Dave?" Rachel spoke finally.

"Because I'm one of them." A realization dawned over his face and he moved his hand from Quinn's head to Rachel's. "It was you. Your fathers infected us." He spat out the words as if they would burn in his mouth. "You're disgusting faggot fathers infected this town. Hell, I bet you're one of them."  
>Rachel whimpered slightly under the pressure on her forehead. "You scum infected me, and now you'll pay."<p>

"Dave, don't." Quinn whispered. "Please. You can walk out right now and no-one will hurt you. You won't go to hell. God is all forgiving and loves us all unconditionally. God loves you, Dave." Karofsky took steps back at her words and Rachel sighed in relief at the distance. The gun dropped to his side.

"I just want this to end. I don't want any of this anymore. This… disease." He began to raise the gun to his head.

"NO!" Quinn screamed at him and raised her hand. Rachel held her back, fear written clearly in her eyes. "It doesn't matter who you love! God loves gay people too!" The three stood motionless.

"What did you call me?" His lip curled. "Did you just call me… You disgust me you slut. You and your bastard child are going straight to hell where you'll burn." He raised his gun at them as the red mist descended over him. Rachel chanced a look at Quinn. She clenched her eyes shut and tensed for the oncoming pain.

There was a loud bang and a thud heard through the black behind Quinn's eyelids. She waited for the pain but it didn't come. Karofsky stood before, shock painted over his face. He dropped the gun and ran. She went to turn to Rachel beside her, but she was gone.

* * *

><p>"She… she took a step in front of me and saved me. She was just lying there at my feet. I thought she was already gone. I just held her until she opened her eyes again and now…"<br>She burst into a new round of tears as her friends held her.  
>"She needs to be okay. She's needs to survive this so she knows that there are people who care about her."<br>No-one said anything and Mr Jones just jotted the final moments in his notepad.

"What do you mean, Quinn? No offense, but you never cared. None of us did. We can start, but that won't take back all of the things we've done. All we've said."

"I care. We stood in that hallway together. We stood _together_." She spluttered between wracking sobs, "Not as enemies, as two human beings scared for their lives. _I. Care_."

The rest of the Glee club traipsed in and took their previously occupied seats, not looking at Quinn. Sam walked over and silently handed her a pack of Twizzlers. She smiled graciously and nibbled at the end of one. Santana took a can of Coke from him and sucked the soda through the liquorice.  
>They all sat and ate what they had acquired from the vending machines around the hospital. Quinn felt herself dropping off to sleep, but every time her eyes fluttered closed she snapped them open. She <em>would<em> be awake when Rachel got out. She _had_ to be.

Another reason to keep awake was the images that played behind her eyelids. Each slushie. Each name. Each drawing in the girls' bathroom. When she had hit her. When she had tried to sabotage her solos. It was on some kind of slideshow, shaming the blonde. A thought suddenly occurred.

"Mr Jones? What'll happen to…" It took a moment for her to be able to say his name, and when she did it felt vile in her mouth, "Karofsky?"

Mr Jones wrung his hands in his lap and stared at the floor.

"We saw a boy running out of the school, and he was shouting that the shooter was still in there. He…he got lost in the crowd. When we got to you and you were calling for Ms Berry, you yelled his name, and a few choice words about him. I put an APB out on him the moment I got to my car. The police went to his house but…" He shook his headache raised it to meet her eyes. "The boy hung himself. The parents didn't even know. They saw him get home and he went straight to his room, not a word to either of them. I found him in his cupboard."

"He what?" Quinn's voice was so quiet she couldn't really hear it herself; it was also muffled from the blood rushing through her ears.  
>"He… He…" She stood to her feet as she got louder. "He… He… Fuck!" Her hands tangled in her hair furiously. Puck jumped up to calm her down, but she shoved him away. "He's not even going to get arrested? Put to trial?" She clenched her hands tightly at her side and her knuckles turned white. "That fucking coward. He shoots at me, and shoots Rachel because of <em>that<em> just to _kill himself?"_  
>Without a second thought her hand struck out and hit the glass of the window, a spider web of cracks radiating from her fist.<p>

"Holy crap, Q!" Santana wrapped her arms around the blonde.

"I swear to God I'll fucking raise him from the dead just to kill him again. I'll do it again and again until he fucking _pays!"_ She writhed and squirmed furiously in Santana's arms until she couldn't hold her any more. Puck took over and held her until she sagged in his embrace and began a new round of tears. She didn't even register the pain in her hand.  
>No-one moved. Puck sat down in a chair and curled her up in his lap. She clutched to his shirt, grasping and unclasping like a small child. She was trying to desperately hold onto her sanity, as if Puck were just that. She slowly fell prey to sleep, but this time the images didn't show. Puck whispered soft, soothing words into her hair as her breath evened out.<p>

"So who saw that coming?" Santana whispered to the room. They all looked at her as she voiced what they were all thinking. _What the hell happened_?

Two men of complete opposites burst into the room to a loud chorus of hushes. They stood there, stunned at the reception from the Glee club. Brittney begged them to not speak in a hushed tone, pointing at Quinn in explanation.  
>They each took a seat both sides of Mr Schuester and complied with the pleas of the teens around them.<p>

Puck looked them both over and recognized the short, white man from Temple. His brown hair was thinning and his bald spot shone under the fluorescent lighting. His eyes flicked nervously to everyone in the room and the large cracks in the window, completely confused. When he met Puck's eyes, they nodded at each other in acknowledgement. His hands rubbed nervously at his slacks and he swallowed every few seconds. The argyle sweater vest he wore rubbed against his polyester shirt noisily in the quiet room. The slight scratching was almost like a fog horn, and along with Rachel's other father's scratching of his skin, it made a symphony of pure annoyance. Rachel's other father was a tall, lumbering black man with a set eyes that Puck knew would match his daughters. There were light wrinkles around them, and slight dimples in his cheeks, making him warm and welcoming. He remembered Rachel speaking fondly of them both, love radiating from every word she spoke. They were the only ones who truly accepted Rachel for who she was and encouraged them. Puck stood; Quinn easily tucked in his arms, and strode over to the shorter man.

"Noah."

"Hello Mr Berry."

He sat next to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, careful not to wake his friend. At his comfort, tears streamed silently down the man's cheeks. Mr Jones got up and opened his notebook to the right page before handing it to the man. As he read, Mr Schue swapped places with his husband so he could see it as well.  
>They finished reading and handed the notepad back. The taller man took his husband in his arms and let him cry on his shoulder.<p>

The door swung open and a doctor walked in, surprised at the number of people waiting. He quickly got over his shock and asked for the fathers. The three of them stepped outside of the room as the group watched through the window that wasn't cracked. The fathers were faced away from them, and at the doctors words; the two men burst into tears. They eventually stopped, and they nodded at what he was saying. Everyone held their breath as the doctor placed a hand on the Jewish mans arm and the two men walked back into the room.

"They said she lost a lot of blood, so they did a transfusion. The bullet hit the edge of her shoulder blade, but thankfully didn't puncture it. It'll be a long road to full recovery, about 6 months or so, and they're keeping her in for a couple of weeks to minimize the risk of infection. It seemed like God was on her side." Puck flinched slightly at his words and thought of Karofsky.

"She's in the ICU; she'll be there all week. But she's…" The tears came again, "She's okay."  
>A collective sigh of relief swept over the room, but everyone held their breath when Quinn began to stir. She wriggled in Puck's arms, but stayed asleep.<p>

"When can we see her?"

"Visiting hours start at 9:00am. There's not much point attempting until then, it'll be a while before she wakes up."

And there it was. What do they all do next? The entire clubs thought went from; _What happened?_ to_ What now?_  
>Mr Berry sensed the shift and helped them out.<p>

"You guys should head home, we'll keep you all updated." With that they trickled out, all wishing the two men the best. Puck stayed in his seat and Santana moved next to him. Brittney pressed a kiss to the Latina's cheek, knowing what she would do.

"Tell Rachel not to that ever again when she wakes up, okay San?" Santana smiled.

"I think that was gonna be Quinn's line, but I'll mention it." The cheerio left with the promise of fresh clothes and supplies at 8:30 sharp.

"You don't need to stay, Noah. Or you Santana."

"Mr Berry-"

"Leroy and Hiram, please."

"Leroy," he craned his neck to look at the tall man, "Quinn won't want to leave, and Santana wouldn't leave Quinn. As for me? I'm not leaving my hot Jewish princess here alone." The three men smiled and Quinn shifted again in his arms, muttering Rachel's name.

**(I hope that the shooting scene was alright, it took a while to write. I just couldn't get into that kind of state of mind. I suppose that's a good thing though.**

**I'm looking for a beta if anyone's interested. It would be very much appreciated, as big a nerd about spelling and grammar as I am, I make a lot of mistakes. As well as possible continuity errors.**

**Review button's down there, just a suggestion ;P )**


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/n Thank you very much to Cassicio for Beta-ing this chapter for me. I hope the amendments all worked out well and make sense.**

**Previously: **_"Mr Berry-"  
>"Leroy and Hiram, please."<br>"Leroy," he craned his neck to look at the tall man, "Quinn won't want to leave, and Santana wouldn't leave Quinn. As for me? I'm not leaving my hot Jewish princess here alone." The three men smiled and Quinn shifted again in his arms, muttering Rachel's name._

**Insert usual disclaimer here: _)**

* * *

><p>Puck slowly awoke from his slumber and groggily rubbed at his eyes, ridding them from sleep. He looked around him and tried to grasp his bearings. It all came rushing back to him and he jumped up in his seat. Where was Quinn? How was Rachel? Where was everyone else?<br>His calloused hands rubbed over his partly shaven head and linked at the back of his Mohawk. Taking a deep breath, he stretched slightly before kneeling in front of his friend.

"San?" The girl muttered slightly in her sleep, but didn't wake. He reached out an arm and shook her lightly until her eyes fluttered open. "I'm gonna go look for Quinn, okay?"She nodded blearily and closed her eyes again.

With another stretch, he left the waiting room. The hospital was abuzz with doctors and nurses. He walked across to the nurses' station and waited for a while, hoping someone could help him; but no-one came. Taking matters into his own hands he began to walk down the halls blindly following different color lines on the floor hoping one would lead him to Rachel. Eventually a purple line led him to double doors bearing the letters: ICU. He slipped through them and continued his search, checking every room and congregation of beds.  
>Eventually, near the end of the hall, he spied a familiar brunette and a blonde slumped in a chair. Puck stood at the door for a while and took in the scene. Quinn was facing away from him with her feet on her chair, knees pressed to her chest, and her arms wrapped around them. He heard her voice, soft and low, singing to the girl.<br>A rhythmic beeping was the only other sound in the room. Its beat matched the one of Puck's heart. Possibly annoying to anyone else, he welcomed it as a reminder that the almost still girl in front of him was, in fact, alive. That, and the steady rise and fall of her chest was comforting.  
>He took another step into the room to hear Quinn's voice. She was spouting what, at first, seemed like nonsense, but he soon remembered the song. He remembered receiving the sheet music and groaning loudly, but Rachel had jumped up and down in her seat in sheer excitement. Quinn obviously recalled this too. Its repetitive lyrics were soothing and pacifying.<p>

_"Fahoo fores, dahoo dores  
>Welcome all who's far and near<br>Welcome Christmas, fahoo ramus  
>Welcome Christmas, dahoo damus"<em>

"It's July you know." Puck whispered, alerting her to his presence. She chuckled.

"If we were in Australia it would be Christmas, that's good enough for me."

"Actually it would just be winter, Christmas is still the 25th, babe." He smiled; glad that he could pull one on her too.

He took a seat in a chair on the other side of the bed and looked at Quinn. Bags had begun to form under her eyes and the stress was visible in her overall demeanor. Her shoulders sagged with the weight of the world and her cheeks had gone pale.

"Besides the crap from the vending machines, have you eaten yet?"

"Brittney was supposed to stop by with some stuff, but she texted me to say that she'll be a bit late. It's been three hours since she was supposed to arrive; I gave up hope one and a half in."

"So that's a no then." Her silence confirmed it for him. "There's no need for you to get sick too, Quinn."

"She's not _sick_, she got _shot_." She seethed. "There is a sharp difference, Puckerman."

Holding up his hands in surrender, he apologized. With a flourish of his fingers he typed out a text and set his phone on the table beside the bed.  
>Rachel looked so pale and lifeless. His heart clenched at the thought of what could have happened.<br>Fury rose in him again at the thought of recent events. He thought for a moment about hunting Karofsky down, but then remembered the boy's suicide and it only added fuel to the fire. His eyes welled up in anger. Where the hell was the justice? God? Karma? Anything? Puck knew, however, that if those things had acted in that moment then his baby mama would be the one in the hospital bed with tubes leading out of her and machines monitoring her every bodily function. Neither option was better.  
>He felt so helpless. There was nothing he could do for either woman and he hated it. He loved both girls, in different ways sure, but it was love nonetheless. He had shared something incredible with Quinn, something that would tether them together for eternity now. But Rachel, Rachel had seen not Puck, but Noah. She had seen that his persona was not him, but a different entity entirely. Their love was platonic, but the strongest he'd known. And now she was here, on the brink of life and death and that helplessness was washing over him. Taunting him.<p>

The only thing he could do was comfort Quinn and pray for Rachel.

So he continued the song.

_"Christmas day will always be  
>Just so long as we have glee<br>Fahoo fores dahoo dores  
>Welcome Christmas bring your light"<em>

Quinn hummed the next few lines as she rested her temple on the edge of the bed beside Rachel's hand.

* * *

><p>Santana sat in Brittney's embrace in Rachel's room. Puck had forced Quinn to accompany him to the cafeteria with the promise of any updates by text. Santana's heart crumpled at the sight of Rachel. Her hand immediately shot out to grasp her friend's and her throat clenched in unshed tears. She simply leant against the wall and slid down it until she hit the floor. Brittney joined her and pulled her into her arms.<p>

She knew that Quinn was right, she had no right to be upset or worried for the midget, but she couldn't help herself. Ever since Rachel had told her that she believed that Santana hadn't leaked the set-list she hadn't hated her as much. When she had spat back a bitchy retort about her future, she had grown a bit of respect for her. When she had belted out every heart breaking solo since, she had grown more. She didn't necessarily like the girl, but she didn't hate her anymore. Glee was a family, and they'd never treated her as such. That was why she cried for her.

Brittney reached out a hand and wiped away the stream of water that had streaked down her cheeks.

"Yesterday I was Santana Lopez. HBIC from Lima Heights. How is it that now I don't know who I am anymore?" Her eyes pleaded with Brittney's to give her the answers she desperately sought. Brittney shook her head slightly from side to side.

"We never knew, S. But she did. She does." She pointed to the bed. "That's why you all bullied her; she had what you didn't. Maybe you have that now. Maybe you'll know now because you've seen who you don't want to be. Who you've been." Santana's throat clenched again.

"When did you get so smart?" Her mouth twitched into a slight resemblance of a smile and they both looked at the bed. It loomed over their seats on the floor, threatening and intimidating.

"What do you think happens when you die, San?" Santana debated her answer.

"Religion says heaven and hell. Some people say nothing, you're worm-food. Some say that you are given another life, but don't remember the last. I don't know," She spoke the last bit under her breath: "but I'm scared to find out."

Brittney nodded and dropped her head to her shoulder.

"Rachel's heaven would be Broadway."

"And Barbra Streisand."

"And lots of applause, she needs that."

"And ugly animal sweaters. It'd be law."

"Ooh, and awards. She'd have an entire building for her awards." Santana laughed at Brittney's image.

"But we don't need to worry about that, Berry's gonna be fine."

"Promise?" Brittney held out a pinky finger to Santana with pure seriousness written over her face.

Santana hooked her pinky finger. "I promise, B."

They sat there for awhile until Puck and Quinn came in. They stood, shocked, in the doorway at the sight they saw.

"Don't say anything, Tubbers." Quinn just smiled and took her seat beside Rachel.

Quinn hadn't actually touched Rachel at all as she had sat with her. She ached to hold her hand and rub soothing circles like she had in the hallway, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.  
>The chair that she had set up vigil in was incredibly uncomfortable, but she couldn't be bothered to care about the pain in her back. Her hazel eyes flickered over the tanned skin of her face in frustration.<br>Quinn had never been the patient type. She desperately wanted to shake the girl awake and beg her to help sort out the mess that was building in her head. Beg her to explain how she could have done this.

It had been hours since she had gotten out from surgery. Ellie had come around to check up on her and assured her that she'd wake up in her own time. She'd gone through a lot and she needed to repair. Quinn folded her arms on the bed and rested her forehead upon them. Then she did what she had done in the hallway.

She willed for the girl to open her eyes. To tell her that she was okay. She didn't care if she said that she hated Quinn for what happened or told her again that she forgives her. She wanted to hear that voice again. Hear her go on her long rants about set lists or appropriate attire for performances.

She wanted Rachel.

* * *

><p>They all trudged into the choir room in silence. They were all aware that Puck and the three cheerleaders had taken the day off and it made the Glee club thin. Silence spread amongst them and it became increasingly uncomfortable. They had all been called out. Every single one of them had been shamed, but the worst part was that it was all true.<p>

Mr. Schuester walked in and placed his briefcase on the piano. He turned to the congregation of students and sighed.

"It's been a rough week, that's for sure." He scratched at his chin thoughtfully. "I would suggest singing happy songs to cheer you up, make you see on the bright side of things, but I'm not sure I'm up for it."

Kurt scoffed at the teacher.

"Kurt?"

Kurt lifted his head from his chest and stared dead into Mr. Schuester's eyes. His jaw clenched at the man, furious at his words.

"You don't deserve Glee club. Why don't you go have Ms Pillsbury comfort you Mr. Schue, because you're not gonna get it from me." With a swish of his embroidered jacket he stormed off from his seat to the door. It was silent once more.

"Go home guys. We'll talk about doing a number tomorrow or something, I'm gonna head to the Hospital."

They all filtered out again, not a word said between them. Will let out a ragged breath. He'd let them down. He'd used them all for his own personal gain so many times. To regain his youth, to get one over on Sue, to get one over on Carl, to seduce Emma and not to mention begin a relationship with Holly. He'd been selfish, and that was going to stop. He hadn't even done all of his lessons correctly. A word on the board, then a brief explanation before telling them to sing. Sure, some lessons were better like that, but it wasn't teaching properly. He turned to the board and uncapped his pen. It squeaked as it flew across the plastic and the noise echoed in the empty choir room. Lyrics from songs he had loved, ones he had hated and ones that made sense covered the whiteboard. He went into his Spanish classroom and grabbed the standing board he used for presentations and carried it back. He covered that too.

This was hopefully going to be the best lesson he had taught. It wouldn't include singing, but only songs. He would use them to get to know the students properly, and let them all realize how little they knew each other. And possibly themselves.

**( A/n Chapter 4 is under way, but I'm going away for a few days so it probably won't be up until next Monday.**

**Maybe Rachel will wake up next chapter… or maybe I'll string you along for a while longer, who knows? **

**Thanks for reading, reviews would be appreciated. :) )**


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/n So I figure that my updates will be each Monday if my muse is kind to me, just to let you all know.**

**Hopefully the lesson is alright. I may have possibly written the last chapter half asleep so I forgot what it was supposed to be.**

**Thanks you for all of your wonderful reviews, any and all comments help so much.**

**And especially thanks to Caitlin for Beta-ing :)**

**Previously: **_This was hopefully going to be the best lesson he had taught. It wouldn't include singing, but only songs. He would use them to get to know the students properly, and let them all realize how little they knew each other. And possibly themselves._**)**

* * *

><p>"What means something important to you?" Will looked at the group in front of him. "Objects? Football? People? Family? School? Your friends?" They all looked at him as if he had two heads. He sighed dejectedly.<p>

"Artie, give me a song lyric."

"What? I don't-"

"First song lyric on your mind right now, c'mon."

"_Pretty little face with the Oakland booty_?"

"Finn?"

"_I don't need to fight to prove I'm right._"

Tina?"

"Umm, '_C'mon skinny love, just last the year'._"

"Good, now each of you tell me why you told me that lyric."

Tumbleweeds could have rolled through with the silence that followed. Mr. Schuester rubbed his palms over his eyes furiously, trying to rid himself of his frustration.

"The first lyrics in my head right now are; _'This is a bittersweet symphony, this life.'_ I know why I thought of that; because that song was _huge_ in the late nineties and I had it on repeat for an entire week before my room-mate in college threatened my life. Death by compact disc was not the way I wanted to go." He chuckled. "My point is that there is a reason that that song stuck with me, why the lyrics mean so much."

"When I was young my Mom told me that Baba O'Reilly was one of my Dad's favourite songs. He had it on vinyl and I used to play it on the record player in the basement until I wore the needle down. Then we just replaced it and I used it until I broke the entire thing." Finn smiled sadly at the memory. "Mom said that when they talked about kids he would say that I was gonna be the next Keith Moon."

Everyone looked at Finn. It was unusual for him to discuss his father and Will smiled at him, maybe this was his breakthrough to the students.

"Perfect, Finn. Anyone else?"

"Skinny Love is heart-breaking yet beautiful. Bon Iver wrote a whole album for a girl that broke up with him. He loved her so much that he poured his soul into these songs. I suppose they stuck with me so much because I want a love like that. It's just so… breath-taking." Mike gave her a slightly troubled look and took her hand in his. He traced a thumb over the back of her hand and gave her a look that clearly said; _"You know that I love you, right?"_  
>She nodded her head slightly and leant over to brush her lips against his cheek earning a smile and a slight blush.<p>

Not acknowledging the couple, Mr. Schuester carried on; "Artie?"

"It's just an awesome song, Mr. Schue. Simple as."

"But why did you immediately think of it?"

Artie was dumbfounded. "Because I like big butts and I cannot lie?"

Will laughed and walked over to the board. "At least you're honest."

He had covered his work from the previous night in large sheets of paper. After the standing board he had gone to every single class room and left a note for the presiding teacher before taking theirs too. They were scattered in a loose circle and one by one he removed the covers. Black words melded into blue and then red as the pens had run out in his vigorous writing.

"Holy shit, Mr. Schue."

"Language, Lauren. Now there are 120 lines of song lyrics here over 15 separate boards. 120 different songs with 120 different reasons as to why I remember them." Walking over to the first board, he pointed at a line. "_There may come a time, when you just can't seem to find your place. For every door to open, it seems like you get two slammed in your face._ I heard this after a horrendous week at work and it made me feel that little bit better." He walked to the next and did the same. "'_She's got a little bit of something, and, God, it's better than nothing'_ One of the multiple times I got into an argument with my ex-wife and when I stormed out, I started the car and the radio switched on. This was playing. I listened, then walked back in and we worked it out. I proposed the next week. '_And the songbirds keep singing, like they know the song._ You guys know how much I love that album."

He went to each board and pointed out a lyric and explained. They varied from really personal to a day where everything went well to a 'soundtrack of my life' moment. Artie, Finn, Tina, Mike, Lauren, Mercedes and Kurt just stared at him in awe.

"Now, you may want to know more about the point of this lesson. Here," He gave a stack of notebooks to Mercedes "everyone take a pad and grab a pen." They all did as he asked and stared expectantly.

"It's almost the end of the period, so this is now homework. I want that entire pad filled with lyrics. That's 50 pages of music. It could be a single line, or a passage, but every one of them should include a short explanation of why they're important to you." Finn began to open his mouth to dispute the assignment, but Mr. Schue was quicker, "This is an important assignment. In light of recent events I have realized that I have been lacking in my duties as an educator. It is my job to help guide you through this stage of your life and teach you what you need to know for the next, but I don't even know you. I know the rumors that spread around, I know the major events, I know your grades, but I don't know you. Music says the words that we cannot therefore it says so much more about us than we could ever tell."

The bell's shrill ring sounded and they all thrust the note-pads into their bags. As assignments went, it wasn't so bad, but writing 50 pages worth was going to take them forever. Finn supposed that if he wrote a song per page then it might be quicker, but he'd have to write a big passage and an even bigger explanation.

"Hey, Mr. Schue, when's this due?"

"End of next week. You have 10 days to complete it, so get busy."

* * *

><p>Quinn's eyes burned as she fought against her own will to keep them open. Her head began to nod and her vision of a slumbering Rachel began to darken. It was past visiting hours, but Liz had managed to convince the other employees that she should stay. In an attempt to keep herself awake, she began to whisper words to the brunette. She sang whatever came into her head next and soon they fused into one long song. She kept it up until Santana told her to shut up in the early hours of the morning. She was curled up in a chair that she had stolen from the next room, "She's in a freakin' coma, she's not exactly using it is she?", and Puck was in another. He too had tried to stay awake for a while but he was obviously less strong willed than the Cheerio.<p>

With much reluctance, Quinn had stopped and kept herself busy by tracing circles on the sheet beside Rachel's fingers. The circles were hypnotic though, and her thoughts began to stir in her mind. Thoughts that she had spent the two days trying to smother.

The empty slushie cup clattered into the bin and laughter sounded in the halls. It was the first week of school and in an attempt to become in the running for Cheerios she had adopted the ritual of a slushie facial for the outcasts. Since it was too early to be able to locate the outcasts, she had created one of her own.

A short, brunette girl stood at a wall of lockers with her pink trolley bag at her feet. Books were stuffed under one arm as she fumbled with her combination. She muttered under her breath at the contraption and slapped her hand against the cool metal before starting again. In a sea of dark clothing her bright yellow sweater, black skirt and white knee high socks stood out like a flare at midnight. The white horse emblazoned on the sweater heaved as the girl let out a deep sigh and let the lock drop back; still locked. The paper in her hand was unscrolled again and she furrowed her brow. Quinn took her first steps. Her flats were silent on the linoleum; the only sound she heard was her thumping heart. In a flash of conscience, she had second thoughts. This was horrible, surely? Then images of her older sister, Jayde, in her pristine Cheerio uniform, in a prom tiara and in a valedictorian gown showed in her head. She was not going to be in her shadow.

The girl's head lifted as she saw Quinn approach in the corner of her eye. Her face lit up and she held out a hand.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Be-" Ice cold slushie hit her at full force with a slapping sound and red ice slid down her face and stained the yellow of her sweater. She could do nothing but gasp at the sudden force of temperature on her face, the scream that she wanted to sound was stuck in her throat. She opened her eyes, the drink stuck to her eyelashes somewhat, and Quinn felt it again. Her conscience. It sounded warning sirens as the brown eyes were coated in shock, pain and a deep sadness. She covered her face and ran to the nearest bathroom. Another girl from an older year saw the whole scene and followed Rachel with a bag she had grabbed from her own locker.

Feeling slightly empty of emotion, Quinn began a walk to the nearest bin. Some Cheerios were clustered in the hall so she plastered on a smirk when she wanted to cry. She gave them a wink as she sauntered on by, her hand clutched onto her bag strap until her fingers hurt.

"That was so awesome, Q." Santana slowed the speed she had gathered in her effort to catch up to the blonde. "Did you see her face," She bellowed a laugh "dios mÍo, if I had a camera."

Quinn showed a smirk again, it was quickly becoming her mask.

"You'll catch it next time."

A sharp sob let out in the room and the other two shuffled in their sleep. Tears streamed freely and Quinn covered her face in disgrace. She remembered how for the rest of that week, hell, the rest of that year; it was a facial a day. She also remembered how every time she had done so, she had seen those beautiful brown eyes, even if Rachel hadn't looked at her. Quinn had known that had they have opened they would echo the ones from the first time. The feeling from seeing those eyes cut through her like a knife and she whimpered into the bed spread, her head having fallen against the mattress as her hands remained on her face.

"I'm so… God, I'm so sorry Rachel. I was a fucking coward, and you got the brunt of it. I've spent so long hating you, but I never did. I hate myself. Fuck, I hate myself so goddamn much." She stopped and sniffled. Fingers ran through her blonde tresses lightly and Quinn instinctively became quiet at the soothing motion.

"That's odd, because I kind of like you." A voice rasped into the darkness. A melodic, angel-like voice rasped out. Though, she could have said it in a deep voice ruined by cigarettes and Quinn would have thought it was angel-like.

It would be angel-like because it was her.

She was awake.

* * *

><p>(<strong>An Was it what you wished? **

**Give me some reviews maybe? **

**Just a wee hint :)**

**Thanks for reading!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/n Voila :) Thanks again for all of your comments and reviews.  
>One actually gave me this fantastic idea about one of the characters that was a non character… if that makes sense.<strong>

**Thanks again to Caitlin.**

**I don't own Glee etc. etc.**

**Previously: **_"That's odd, because I kind of like you." A voice rasped into the darkness. A melodic, angel-like voice rasped out. Though, she could have said it in a deep voice ruined by cigarettes and Quinn would have thought it was angel-like._

_It would be angel-like because it was her._

_She was awake._**)**

* * *

><p>Her lids were droopy over ochre eyes that moved around the room sluggishly. Her hand still lay in Quinn's hair because the girl hadn't moved since she had spoken. She kept completely still, trying to convince herself that she wasn't dreaming. In a slow, decisive move, she raised her head. Rachel's hand fell limply to her stomach but it didn't stay there. Quinn tentatively reached out a hand and took hers. The tears started again, but in relief this time.<p>

Her lips moved slightly and Quinn could make out a fraction of a sound.

"What?"

Rachel's eyes met hers again. "I said; _ow_." She husked out.

Quinn took the hand that she still grasped, held it between two of her own, and pressed it against her forehead. She closed her eyes and thanked God. When she opened her eyes and looked at the small girl in the bed her grin was trying to show so she took her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Hey," Rachel smiled lightly at the excited blonde girl before her.

"I'm so glad you're okay, you've been out for ages. The nurse said that it was fine, and Puck kept saying that you were just waiting for the right time to make a dramatic entrance, but you had me worried there for a while."

"Quinn, slow down. Water, please."

Quinn hurried to fill a cup and held the straw to her lips. Hazel eyes met brown and Rachel dropped the straw from her mouth. She took an audible gulp and a smile settled on her face again. They held each others gaze for a while, holed up in their own bubble. A thousand conversations passed between them in a few minutes in complete silence.

"She lives!" Puck strode briskly to the bed from his makeshift bed and made a move to hug the petite girl before stopping himself. "Ah… well… imagine I'm huggin' you real tight right now, 'kay?" He grinned at her.

Rachel looked away from Puck to meet Quinn's intense stare, it seemed that when Rachel had looked at her other friend; Quinn didn't. Puck sensed the tension and excused himself.

"Well, Brittney'll kill me if I don't tell her you're awake…" He shook Santana and removed her from the room before she had even opened her eyes. Curses boomed in the hallway from the Latina.

"Sure…" The patient whispered, lost in Quinn's gaze.

She reached a trembling hand out and traced around the edge of the white gauze. A tear dripped down to the edge of her nose as her fingers stopped their movement.

"Why?" She thought aloud. "Why would you… how could you…?" Rachel rested her hand on hers to stop her from talking more.

"Because I did."

"That's hardly a reason." Rachel sighed deeply in frustration.

"Do you want some long Freudian answer about how I was never protected from the harshness of the world so I have a hidden need to protect others? You want to delve into my psyche, so be it. But I warn you, it's not all sunshine and rainbows like you'd think."

Quinn was lost for words. She had spent hours debating anything and everything in her head about the situation, and all she got was 3 words? Despite everything, she felt slightly cheated in a way.

"I don't want to… delve into your psyche. I just want a valid explanation."

"I gave you one."

"Can I have more than three words, please?" Frustration was ebbing into her tone and she tried desperately to rein it in.

"Well that's just greedy, Quinn." Quinn was about to snap a retort until she caught the light smile on her face. It suddenly dropped and Quinn's heart did the same.

"What, is it the pain? Should I call a nurse?"

"Did Noah say Brittney? And was that Santana that he man-handled?"

Quinn hesitated. "…yes?"

"Pardon my brashness, but what the hell?" The Cheerio laughed for the first time in what felt like ever. She laughed until her cheeks hurt, and then laughed more at the confused look on Rachel's face. Puck walked back into the room, saw the scene before him, and took a step out to check the name on the placard before walking back in.

"Am I in the Twilight Zone?"

"Near enough to it." Rachel's voice was still slightly croaky from lack of use and before she could even reach out for a cup, Quinn handed it to her with a shaking hand. She had managed to get her giggles under control and was trying to not let them evolve into wracking sobs. The shock over the whole situation was catching up on her quick in one crushing blow. Puck wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her from the room, shooting a meaningful look at Rachel. As he left, Santana walked in and took the blonde's seat. She crossed her legs primly and played with the edge of her skirt seemingly in disinterest.

"Man-hands."

"Slut-tana."

"Think of that by yourself?"

"Just now."

"You need more practice."

"I'm sure by the time I'm out of here; there'll be so many I won't even remember your real name."

Santana lifted her head and Rachel gasped when she saw the tears brimming there. The rest of her face was a poker face, but her eyes were so expressive that Rachel had to look away.

"This is probably the most stupid thing you've ever done, Treasure Trail. That includes that inane crush on Mr Schue."

"I must hasten to disagree, Santana."

"Well don't hasten. You're a freakin' moron."

"Who would've thought, huh? The entire Glee club and the people beside my bed are the jocks."

"I don't think Quinn would let anyone else near."

Rachel shot her a puzzled look and the Latina filled her in.

Rachel just sat in shock as she absorbed the girl's words. Her heart swelled as she was told of how Quinn defended her and dropped slightly when she was told about the window and the sleep-deprivation.

"Of all the people…" Rachel whispered.

"We said the same thing about you and this cluster-fuck." They both smiled at each other and Santana rested her hand on top of hers. She was formulating the words, and Rachel could practically see the cogs whirring in her head.

"Stop thinking so hard, you'll hurt yourself." Santana shot her a wry grin before blurting it all out.

"I'm a bitch. And, yeah, I may never stop, but I will apologize when I go too far. You… you were too far. I keep my bitch status because it means control, but maybe I should lose that control around you… Wait, that came out wrong. I mean-"

"You're sorry, I get it. You're a bitch, I get it. You want to lose control around me, I'm flattered. Be my guest." She winked at her and laughed.

"I meant that I'd drop the bitch status around you a bit."

"What you meant and what you said are two completely separate things." She laughed again and Santana marvelled at the melodious sound. She and Rachel knew that she was only changing because of what happened, but they didn't care about the cause, only the consequence.

"It's never going to be the same again is it?"

Santana solemnly shook her head.

* * *

><p>Will Schuester was nervous. He hadn't been this nervous in a long time, but now his stomach was quivering and his palms were sweating. But he decided to bite the bullet, so to speak, and after swallowing his fear, he walked into the room. He had just left the Berry's in the waiting room, both deflated at the situation, but happy that their star was okay. They had talked with him about her return to school in a few weeks and Will had promised them that he would bring Principal Figgins along with him on his next visit.<p>

He walked into what he didn't know was a common sight. Rachel fast asleep and Quinn curled in a chair singing to her. Fighting the urge to grab a camera, he set down the flowers on the table next to the others and sat across from Quinn.

"Let me guess. I'm sorry for my behaviour in the past. It'll be different now. I'm glad she's okay. Don't know what we'd do with out her. Get well soon?" Quinn shot a glare at her teacher.

"That's about it, yeah." He dropped his head slightly. "I know that I'm not necessarily welcome here right now, but tell her I came by, okay? Tell her that the rest of the club wanted to come too. They're kind of scared of you y'know."

"That's odd, because Puck saw Finn earlier and whilst he said he just didn't want to come; Tina and Mike already stopped by, Mercedes and Artie are in the Cafeteria with San and Brit, Lauren dropped off a big bouquet, and Kurt is stopping by after he talks to Blaine, who is coming with him. They're scared or are you?"

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I really am. I should've stopped everyone from bullying her, but I suppose I thought that if I didn't acknowledge it, it wasn't there."

"That's another lie Mr Schue. You saw Kurt's bullying but not hers. Strike two."

"Quinn. What do you want from me? I'm trying here."

"I want you to leave." Her eyes were cold and unrelenting. Rachel mumbled in her sleep and turned slightly before wincing and turning back. At the sight of her slightly crumpled face Quinn shot out of her seat to cradle it in her palm, the other hand tracing against her forehead. Mr Schuester got up to leave.

"I always thought that you two would make good friends, you just spent too long fighting each other to see it."

Quinn didn't look up as he left.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up with a start and clawed at the sheets. Her strangled gasp broke through the silence and her back bowed as the pain from her dream became reality. Tears slid down her face and dripped onto the bed by her ears. Her toes curled and all her muscles tensed as the pain shot through her. A rigid hand went to grab at her shoulder, but the pain crippled her so much that she didn't get that far, her gown becoming the victim of her frantic grasping.<p>

* * *

><p>Quinn walked slowly down the hospital hallway. She clutched a now empty cup of coffee in her hand on the way back to Rachel's room. Mr Schue was right, she thought. They had spent so long fighting against each other for no reason that they didn't see how similar they were. They were both strong-headed and they fought for what they loved but put it aside for the best interest of others. On the latter however, she had only done that for Beth. Rachel did it for the whole of Glee.<br>How did she not see how wonderful the girl was before that fateful day? She supposed, after a moments thought, that she did know. That was why she took Finn from her and tried to ruin her. She was better than her in almost every way and that terrified her. What also terrified her was how protective she was of her now. She expected the bond from the shooting, but not this. She didn't expect this bond to make her heart swell every time she opened her eyes or laughed. To make her want to hold her in her arms when the pain medication was low. To just want to hold her whenever, really. She wanted to know she was safe and loved all the time. Quinn scoffed at the thought. Loved? Why would she wish that for her? She stopped in the middle of the hallway and focused for a moment. She thought of every way that Rachel had ever annoyed her and of every irritating trait. She tried to remember how to hate her for a moment.

She couldn't.

So she thought of every time that she had liked Rachel. Warmth spread throughout her body.

That was why she couldn't hate her any more; she cared.

Quinn continued down the hallway and came to a stop when, through the darkness, came a muffled cry. Her feet moved fast beneath her and she threw the empty cup from her grasp. She flung herself into the room to see Rachel rolling in bed, pain etched into her face, clutching desperately at the bedding.

She rushed around the other side and frantically pressed the 'Call Nurse' button whilst her other arm pressed against her torso, forcing her back down onto the bed. A woman ran in and upped the medication before putting some notes on her chart. She left without a word, leaving Quinn breathless and confused. The tears began again. That was one thing she wished would stop. She would keep all of the irritating apologies and realisations of her team-mates if she could just stop crying. She hated feeling weak.

Rachel reached out a slightly limp hand and tugged at Quinn's. Quinn allowed herself to be led by the hand over the foot of space between her and the bed. Rachel scooted over and kept tugging.

Quinn carefully slipped next to her and curled against her un-injured side. Rachel's smell and presence gave her a sensory over load and she felt almost intoxicated by it. The day before, whilst she slept, she had smelled like the hospital. Cold, sterile and like antiseptic. Now she smelled warm and a bit like honey. Quinn breathed her in and pressed further into her. An arm wrapped around her shoulders to shift her onto Rachel's shoulder. They both fell asleep quickly, and neither woke.

**(A/n Thanks for reading , now I just have to attempt the next chapter.**

**I would love any reviews and comments, so press the button below?)**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/n Sorry this is bit late, but with exams thoroughly kicking my ass, writing was like drawing blood from a stone.**

**Firstly, in the end of the last chapter when I wrote **_and neither woke _**I meant that they fell into a restless slumber because they were in one another's arms. Sorry for any confusion.**

**The second thing I would like to mention is the wonderful reviews you beautiful people have sent. Even when it's just encouragement that you like the story it gives me that extra oomph to keep writing.**

**Speaking of which, to Whatwordsmiss; thanks for promoting/live blogging me on your tumblr, and I would really love a link to your blog to follow you. I tried PM-ing you, but it wouldn't work.**

**My wonderful beta is much to thank for what I hope is a coherent chapter. I was slightly hesitant about how Rachel and Quinn would react, but I was reassured and here we are.**

**Oh, and Glee isn't mine.**

**So with out any more drabble, once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.**

**Previously: **_Quinn carefully slipped next to her and curled against her un-injured side. Rachel's smell and presence gave her a sensory over load and she felt almost intoxicated by it. The day before, whilst she slept, she had smelled like the hospital. Cold, sterile and like antiseptic. Now she smelled warm and a bit like honey. Quinn breathed her in and pressed further into her. An arm wrapped around her shoulders to shift her onto Rachel's shoulder. They both fell asleep quickly, and neither woke._**)**

* * *

><p>Quinn held strong onto Rachel's hand. Screw school, who needs an education anyway? She just wanted to sit beside her bed until she was fully healed. She didn't want the uncertainty that came with being away from her side. The constant worry. Is she sleeping enough? Is she getting enough fluids? What if her sutures have torn? What if she accidently trades blood with a sick person, gets Hep C and dies? Alright, maybe the latter was a tad on the melodramatic side, but Quinn chalked it up to spending so long with the petite diva. A week ago she would have blanched at the thought of being in any way similar to her, but now a warmth spread through her. Rachel loosely traced circles on the other girl's palm with the pad of her thumb. Quinn's eyes slipped closed at the soothing motion and her head lolled forward slightly as the brunette took the stress from her body in minute touches.<p>

Rachel was talking animatedly with Puck about a Glee assignment as he flicked through page after page of his notebook. He was explaining how he managed to fill a quarter so far, all being Jewish artists of course, and he shocked her with a confession of having a Streisand and a Sondheim number in there.  
>As Quinn was holding her writing hand, and she had yet to master ambidexterity, she began to dictate songs and lyrics to the boy. His hand sped across the paper, hastily trying to catch every word she spoke.<p>

"Ooh, I've got a good one!" Rachel burst out and a sly grin graced her face as she began to sing. "_There's a moment you know,_" Puck hunched over the pad, scribbling, "_that you're _fucked_._" The pencil snapped in his hands as he gaped at the brunette in fits of laughter. She eventually subsided as the completely shocked look on her friends' faces began to fade.

"You should have seen your faces." She chuckled. Letting go of Quinn's hand, she shifted herself up slightly on the bed. "But put it down; that whole musical should be in there really."

Puck wrote down a few more words at the brunette's insistence before shoving it roughly in his school bag. He slung it over his shoulder and patted Rachel's leg as he said goodbye.

"C'mon Quinn, we don't wanna be late."

"I'm not going."

Rachel and Noah gave her disapproving looks, but he shrugged and left. Rachel wasn't as lenient.

"You need to go to school." She insisted.

"No, I don't."

"You do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't." Quinn near yelled.

"Don't."

"Do- dammit!" Quinn dropped her head in her hands in defeat. She moved to rest her chin in one hand and the other became busy with Rachel's. "I really don't want to, Rach."

Rachel smiled at the nickname.

"Quinn, I'm not having your gpa or attendance slip because of me."

"It wouldn't even be applicable without you."

"Can you go, please? For me?" She slipped in at the end.

Quinn refused to meet her eyes. Her hand held Rachel's tightly.

"I'm not sure if I can walk those halls anymore. If I can walk by _his_ locker. Go into _that_ bathroom. Be _that _person." Her voice began to quiver.

"So don't be that person. Quinn, look at me." The blonde lifted her head reluctantly. "You are stronger than this. Stronger than _him_. Show that entire school that nothing can shake the great Quinn Fabray."

"But it has shaken me. It's shaken me to the very core and I'm not strong enough anymore. I can't seem to let you out of my sight. I'm not strong enough to leave you here unprotected or to go to school unprotected."

"Noah will be there, so will Santana, Brittany and the entire Glee club." Quinn scoffed at the last on the list. "No matter what they've done, they're there for you. As for the strength," Rachel let go of Quinn and reached into the draw beside her bed. "I stopped wearing it a while ago, but my Fathers brought it by in case I wanted it." She placed a gold chain in Quinn's open palm. The star charm that dangled from it shone under the cheap lighting. "If you're only strong when I'm with you, then carry me with you for as long as you need."

With shaking hands Quinn reached her hands back and removed the cross necklace from her neck before replacing it. Somehow the star gave her much more relief than the religious symbol ever did. It wasn't a symbol weighing heavily on her neck, shaming her for breaking her beliefs, but was reinforcement. She placed her palm over where it lay on her chest and smiled.

"Now go home and get changed. I doubt that Sue'll like this look." Quinn looked down at her tatty jeans and old Ohio Orioles shirt. Her feet were clad in mismatched socks and grey plimsolls. "Not exactly Cheerio standards."

Quinn laughed. "You're right. I need to pick up some more stuff from home as well. Is there anything you need?" Rachel could tell that there was more weight behind those words than just gathering her desired items.

"Could you get my homework assignments? There's some stuff from home, but I'll text you the list later. Speaking of which…" Rachel took Quinn's phone from where it lay on the side table and pressed the keys. "My number for you." Quinn shook her head.

"I didn't even have your number. Pathetic." Taking the phone from Rachel, she slipped her Cheerios bag over her shoulder. "I will text you every hour, on the hour, for updates, okay? But if anything happens; don't even dare to hesitate to text me." Rachel nodded with a slight smile. "I swear to God, Berry. If your Dads tell me that something happened when I get back from school, I'll sort you out myself."

"Cement shoes?"

"Right into Lost Creek Reservoir."

"And it's Berry now?"

"Only when you don't behave." She laughed. "I'll see you later." Quinn brushed her hand over Rachel's before unwillingly leaving.

Rachel's hand still flamed from where Quinn had touched it, as it had done for the last 5 days. Quinn had taken the last two days of school off the previous week, understandably, and the Monday, but Rachel knew that she couldn't keep her anymore. As much as she wanted her, her own cheering squad she thought, it was selfish. Quinn had her own life, her family and her friends. But was Rachel one of those people now? It would seem stupid to think not, but also slightly wrong to think so. It made it seem like she saved her to be friends with her. Is that not why she did it? Of course not. Or was it? God, this was much too convoluted for her medicated mind to handle. Groaning she lay her head down and let her mind drift.

"_Maybe I'm cra-zy? Maybe you're cra-zy? Maybe we're cra-zy. Possibly._" She sniggered at herself and continued to sing under her breath.

* * *

><p>Quinn flipped open her phone in the car. She sat in her driveway and took deep breaths. She flipped it open again. Closed it. Breath. Open. Closed. Breath. She repeated for 5 minutes until the phone buzzed in her hand. She squeaked in surprise and chastised herself and read it.<p>

**You'd better be in school.**

Quinn hastily glanced around her, sure that Rachel was watching her somehow. She quickly typed out a reply.

**I'm on my way?**

**Fabray.** **I'm giving you a disapproving stare right now.**

**I'm quaking in my sneakers.**

**I'm very well trained in the art of 'Jewish Mother's guilt trip.' Mrs Puckerman taught me well.**

**All right, I'm leaving.**

Quinn soon pulled into the WMHS parking lot in her designated Cheerio parking spot and clenched the wheel, desperate to gain composure. She was wearing her spare uniform, but despite being a different outfit entirely, she felt the blood soaking through and thought she could smell the rusty scent. She hurriedly grabbed her bag, not wanting to think of it all a moment longer.

The stone steps looked mountainous to her and she scaled them with dread filling her veins. Her heart was loud in her ears and her head began to feel woozy. A hand pressed against the top of her back and guided her through the double doors. Quinn took a hold of the star around her neck and turned to meet Mercedes' soft eyes.

"I gotcha, Blondie." They smiled and walked the deserted halls. They were both late for first period so they went to the office to sign in.

"How come you're late?"

Mercedes offered her a grin. "I was waiting in my car for you. I thought you might need some help today." Quinn stopped abruptly and pulled the girl into a tight hug before stepping back to look at her.

"Thank you."

"We're sisters, remember?"

"I think I just needed the reminder." They linked arms and walked into the office.

* * *

><p>The Administrator had sent Mercedes to class but had softly told Quinn that Miss Pillsbury requested her presence in her office. Mercedes shot a sympathetic look at her and told her that she'd see her at lunch. Quinn felt slightly abandoned, but knew that there was nothing that she could have done but follow the older woman's instructions.<p>

It got slightly awkward when the Administrator placed her hand gently atop of hers and asked if she was okay. The look she gave Quinn made her stomach curl in repulsion slightly. She wanted to snap her hand away and bite out a snarky response, but she just pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded slightly before leaving.

Quinn made it safely through the hallway, silently and with her eyes on the floor, until it was just that that made her stop. The linoleum at her feet was stained and slightly off colour. A reddish brown. Her heart felt as if it had jumped into her throat and her breathing came out in short, quick gasps.

"_**What's wrong Quinn? Scared?" The boy jeered at them. "You fucking should be. You're such a bitch to everyone so they don't see the scared little girl you are."**_

Quinn fell to her knees, her palms bracing her weight on the cold ground.

"_**Dave, don't." Quinn whispered. "Please. You can walk out right now and no-one will hurt you. You won't go to hell. God is all forgiving and loves us all unconditionally. God loves you, Dave."**_

A sob scraped at her throat and her stomach clenched tightly.

"_**What did you call me?" His lip curled. "Did you just call me… You disgust me you slut. You and your bastard child are going straight to hell where you'll burn."**_

She retched slightly and shot to her feet. The bathroom door banged open in synchronisation with the gunshot in her ears. Stumbling to the last cubicle, she emptied her breakfast as tears began to stream. She began to dry-heave as she felt her heart beat strum in her temples. One hand pressed against the back wall of the stall and the other seized desperately onto her Cheerio uniform.

The door of the bathroom groaned slightly and footsteps echoed throughout the room.

_**Quinn pressed an ear to the door and Rachel came up behind her.  
>"I think they're gone."<strong>_

Another retch wracked her body and a hand rubbed the top of her back soothingly. When the heaving settled, two hands wrapped around her upper arms and gently pulled her to her feet. Without the gagging, she just choked on her tears.

She was led blindly through the school to a door emblazoned with the Cheerios logo. A chair was pushed under her legs and she sat with a bump. Coach Sylvester stood at the window to her office, her back to her.

"Back when I was in the Gulf War, I saw some horrible things. I had been in the Special Forces for 10 years. It was a simple locate and rescue mission. One of the other units had been ambushed by Salah Aboud Mahmoud's men and had captured one of the superior officers. We formed an arc around the base, covering from all sides but one, hoping to drive them out and funnel them into an open area where infantry were lying in wait. That's not how it went, though. They knew we were coming and shot us like fish in a barrel. We ordered an airstrike and got the hell out of there. My commanding officer ordered me to leave, and he would follow." She tilted her head to the side as she recollected. "Miller was like my brother. He had his own self absorbed mother, dead military father and his own Jeannie at home. We were confidants and best friends. He yelled at us to move faster but I froze. Gunshots hit all around us and he pushed us into the ruts of a cliff face, hoping to hide from their view. I was the last to get shoved to our hiding place and I turned to yell something to him. I don't even remember what I was going to say. The bullet went straight through him. Right through his neck and hit me in my vest. I dragged him out of view and he died in my arms. I had kept on apologizing to him; for not moving faster, for the mission and for so many things that were out of my control."

Coach Sylvester turned towards Quinn with an eerily serene face.

"Do you still feel her in your arms? Do you still see it behind your eyelids? Do you still feel her over your hands?" Quinn nodded meekly. "Good."

Quinn's head shot up in confusion.

"You need to remember all of that and feel it because the only other option is to become numb to it all. You don't need to become me, Quinn."

She took a seat at the other side of the desk and clasped her hands together. She stared at Quinn and the only thing that gave away her emotion was her eyes, ruining the mask of indifference that she wore.  
>It was something she had taught the Cheerios. You wear your mask and a glare and you will stay strong and superior to the rest of the student body. Emotions are for the weak.<p>

"You will never forget what happened for the rest of your life, but at least when you do get crushed again by what happened, you can go see her and be reassured. Don't under-estimate that."

Nodding at her Coach, she took her bag in her trembling hands.

"And don't let the guilt smother you, Fabray."

Quinn didn't trust her voice enough to answer her yet, so she nodded once more.

"_**Quinn?" Her voice was husky and broken. "I for-… I forgive you. For everything, I forgive you."**_

* * *

><p><strong>(An So it's not exactly a cliff hanger ending that'll keep you on the edge of your seats, but hopefully a satisfying one?**

**I have one more exam left tomorrow, so I'll try to put a bit more effort into the story after that.**

**A wee tid bit of background story of this Fic; I wrote it after I listened to **'They'll Never Know'** by **Ross Copperman**. It's a truly beautiful song and I suggest that anyone who reads this listens to it.**

**Sorry for being a day late, hopefully it wasn't a nickel short? :P**

**There's this fancy little button below that says review. Can you hear it?**

'**Click me! Click me!'**

**Thanks for reading)**


	7. Chapter 7

**(A/n So, in light of my late update, I'm giving you an early one. I am still going to be updating on Mondays from here on out, apart from this Monday of course. **

**Thank you for all of your reviews as usual, and to tweetyisadude; I would be honoured for you to post this on your tumblr. I would have PM-ed you this, but you had it switched off unfortunately.**

**Merci beaucoup Caitlin****!**

**Glee isn't mine yada yada yada.**

**Previously:** _"And don't let the guilt smother you, Fabray."_

_Quinn didn't trust her voice enough to answer her yet, so she nodded once more._

"_**Quinn?" Her voice was husky and broken. "I for-… I forgive you. For everything, I forgive you."**_**)**

* * *

><p>Quinn could do this, she told herself. Like Rachel had said, nothing can shake the great Quinn Fabray. She rubbed her thumb over the charm between her fingers and took a deep breath. Releasing it, she entered the classroom.<p>

Miss Buchanan was turned towards the whiteboard talking about the importance of the nameless wife in 'Of Mice and Men' and the murmuring class were talking between themselves as the door creaked open. A deathly silence fell on the room. Quinn kept her body rigid, her back straight, and her head high as she walked over to her English teacher. The woman let out a quiet gasp when she saw the girl but quickly took the absence note that was proffered. Quinn avoided all eye contact as she walked to her desk. One hand was wrapped around her book bag strap and the other was clenched to keep it from trembling. The necklace bounced on the polyester with every step and it matched her thundering heartbeat.

She took another deep breath as she sat and looked at the class for the first time. Their gazes had all followed her to her seat and now every face looked either shocked or dumbfounded. Quinn shot a trademark ice cold glare to them all and in almost synchronization, they turned to the board in fear.

Quinn didn't move to take out her exercise book or copy of 'Of Mice and Men', but watched as the entire class huddled with their neighbour to talk about the blonde. Her knee began to bounce on the floor nervously as she heard snippets of the conversation.

"_I heard she shot Rachel and went after Karofsky."_

"_I heard that she used Rachel as a human shield."_

"_I heard that Karofsky had pictures of them both plastered in his locker."_

"_I heard that Quinn set it all up."_

The movement of her knee became quicker and it began to shake her whole body. Her hand went to her necklace and moved it furiously through her fingers. Her body began to rock slightly as more accusations fell on her ears.

A hand moved a copy of the literature towards her across the table. She looked up and a familiar face smiled at her as he sat down.

"Kaltxì, lor menari." Sam took a seat and slid his notes across as well.

"'Cedes sent me a text saying that you were in so I re-wrote my notes from the last week for you."

Quinn shot him a grateful smile before realization set in.

"'Cedes?" She added a playful smirk to the question and full on smiled as the boy blushed.

"Yeah, well… I have all of the glee member's numbers. Well… apart from…" He looked down and fiddled with his pen but kept silent. That was one thing Quinn had always loved about Sam, he knew her. He knew when she didn't want to talk about something and knew that if he just waited it would all come out in the end. He had more patience than most.

"So tell me about you and '_Cedes_."

"There's nothing to-" She gave him a look. "It all started at prom last year. We started dating after Nationals and over summer. It's nearly been 7 months." He looked down at his fumbling hands again and blushed. Quinn reached a hand to rest on his forearm.

"That's really good, but how did you keep it a secret?"

"We didn't actively keep it a secret, but we just don't hold hands or kiss at school. I give her a ride to and from school and we spend every other moment together. I haven't sat with the jocks at lunch ever since and whenever we get a duet, we're together. Everyone just think we're good friends, which either is insulting because they think we couldn't be together, or just good because we don't have to meet the expectations of this school."

"I never would have guessed."

Sam smiled and tapped his pen on the notes in front of her.

"Get writing, Lor Menari."

She let go of the pendant and picked up her pen.

* * *

><p>The bell rang sooner than she had expected and she gathered her things. She kept her eyes trained on the floor still, knowing the route to her locker by heart. Her eyes met no-one's until she pulled open the door and Finn appeared by her side. Exasperatedly, she threw her books in and wrenched her others out.<p>

"Go away, Finn."

"I just want to-"

"No."

"You don't even know-"

"She's in hospital; they're taking care of her. She's fine. Go away."

"Maybe I wasn't going to-"

"Yes, you were."

"I was gonna see how _you_ were." He rushed out.

Quinn closed her locker slowly and tucked her books under her arm. She turned to him and her eyes softened slightly.

"No you weren't." She whispered. Before he could answer she strode off to her next class.

The sudden hush swept over her classmates again as she entered and she sighed in frustration. She did her HBIC walk to her chair and sat down primly. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled her exercise book to the edge of the table to hide it under the lip.

**Hourly update: breaking news! The hot male training nurse winked at me as he took my vitals and asked if I wanted a sponge bath! I may have taken it the wrong way and told him that just because I have a bum shoulder doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of doing such tasks. I may have slipped in a few other choice descriptions about where he could put the sponge, but I blame the lack of pain medication.**

**I asked for an hourly update, not the entire news broadcast. And why are you lacking medication?**

**How can you go from biting and sarcastic to caring in one second?**

**I'm coming back at lunch.**

**And face the wrath of the disapproving stare? Are you willing to risk your well being? I think not, Fabray.**

Mr. Schuester walked in, 5 minutes late, and set his briefcase on his desk. He began to spout off about Spanish in the home, so Quinn turned back to her phone.

**Yes ma'am. I'm assuming that I still have to go to Glee?**

**Is Cheerios not on?**

**Well, yes, but I think Coach'll let me off this week.**

**Why?**

**Long story. Long, slightly confusing, story.**

**You can regale me with it when you get here. Now go learn!**

Quinn tucked her phone away and began to doodle on her notebook. She stopped and flicked through, pausing when she got to her doodles of Rachel. In disgrace, she tore every one of them out. The notebook was much thinner now that the stack of doodles was removed. She folded them over and slipped them into her bag. Her fingers began to play with her necklace once again.

Casey Collins in the second row looked back at Quinn and curled her lip in disgust. Quinn replied with a cold glare, but was extremely confused. She didn't know Casey Collins at all, apart from her name. The girl scoffed and turned back to the front of class.

When the lesson was dismissed and Quinn went to walk to lunch, she was stopped by the girl.

"You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Why exactly is that?"

"You used her as a fucking shield you bitch. I hope you burn in hell."

"_**You and your bastard child are going straight to hell where you'll burn." **_Dave's voice echoed in her ears once more.

Quinn gasped and her body began to shake as she began to have trouble breathing. Casey didn't notice this though and took a step into her personal space.

She spat out another string of curses into her face but Quinn only heard muffled noises. Casey raised a hand and her head snapped to the side with the force of the blow. She walked away as Quinn tried to regain her breath. Her left cheek burned with the handprint and tears threatened to fall. Santana stormed over to her but took her chin gently. She examined her face then cracked her knuckles.

"That bitch thinks she can walk into _our_ school and just-"Quinn reached out a hand to hold Santana's wrist. Their eyes met and Santana quietly wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked with her.

Quinn considered herself lucky that she had had to leave her class slightly late due to a stuck zipper and that in light of that, the hallways were clear. The only people in the hallway were Santana and Jacob Ben Israel. Mercedes walked into view and Santana passed the girl off to her. She turned and walked towards Jacob. He backed into his locker as she towered over him.

"You're not going to tell anyone what just happened. I'm not going to tell you the consequences for if you do, but I think we both know what I'm capable of."

He nodded his head frantically.

"And one word about Rachel on your site, and we'll have an even bigger problem." With that she walked away leaving the quivering boy plastered onto the metal.

* * *

><p>Quinn set her tray down at the Glee lunch table and ate quietly, her thumb rubbing slowly over her necklace as she did so. She had to let go to open her bottle and Santana winked at her.<p>

"Nice necklace there, Q." Quinn blushed slightly.

"Hey isn't that Ra- Ow!" Finn yelped as two feet collided with his shin. He looked at the people across from him and both Mike and Tina glared at him. He looked at the rest of the group for defense but they had matching looks.

"It's pretty." He mumbled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Sam ambled over to the table and slid next to Mercedes. She couldn't see it, but she knew that his hand was resting on her knee as he began to talk to Artie about a video game. Quinn looked around at her team-mates. They had saved her a seat so that she was basically dead in the centre of the table, surrounded and protected. For the first time in that whole day, she relaxed. They all chatted about nonsensical stuff, and helped to keep Quinn's mind off of everything.

When it was nearing the end of lunch, Puck swaggered to the table, spun a seat and sat on it backwards. He folded his arms over the back of the chair and smiled at them all. Quinn was the only one to notice the bandage across his left shoulder blade. It was slightly hidden by his black Henley shirt, but she pointed it out.

"What the hell did you do, Puck?" What would once have come out sharp and snappy was now soft.

"I err…" He pursed his lips and wrung his hands. "I was gonna wait until we got to the hospital to show you, but…" He tugged the collar of his shirt to the side and peeled away the bandage.

There, slightly raised from his red, irritated skin, was the black outline of a star about the size of a golf ball. The table fell silent. Quinn got up from her seat and walked to his side. She pressed a hand against his left cheek and placed a firm kiss on his right. She thumbed away the mark her lip gloss had left and patted his cheek slightly. She walked back to her seat and took her tray away.

Puck smiled warmly at her retreating figure before turning to his team-mates.

"There's nothing going on between you two, is there? We don't need another baby-gate."

Puck thought back to walking in on the two girls curled together on Rachel's bed, Quinn's arm draped possessively over her stomach and Rachel's hand clutching her shirt in the same manner.

"No, I don't think that's gonna happen." He smirked. "But I love 'em both. They're my girls."

Santana reached out a hand and bumped fists with him.

"You're taking me after school, by the way." The whole Glee club nodded in agreement and began to talk about where they would get theirs and how they'd get permission.

Puck replaced the gauze and observed that Finn had been quiet throughout the whole exchange. He leaned over to his friend and asked if he was alright.

"She hates me. They both do."

"Dude, Rachel doesn't hate anyone. Quinn, yeah she probably does, but those are both bridges that can be fixed."

"I'm not sure if I want to get a tattoo."

Puck nodded in understanding.

"That's fine, I didn't expect anyone to want to join me, it's just an added bonus. Your body, your choice." Puck tried to keep the displeasure out of his voice. "But if you truly loved her, at least attempt to show some sort of allegiance to her. It doesn't have to be this, but just something. Flowers, a song, a present. Anything."

"I tried, but Quinn won't let me near her."

"You're obviously not trying hard enough. The moment you try your hardest to get to that girl, Quinn'll let you. You just have to work for that privilege."

**(A/n Thanks for reading and supporting the story. Review?)**


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/n So there's a bit more on Casey here and a bit of something else. **

**Thank you all again for your amazing reviews, I'm truly lucky to have such great readers.**

**Previously: **_"I tried, but Quinn won't let me near her."_

_"You're obviously not trying hard enough. The moment you try your hardest to get to that girl, Quinn'll let you. You just have to work for that privilege."**)**_

* * *

><p>Jacob sat in the library alone. The darkness was punctured by the glow of his computer screen. It was after school. <em>Late <em>after school. The janitors were long since gone and he had had to jiggle the lock to the library window a few times before it stiffly slid open. After crouching low to the ground humming the theme to 'Mission Impossible', he slid into a battered plastic chair and turned the PC on. It emitted a loud whirring noise and the tri-tone to signal it's booting up and his head whipped around to see if anyone was in the shadows. His heart rate was fast and sweat began to bead on his forehead. His fingers strummed over the plastic keys as he logged in. After a wait, his plan set into motion. It wouldn't take long to get what he wanted; the school wasn't exactly Fort Knox.

He opened a folder, then another, and then another, until; there it was.

* * *

><p>Quinn got there moments before Finn. She was walking to Rachel's room and he was at the opposite end of the hall. She strode in and slammed the door in his face. She shut the blinds on the window to the hallway and curled her lip in disgust at the closed door.<p>

Rachel smiled at her actions.

"What in the world are you up to, Fabray?"

"Umm, nothing much. How are you feeling?"

"Don't try and change the subject."

"That isn't an answer."

"I'm feeling okay; they're slowly reducing the medication as I'll be leaving in 9 days." Diversion accomplished, Quinn grinned. She walked over to the bed, setting her bag on the table, and moved into the space Rachel was shuffling to vacate. Rachel had lifted her right arm up and around Quinn's shoulder so that they could fit comfortably. She fiddled with Rachel's hospital gown and closed her eyes, exhausted by the day's events.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Quinn shook her head solemnly. With all that was going on, she didn't want to burden the girl with much more. "Just a long day."

"How about you tell me that long story of Sylvester's?"

Quinn smiled and began a back story on the Gulf War.

* * *

><p><strong>(2 days later)<strong>

When Rachel woke, Quinn was gone. The bed where she had been curled up was cool under her palm and Rachel ached at the thought of Quinn not being there. It was slightly irrational, but Rachel felt a bit lost without those piercing hazel eyes watching over her. Rachel closed her eyes again and sucked in a deep breath. Quinn's perfume lingered slightly on the pillow beside her and she moved her head to burrow her nose in it. The dull ache in her shoulder made its presence known and she turned her head back to appease it.

She lifted her right arm out to pull her rolling table closer. Quinn had put her assignments on it along with her pencil-case and a couple of books. Uninterested, Rachel flicked through the sheets of paper. Each had a small, polite note at the bottom wishing her well, but each of them seemed kind of forced. They were all cut from the same cloth. We miss you, get well soon and not the same without you blended into a single sentence in her mind: We don't actually care.

Rachel shrugged and looked through the books. Quinn had left a couple of her text books in with her own so she set them to the side for the blonde to pick up later. She looked at the two piles and decided to move them back to their original mess. She liked them mingling. A few sheets of wrinkled paper were jutting out from a book at the bottom of the stack and out of curiosity, Rachel began to lightly tug in an attempt to free them. She carefully got them out and endeavored to flatten them with her single hand. When they were sufficiently smooth, she lifted them into her view. She took a sharp intake of breath.

Sitting boldly against the dirty white was her face. Strong swipes of graphite and soft smudges of grey blended into a near perfect depiction of the planes of her slumbering profile. She was asleep but her brow was furrowed slightly and her lips were marginally pursed. If her eyes were open you would think she had been deep in thought, but this look told a story of a girl with troubled dreams. Rachel turned to the next image and she was awake this time. She was looking to the side, presumably out the window that was set in the drab hospital room wall, and her eyes glistened. Her mouth hung open a little and the light highlighted her prominent features. The next showed a rough sketch, just sharp lines, of the girl getting her bandages changed. Her arm was being gently lifted as she clutched her gown to her chest, the ties having been undone to release her shoulder.

The final sketch was the best by far. Rachel sat on the bed, beaming at Noah, her eyes glinting with delight. Noah was looking at her with a loving gaze, the corners of his mouth lifted in a slight smile and the corners of his eyes crinkled with joy. It also seemed to be the most recent. The collar of his dress shirt was spread open as one arm was casually draped over the back of the chair in ease and two corners of his tattoo were visible. Rachel smiled at the memory. From the clothing that Noah was wearing she deduced it was from a day ago, a day after he showed her the tattoo, and he had just come from a college interview. He had interviewed with Ohio State with the hopes of a football scholarship and was really pleased with the reception he was given.

Rachel carefully slipped the images back into the book after some movement and slid down in the bed. She pulled Quinn's pillow into her body and snuggled into it.

* * *

><p>Quinn walked down the hall silently. Her earphones were in her ears as she thought of what she'd sing to Rachel next. She had created a playlist of possibilities and was currently running through them. She slowly made her way to her locker and worked on the lock. She slowly opened it, in a trance from the calm music in her ears, and jumped when it slammed shut in front of her face. The breeze from the swift movement swept across her face and a tanned wrist settled in front of her view, the hand pressed firmly against the metal. On the back of the hand, between the thumb and forefinger, sat a black star.<p>

"What the fuck, Santana?" She turned her head harshly to look at the girl. "You could have broken my hand." She didn't move. "San… what's wrong?"

The calm mask she wore sacred Quinn, even more so when it broke for a moment and she saw that something was indeed terribly wrong.

"Leave."

"What? What are you-?"

"Get out of school. Right now. Leave."

"I can't just-"

"Q," Santana begged, "please, just leave. Right now."

Brittany hurried up the corridor and stopped beside the fellow cheerleaders.

"You shouldn't be here, Q."

"Are you two gonna tell me what's happening?"

"No. Leave."

Quinn stared at the two of them in confusion. Santana wracked her brain for some kind of excuse to placate her, but came up short. Quinn looked between them and decided to do what they said. She stepped closer to each of them.

"You are going to come see me after school and explain." She didn't ask, she practically demanded it.

"We'll see. Just leave."

Quinn turned on her heel and strode out, still bewildered by her friends.

Santana sighed and her head drooped to her chest. Brittany slipped her hand around her waist and placed her forehead between her shoulder blades. She turned in her embrace and wrapped her arms around her.

"We need to deal with this quickly."

Brittany nodded. "Let's go."

Pinkies linked, they walked down the bustling corridor past the announcement monitors playing the surveillance video.

* * *

><p>Glee club was silent. Every eye was on the monitor in the corner of the room and the black and white images that replayed. No-one could find the source of the leak or how they had re-coded the school's systems to keep it on. It hadn't stopped all day.<p>

The images had begun to haunt every member of the club.

Mr. Schuester sat atop the piano with his head in his hands.

The usually loud and boisterous room was only filled with heavy breathing.

Will thought about asking for an update on their progress with the assignment but once he lifted his head his thoughts fell silent. He looked at the hurt, sad and pissed off students and his heart ached. He stood from his perch and walked to the centre of the room.

"I want a list." Everyone just looked at him in puzzlement. "I want a list of every student that could cause... _ this_." He thrust a finger at the TV screen. None of them was equipped with a power button and they were bolted to the wall in such a way that the power cord wasn't reachable. This was done to stop students from messing with them and the master switch was in the Principal's office. Principal Figgins was off ill, however, and had locked his office. After a prank in which a student had posted Playboy images over every inch of his walls, he made sure that only he had the keys. Puck offered to break in, but doing so could result in expulsion no matter what the reasons were and the club had stopped him for going ahead with the plan. As long as Quinn didn't see it, they would suffer through until Figgins came back.

Members began to shout out names at him and Will threw a pen to Finn and pointed at the board.

"Write them." He sat back on the piano and interjected with names when the club wasn't spouting them frantically. When Finn couldn't keep up, Will passed a pen to Kurt and he joined his brother at the board.

By the end of the lesson the board was full and Will had his list of suspects.

"The meeting tomorrow is cancelled. I have something to do." They all understood and left at the bell.

Finn walked over to Santana's locker and held out his phone. There was a picture of the whiteboard on screen and Santana took it from him.

"I need your help."

She flicked her gaze over the names once more and looked up at the man mountain.

"Meet me after Cheerios." She strode down the hall leaving a pleased Finn in her wake.

* * *

><p>Casey Collins sat, alone, in the scarce, brown grass. It tickled her ankles and scratched at her legs. A warm trickle of sun moved across her back as the clouds shifted in the sky and the wind whisked around her, twirling leaves into the air before letting them settle. Her bag was slumped haphazardly beside her and its contents were threatening to spill out. She removed a book from it; the cover was old and battered, the corners were dog-eared and the spine was broken in places causing pages to fall out if held incorrectly. Her lips fluttered as she spoke under her breath, the words as soft as the wind that enveloped her. A tear slid down her cheek and hit the book forming a stain that matched the others on the page.<p>

This was where she used to meet her. After school or between extra-curricular lessons. This was their spot.

A large tree was leant over her menacingly and with the movements of a bird, a leaf fell. Caught by the wind, it floated to the reservoir and sat on the water's surface.

She remembered swimming with her in the cool water in the summer. God, she missed those times.

She closed the book and took a deep breath of the warm air, wishing she could go talk to her but then scoffed at the thought.

They had broken each other and this wouldn't change that. She remembered the look in her eyes when she had told Casey about the blonde at school. The girl with the hazel eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>(An I was kind of anxious about how much angst there was in this chapter, but I had to lay some foundations before fluff can happen. **

** Next chapter: aftermath of the surveillance video.**

** I still haven't decided how Quinn'll react once she finds out. What do you gu****ys think?**

**Anyways, you've read, so review? It's always appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading.)**


	9. Chapter 9

**(A/n Sorry; day late again. I spent so much time thinking about chapter 10 that I kind of lagged on this one and finished it too late, but I think that when the tenth comes out you'll understand why.  
>*hint hint* *nudge nudge* ;)<strong>

**I didn't include all of the aftermath of the surveillance video here, but all in due time. All in due time.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine etc etc.**

**Previously: **_Casey closed the book and took a deep breath of the warm air, wishing she could go talk to her but then scoffed at the thought._

_They had broken each other and this wouldn't change that. She remembered the look in her eyes when she had told Casey about the blonde at school. The girl with the hazel eyes._**)**

* * *

><p><strong>(Years previously)<strong>

The door to the bathroom clunked shut behind her as she flew in. She collapsed against the sink, her red stained hands clutching franticly at the porcelain as her body tensed, trying so hard not to cry. Cold ice slipped from her hair as her head dropped and her eyes clenched shut. It slipped down her neck, across her collarbone and down her chest. Rachel shivered as the drink began to chill her warm skin. The colouring permeated her shirt and her body was tinged with it. The syrup began to dry and her skin felt stiff. She didn't acknowledge the door opening and the movement towards her. A tentative hand brushed the top of hers and she jumped at the contact.

A girl stood beside her. She had dyed purple hair and deep brown eyes. Her cheek bones stood out beautifully from her lightly tanned skin. Full, plump lips shone after her tongue peeked out and wet them.

"I saw what…" She trailed off. "Here." She held out a bag and Rachel hesitantly took it and opened it. It held small bottles of shampoo and soap, a small towel, a comb and a rolled up shirt.

"My tip; always have one of these, restocked, in your locker." She took the items out for the drenched girl. As Rachel began to remove the slushie from her hair, the girl took out her phone and tapped out a message. She slipped the phone back into her tight jeans and smiled at Rachel.

"I'm Kate, by the way." She offered a smile that Rachel gratefully returned. She let herself wonder for a moment if this Kate would be her first friend at the school.

Kate helped Rachel with the cleaning process until the bathroom door opened again. The brunette's blouse was agape and Kate was holding her ruined sweater.

"I- we- this isn't what it looks like!" She spluttered. Kate and the intruder laughed, the latter grabbed the shirt from the emergency kit in the process and tossed it to Rachel. She turned her back whilst she dressed and talked to Kate.

"So this is her?"

"You don't mind?"

The girls' eyes raked across Rachel's flushed face softly.

"I don't see why not. See you at home?"

"Unfortunately." Kate laughed. She left and Rachel was alone with the stranger. She was practically identical to Kate and as if reading Rachel's mind, she explained tenderly to her like a mother speaking affectionately to her child.

"My sister texted me. She would have stayed with you but she has a history test this period." She took a step into Rachel's personal space, but it wasn't unwelcome. She shivered as she could feel the warmth radiating from the other girl. Hands began to rub her upper arms, trying to create heat from friction. Rachel's eyes lifted from watching the hands to the other girl's face. The hands stilled but stayed upon her body. "I'm Casey." She whispered, taking a step further into her space.

Rachel hesitantly took a step back. "I'm Rachel." She stuck out a hand in a formal handshake and Casey dropped her hands.

Their hands met and Rachel shivered from the difference in temperature. Casey shivered from the electricity she felt strum through her body and settle in her stomach.

* * *

><p><strong>(Present day)<strong>

Rachel soon grew bored of work. The teachers had decided that she had enough time to do extra loads of work and Quinn had struggled to bring the stack to the hospital along with her own things. The three cheerleaders sat with Rachel as all of them had decided to do some homework. Rachel was the first to crack. She had made it through Calculus and English Literature but she had been worn down when it came to Physics. The words had begun to look like a foreign language and beyond English and Yiddish, Rachel didn't do well with languages.

Her pen started to twirl between her fingers like a miniature baton before she stuck it between her teeth, her eyes still strained on the array of letters and numbers on the page. Broadway couldn't care if she could balance equations, surely? Still restless, she began to tap it against the pad in a mangled rhythm. Quinn sighed and she stopped immediately. She spun it in her fingers again before halting suddenly. After wondering momentarily if she could pull off a hand drawn Harry Potter scar, she hunched over her notebook and drew.

Soon after, she lifted it up to rest under her nose, covering her mouth.

"Hey look, I've got a moustache!"

"I know you do, Berry. About time you realised." Santana said without looking up.

"I meant a fake one." Rachel pouted. Santana looked up and had the decency to look guilty.

"I knew that."She offered meekly trying to cover up her unintentional mocking. Rachel huffed but smiled. She was soon bored again.

Her eyes were drawn to Quinn as she shifted in her seat, her polyester uniform scratching against the cheap plastic surface. She let her gaze sweep over her features like she had done a million times in the previous 8 days. If she were an artist she could have drawn those lineaments with a blindfold on. Her fingers twitched unintentionally as Quinn took her lip between her teeth. She yearned to swipe a thumb across it and gently remove it from its captor. Rachel felt that yearning grow suddenly as images of her hands running across the rest of the girl's body assaulted her mind. Quinn's tongue made an appearance and further images hit Rachel with a remorseless force. She clenched her hands to stop from moving and tightened her eyes together to stop the thoughts.

Quinn looked up from her drawing to see the brunette tensed, almost holding herself together, and the flush of red creeping along her neck and cheeks. She threw her pencil and pad onto the desk and grabbed a clenched fist.

"Rachel?"

Rachel's eyes flew open as her hand began to burn under her touch.

"Is it the pain?" She asked frantically after taking in her demeanour.

"I- um- maybe." Just blame it on the pain, she tells herself, it's a valid answer. Her body relaxed when Quinn unfurled her fist and rubbed her thumb across her palm; the moaning, panting effigy of the blonde in her head remained however. Brittany flew to the side of the room as if doctors were about to fly in with a crash cart and Santana looked over the two curiously. A slow smirk spread across her face and an eyebrow raised as her suspicion was confirmed, but the two were wrapped up in each other to notice. Quinn reluctantly released Rachel's hand but held her unwavering gaze as she returned to her seat.

A thought occurred to the blonde and she leant in to Rachel again. Her mouth is a few inches from her ear when a loud voice bursts their bubble and everyone in the room jumped in their seats. Santana launched a pen at the man in the flamboyant outfit and Brittany clutched her chest dramatically.

"I was wondering why you were taking your sweet time in this hospital, and I realised that they're giving you the wrong medicine." Kurt raised three DVD cases with a flourish and grinned at the bed-ridden girl. Quinn's heart almost stopped before she realised that he was making a joke. He ushered the three cheerleaders out the door and as Quinn went she traced a hand down Rachel's arm, both of their breaths wavering as they were released. Their fingers linked momentarily, their knuckles pressed against each others, and Rachel ran the pad of her thumb deliberately up the side of Quinn's index fingers. Her stomach turned at the intimacy of the action and electricity flew through them both. Neither had ever felt such an overwhelming force and moment, and it almost forced Rachel to expel Kurt from the room just so she could continue the moment with her… her… what was she to Rachel? Their eyes locked and Rachel didn't care, because that look told them both exactly what Quinn was. She was hers.

"Stop eye-sexing each other, we need to see if seven brothers get their brides." They let go and immediately felt the loss. She took her necklace into her grasp to try and relinquish the emptiness and it helped only marginally. Two insistent hands pushed her out the door and thrust a bag into her stomach but it ungracefully fell to the floor. The door closed an inch from her face and Quinn leant forward to press her head against it, struggling to regain her composure. When it finally came back to her, she slung her bag over her shoulder and turned to her friends. Santana and Brittany looked at her with an omniscient look that shook the girl to her core. They both looped an arm through hers and escorted her to her car where they all split ways.

Quinn was halfway to her house when she remembered a notebook she wanted to show Rachel in her locker. She glanced at the clock before turning the steering wheel in her hands. It was only 5:00 and she knew that clubs were still running.

There were several cars scattered around the car park and she trudged tiredly to the double doors. The hallways were eerily quiet and Quinn shook the memories from her head, the beat from the necklace bouncing with her steps keeping her grounded. She couldn't drift away and let those memories wrap its tentacles around her again. Not to that extent anyway. She let the warm thoughts of Rachel that had enveloped her that afternoon carry her to her locker and retrieve the notebook. Her locker clanged shut and it reverberated throughout the empty halls. Her eyes were drawn to a flickering where two walls joined. Words were stolen from her as she watched her nightmares repeat on the television screen.

Her feet moved faster than she thought possible. She practically took the door off of its hinges when she got to her car and her tires screeched on the tarmac as she tore away from the images that tormented her. She couldn't have cared less about the speed limit as she hurried to her sanctuary. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and her head began to ache; she felt as if her whole body was turning on itself.

Quinn raced past people; through sliding doors, up stairs, and along corridors until she reached the right ward.

* * *

><p><strong>(Years previously)<strong>

Rachel squealed as she ran through the long grass. Matching laughter followed her and caught up as she stopped at a clearing. The laughter turned into wheezing as they acknowledged the amount of running they had just done. The clearing was beautiful. A tall, sturdy oak leant over a flood of inviting green grass that was laid like a carpet up to the edge of the reservoir. A few stray leaves swirled around the haven and birds sounded from the thick foliage that was held above them.

Casey slipped her hand into Rachel's without a second thought. Rachel hesitated slightly before she let the other girl lead her into the glade. Casey dropped to the floor under the tree and tugged Rachel along with her. She tripped slightly and landed unceremoniously on her ass with a slight thump. They both giggled and bumped shoulders. Casey retrieved a tattered book from her bag and opened it, moving the both of them back to lean against the rough bark.

The trunk of the tree seemed to be moulded for Casey's back and she slumped down slightly in comfort. Ridges and edges pressed into Rachel's back and she squirmed against the ancient timber, aching to find comfort. She found herself unable to settle and leant forward to rest her forearms on her crossed legs.

Casey traced her thumb across the page and turned to her friend, intent on sharing her piece of literary gold.

"'_And what's more, I love Daisy too. Once in a while I go off on a spree and make a fool of myself, but I always come back, and in my heart I love her all the time.'_ I love that bit." She sighed. Rachel shifted in her seat.

"Why's that?"

"He's telling her that no matter what, he'll always love her. It's romantic."

Rachel's brow furrowed and she looked at the other girl intently.

"He's saying that despite when he's adulterous, he'll come back to her. It isn't love, but the bond of the ring and commitment that binds him to her." Or, at least that's what Rachel wanted to say. The words bubbled at her lips but she kept her words to herself and her eyes trained on Casey. In a quick decision, she let Casey keep her idealistic view of the book and the world. She simply strained a smile and smothered her thoughts.

Casey failed to notice the strain of her smile and settled her head against Rachel's shoulder. She thumbed the page and continued to read to her friend. Rachel forced herself to find comfort in the situation and rested her head atop Casey's.

Casey rested a hand on Rachel's knee and kneaded the supple skin.

* * *

><p><strong>(Present day)<strong>

The memory flooded her mind and her eyes filled. Her hand stretched towards the door handle before it dropped. Casey slinked away from the door and rounded the corner. She was a coward, and she would gladly wear that word if it meant she didn't have to see that girl and feel her heart tear. Or tear again would be more precise. It quivered in her chest, as if anticipating what was to come. Casey lifted her trembling chin and strode out of the building. Someone scuffed her shoulder as they rushed past but it only made her stumble slightly before resuming her miserable path. She knew that Rachel wouldn't forgive her if she was to even walk in; and that reflection is what finally broke the dam to let the emotions pour.

* * *

><p><strong>(An Thank you all for sticking with me! I honestly love all of your reviews and comments on the story, they all give me some serious food for thought and are a delight to read.**

**Now I'm gonna bugger off and write the next chapter because I'm rather excited about it. Leave me a review?**

**Thanks for reading.)**


	10. Chapter 10

**(A/n I'm not going to say much apart from my sincerest thanks to Caitlin and to those who read this story.**

**Previously: **_Casey lifted her trembling chin and strode out of the building. Someone scuffed her shoulder as they rushed past but it only made her stumble slightly before resuming her miserable path. She knew that Rachel wouldn't forgive her if she was to even walk in; and that reflection is what finally broke the dam to let the emotions pour._**)**

* * *

><p>The door to the hospital room burst open and clashed against the wall. The two in the room jumped about two feet from their seats and Kurt let out a piercing scream. In any other situation Quinn would have laughed at him, but her eyes burned as they fell upon him.<p>

"Did you know?"

Kurt's jaw slackened and his eyes widened in fear.

"Kn-knew what exactly?"

"You came here, and didn't want to tell either of us?" She flung her hand, gesturing between herself and Rachel.

"I don't know wh-"

"You know. Hell, they _all_ know." She spat. Her frame shook in anger and her teeth ground together.

"You saw- how did you see it?"

"I needed to get- _urgh_. That doesn't even _matter_. I'm gonna _find_ them and _rip _their…" Her voice trailed off as she went to storm out of the room. Kurt flew up from his chair and lunged at the blonde, intent on stopping her from causing a massacre. His hand closed around her elbow and she turned to unleash fury upon him. He immediately removed his hand and took a step back after she made a sound that he could only call a growl. "_Who?_"

Kurt began to babble. The words tripped over themselves as they fell out of his mouth; "I-we don't even-maybe-no-couldn't be-maybe that-no-we don't- Mr. Schuester-list-"

"Quinn." Rachel's voice was soft and was barely heard over her friend's rambling, but she turned to the voice and her tension lifted. "What happened?" Kurt continued to babble in the background as she went to take her chair.

"They… they _know_, Rach. They _all_ _know_."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "More words, Quinn."

"They know. There was a… a video at school…" She got up off of her chair and sat next to Rachel on the bed. "It had…" she began to shake again but not with anger, with the determination to not cry and break at the seams. Rachel tugged her arm and she curled into her side. She didn't care that Kurt was still there, or that he was seeing the HBIC crumble. She just needed Rachel's reassurance that it would be okay.

She shushed and rubbed at Quinn's back as she fought for self-control. Rachel tilted her face and nestled her face into her hair. She let out a deep breath and the warmth spread across Quinn's head. Without thinking, she pressed a soft kiss on her head.

"How is it that you get shot and yet I'm the one that always gets comforted?"

Rachel chuckled. "Are you not here every night? I need comfort in the dark, you need it in the light. I'm perfectly fine with that. Besides, I'm hooked up on drugs, give me 6 days and then you'll have all day, every day." She brushed her lips on her hair again and rested her cheek upon her.

Kurt stood, babbling finally over, and was in awe. He knew things were different the moment he walked into that waiting room over a week ago and Quinn had a breakdown, but this was more than different. There wasn't a word for how different this was. Not wanting to break the tranquillity, he took a seat again and started the movie once more. He would wait until the cheerleader was ready to ask the questions before giving her the answers.

The credits soon rolled and as the text swept up the screen a low, sleepy voice rumbled from the bed.

"All day?"

Kurt looked up and met Quinn's pleading gaze. She didn't want the answer, but needed it.

"Yeah, on repeat in every room. No-one can seem to turn it off."

"Who?" Kurt shrugged helplessly.

"I wish I knew. Glee is basically forming a war party; we've got names." He smirked slightly but it dropped when he took in the two on the bed. Rachel had fallen asleep but she still clung tightly to the blonde, as if her life depended on it. Quinn was curled into the shorter girls side with her head resting on her chest. The burning hazel eyes were poring over her gently, taking in every facet of her image as if it were the last time she'd see her.

"Check Casey Collins." She muttered.

"Who?"

Quinn turned to him and explained their encounter. Kurt asked her to describe the girl again.

"One of the first times I was at Rachel's, her Dads sat me down with two heavy photo albums and several cups of hot chocolate. It was mainly the three of them, or family, but there was a fairly decent part of the more recent pictures with another girl… you don't think it's her, do you?"

Her frown quirked slightly in deliberation. "Put her on the list."

Kurt nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder. He left a kiss on Rachel's cheek, took his laptop and left. Quinn listened to the steady heart beat of the body beneath her. Her head lifted with each breath she took and her hair moved with every one she let out. Tilting her head up, she traced her fingers over the bandaged shoulder. It was light, not enough for Rachel to notice, but hard enough for the gauze to scratch at her fingertips.

"You'll never know how sorry I am."

Her finger then danced delicately across where Rachel's gown had shifted and up her neck. She began to stir under touch and Quinn stilled, her heart thumped at the prospect of being caught creepily stroking her. When her breath became regular again she continued. Her thumb brushed the underside of the defined jaw line and gasped at the burn it caused. The fire swept through her body, relentless. Her finger tips pulsed in an ache to touch the brunette. Quinn's fingers continued to trace her features lightly.

Rachel willed her self to keep her eyes closed and her breathing normal. She had never felt so open and vulnerable than underneath the blonde and yet she felt so… reinforced; if that made sense. Rachel felt the coherency of her thoughts slip away from her as the hand failed to cease its movement. The bed rustled and she felt Quinn move up slightly. She shivered when she felt lips brush her forehead, her cheek bones and the right of her jaw.

Quinn couldn't help herself. The burn from her fingers pulsated in her veins and flourished in her heart. Her stomach flipped as she shifted up in the bed, careful of disturbing Rachel. She had spent so long thinking, deliberating. She just let herself go, let everything go, and went with the fluttering in her stomach. She leant forward and lightly brushed her lips on the forehead before her. Moving without thinking, she went across her face, highlighting her most prominent features.

Without even opening her eyes, she knew where Quinn wanted to go next. She felt the hesitancy in the air and the tension that swarmed them. It pushed against her heart and swirled in her abdomen. She needed her. Rachel didn't even know when it started anymore. She had been aware of a little something before the… recent events. But she had considered the little something to be a little nothing. It was the… incident… that had stirred things. It had thrown everything in the air and now it was all about to settle, but not in the place they were before, no.

She refused to let the moment pass or have what she'd waited for to be stolen. In a moment of sureness, she opened her eyes to the ones inches from her own. She had always described them as hazel, but they were much more. They were green, orange, gold, brown, and warm. And now they were filled with a secret, ready to burst.

Neither moved, nor took a breath.

As if my some magnetic force, they drifted towards each other until their lips were a hairsbreadth away. Quinn moved her lips as if to speak, but as they did they brushed Rachel's and the words died upon her tongue.

They moved forward, meeting in the middle. Equals.

It was tentative and both took in sharp breaths through their noses at the feeling. The pure, raw electricity from earlier ruptured from them both as their lips moved across each others. Quinn lifted her hand and ran it in Rachel's hair before holding on a little, securing her place on her lips. They broke for a breath before coming back together, like a perfectly choreographed dance. Rachel took Quinn's bottom lip between hers and sucked on it slightly. The blonde moaned softly at the feeling and brushed the tip of her tongue against Rachel's. She reciprocated with a moan of her own and they opened, meeting each other, and marvelled at the feeling. Rachel clasped Quinn's cheek in her right hand and tried to pull her closer, though it weren't even possible. They broke and Rachel's head dropped with a thud onto Quinn's shoulder. Her heart raced and burned with the electricity that still hummed through her. Quinn steadied herself. She reminded herself of where she was, and why, and warned herself to not take it too far. Rachel took that moment to lift her head and she threw warnings out of the window and kissed her again. It was even better than the first. The tentativeness was left behind and they were passionate and eager.

A knock sounded at the door and Quinn shot off of Rachel so fast that she found herself on the floor nursing a bruised ass. She stood up and strode to the door, muttering many expletives under her breath, and opened it quickly with a strained smile. Finn stood at the other side and the smile dropped. She shut the door. Rachel laughed from her seat on the bed and quirked an eyebrow.

"Your maturity is astounding, Miss Fabray."

"Grow old, not grow up." She shrugged. A knock sounded again.

"Aren't you gonna let him in?"

"No." Rachel fought the smile that wanted to break and gave Quinn a stern look.

"What about manners? I'm sure your mother taught you those." Quinn huffed and opened the door to see the teen fumbling with not only his words but a bouquet of flowers.

"Please go away, thank you." She shut the door again before turning to Rachel. She had her mouth dropped in astonishment. "My mother taught me how to say please and thank you. I assume those were the manners you were talking about?"

"Quinn. Would you let him in?"

"No."

"Fine." She made a move to get up and Quinn rushed to her and pushed her back.

"Nuh uh. No. You stay in that bed, Berry."

"_Fabray_." She warned but relented when the pain shot through her arm.

Quinn reluctantly walked back to the door and opened it.

"5…4…" She span her hand in the air in a motion for him to get on with it.

"I wanted to see how Rachel is, and to give her these. I also wanted to apologize for every-"

"2...1" She took the flowers from his hands. "Thank you, come again." Her voice was sweet as saccharine but it dripped with venom. She shut the door. The flowers were placed on the sideboard to mingle with the rest of the small meadow that had formed.

"Some would construe that as rude, Fabray." That goddamn smirk stood strong.

"Do you think I was rude?" Her voice was low and throaty as she put two hands both sides of Rachel's waist and leant into her. She put on her poker face and clenched the hand that ached to touch her.

"Yes."

"Mm hmm." Quinn hummed speculatively. She turned, sat on the bed, and bent down to rummage through her bag. Rachel bit her lip as a sliver of skin peeked out from under her Cheerios top. She resumed her poker face when Quinn sat up abruptly with an accomplished look. She held a thick notebook and traced her fingers over it reverently. When she tore her gaze from the tome, it was nervous.

"Here." She held it out for her but when Rachel went for it the book was removed from her reach. "I just… it may seem creepy… or like weird… but just don't… I…go easy on me, okay?" Rachel smiled and raised a hand to the other girl's cheek. She traced, mimicking Quinn's movements from earlier, before quickly taking the book and opening it eagerly. She was positively beaming.

As it had done with the papers from the text books, Rachel's own face was staring up at her. The next page saw Mike slumped in a chair with his head thrown back, mouth agape and fast asleep. Santana was next, her gaze adoring towards the blonde chatting excitedly to someone off page. There was a close up of Brittany, her mouth was wide with laughter and her eyes shone out from the page. Sam had his hands thrown in the air describing a fight scene in a comic book movie and Rachel's face was almost in half with the wide smile she bore. Hiram and Leroy were sitting in chairs beside each other; Leroy had his entire body doubled over and his head rested on the short man's shoulder. His cheek was pressed hard against Hiram and his lip raised; you could practically hear the loud snores. Hiram had Leroy's hand in his, raised to his lips for a kiss. The next page had only flowers littering the entire page and when Rachel looked up she noticed that they matched those in her room. The entire pad was filled with her friends and all of those she loved. The final page held a small rendition of everyone in the club. Mr Schuester was in the middle and every eye was on him. The bottom held a short phrase in flowing script.

"_Glee is, by definition, opening oneself up to joy."_ Elegant and smooth lines swept from the words to form an art nouveau style border.

Rachel couldn't speak.

"Don't even say anything. Don't say a thing." Quinn took her face in her hands and kissed her softly.

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><p><strong>(An I can't believe I managed to maintain my attention span for long enough to write a whole chapter on one scene. I was so excited to post this chapter; my favourite by far!**

**Read and review?**

**Thanks for reading!)**


	11. Chapter 11

**(A/n Here's the deal, I'm currently in New York (rather than the usual London) so I'm pretty jet-lagged and over-all knackered. As a result, this is the shortest chapter so far. I'm on holiday for the next 3 or 4 weeks in various places so updating may possibly be a difficulty. So, to prevent missing out on this week's update, have it a day early (or maybe it's still a Monday, time-zones are beyond me).**

**Oh, and I tweaked the summary a bit because I won't be getting to the '8 years later' bit for a while. I was gonna do the whole story as a recollection, but it didn't seem to work out that way.**

**Previously: **_"Don't even say anything. Don't say a thing." Quinn took her face in her hands and kissed her softly._ **)**

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><p>The muscles in her cheek clenched. Her temples tensed beneath her skin and her nostrils flared. An ice cold gaze was merciless on all those who walked past and to those who watched her. The difference though was that no-one flinched, no-one reacted. They just murmured. God, Quinn hated the murmuring. The constant hum of conversation that encompassed her as she walked from class to class. She would catch parts but it was never anything different; always the same. Always about that god forsaken video that <em>still<em> played in each room of the building. Figgins still hadn't returned to the school and so the loop still continued endlessly. She had managed to stop flinching at the gunshot after the third hour. Then she had become numb. The sound just went straight through her, no damage. By the fifth hour the anger set in once more. By fifth hour she was ready to murder someone. A freshman stood in front of her locker chatting aimlessly with another student and Quinn lowered her stare. The girl shivered and side stepped out of her way. At least that's something, she thought. She roughly shoved her books into her locker and as she removed her necessary equipment, two people edged towards her. They had taken note of her change in manner and had decided to approach with caution. Quinn looked up with an annoyed huff but her lips quirked at her peers. They returned it and breathed their own sighs, theirs being in relief.

"We were wondering if you'd like to walk with us to Calc."

Tina shot her a hesitant smile but Mike's was wide and genuine. Quinn couldn't help but return one. She could never help herself when it came to him. Mike had been a silent reassuring force throughout her mangled childhood after he had moved to the area when he was 5. His father had taken her to school all the times that her mother was passed out or her father was 'away on business'. His mother had fed her after she had snuck out from her house despite being grounded for meagre reasons. His younger brother had a crush on her and his older sister had seen her as her own disciple before she had gone away to Dartmouth. They all walked in step with each other as Mike began to talk excitedly about a new game he had bought.

A student walked towards them and then practically straight through Quinn. She stumbled before spinning on her foot towards the boy. Her lip curled and her eyes flashed with anger.

"Watch where you're fucking going."

"Why? Berry's not here to protect you." He lifted one hand with his fingers curled into his palm and his thumb and index finger extended in a gun shape. He jerked it upwards quickly before laughing and walking away. It felt as if an elephant was on Quinn's chest whilst it was trying desperately to expand and explode. Her pulse was in her ears and her head felt light.

Two sets of strong hands grabbed the boy by his shirt and shoved him abruptly into the lockers. Mike and Tina led Quinn away from the scene and tried to get her to breath rather than gasping sharply.

The boy let out a yelp as he was pulled from the locker and then shoved backwards again. Santana leaned in close.

"What IT class are you in?"

"W-w-w-what?" The boy stammered.

"Answer her." Finn growled.

"Miss Copley's!" They let him drop to the ground and he clambered to his feet, running as fast as they'd take him.

"Another one down." Santana removed a piece of paper from her pocket and drew a straight line through his name.

"But we're no-where closer."

"We're closer than Schue, that's for sure."

Finn agreed with her and thrust his hands into his letterman. A group of juniors walked past them and his gaze followed them threateningly. They sped up and away. Finn and Santana went in the opposite direction and entered their next lesson

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><p>Mr Schue sat atop the piano and watched as each student walked in and placed their notepad beside him. The stack grew steadily until the last one came in. Quinn was out of breath and flustered as she quickly made her way into the room. Everyone talking quietly amongst themselves until the door flew open and she rushed in. She hastily gave Mr Schue an excuse for her lateness and went to her seat to go through her bag. Mercedes pointed out the cuts across her knuckles to Sam.<p>

"There's Rachel's as well. Be thankful that that's all there is; she wanted to do separate notebooks for genres and sub-genres." She chuckled. When she turned to go back to her seat she ignored the warm, adoring smiles from her friends.

"Well done everyone! I honestly wasn't sure you'd all succeed, but thankfully you've proven me wrong." Becky walked into the room and he handed the entire stack over. She gave him a note and then held out her hand expectantly. With a sigh and a quiet laugh he slipped a ten into her palm and she left. "Now the next phase of the lesson. Each of these song lyrics that you've written show a different side of you, a side you don't necessarily show to the rest of us. Now, to form a strong, cohesive unit; we need to know each other as well as ourselves. Becky is taking all of those notebooks and she, along with a few other students, is photocopying them for us. There will be two copies of each pad. I want you all to read each of them. Take turns, trade or read together, I don't mind."

The whole group suddenly felt nervous. They were under the impression that only Mr Schuester was to read them. Puck had put some Streisand in there, Santana had put some Michael Buble and, hell, Artie had put in some Barry Manilow. Quinn was suddenly very aware that practically her whole notebook was love songs. She considered jumping up and running from her seat. She'd grab her notebook and flee the school before burning it; making sure no-one would see that side of her. That is until she risked a glance at her peers and saw that they were as worried and scared as her. The look on their faces and how they matched hers caused her some comfort and she sat a little straighter in her seat.

The end of class swiftly approached,and Becky and a few other students traipsing into the room yanked her from her day-dreams. They gave the packs out, each person receiving two that weren't their own, and then left without a word apart from the "You're welcome" replied to every thanks given. Quinn looked down at the two in her hands. She had been graciously given Puck and Santana's, she already knew them both well enough to expect the songs that would make any other person confused. Quinn shot them both a smile and then someone caught her eye. Finn was holding one of the packs with a hesitant look on his face. He didn't know if he wanted to see what Quinn's other side was. They'd dated for some time, but she always had her walls up, what if he didn't want to see what was behind them?

Quinn swallowed and gave him a tight smile. She just didn't want to see his reaction to her entries. He wasn't so dumb as to not know who they were directed at. Mr Schue called the end of lesson and as she left he handed two more packs to her.

"Wish her well, Miss Pillsbury, Principal Figgins and I will visit on Monday afternoon to discuss her return to school."

She nodded stiffly and left. Her mind wandered to that day and when it would come and if Rachel would react the same way she had. She shivered at the thought and then decided that if she were to, then she'd be there to help her through it. Quinn passed Coach Sylvester but she was called back to the woman.

Santana slammed her locker shut and a flash of blonde in the corner of her eye made her turn. She was about to turn to call out Brittany's name until she saw Quinn's distinct features. Coach Sylvester held a rigid posture, as usual, but reached out a hand and rested it on the blonde's shoulder. She patted it and then turned away. Quinn calmly strode over to her highly confused and slightly flustered friend.

"Was that a sympathetic shoulder pat? Did you get a sympathetic shoulder pat?" Quinn just stared at her, silent. "I want a sympathetic shoulder pat! I've never seen her give anyone-"

"A sympathetic shoulder pat?"

Santana nodded, still reeling from the sight of a marginally compassionate coach rather than the steely, cold-hearted bitch that she was known to be.

"Have your enemy get shot right in front of you, nearly breakdown in the hospital, and then become best-friends with your enemy before breaking down in school. That's a sure-fire way to get a sympathetic shoulder pat. Or you could just go to Brittany; she'd give you much more for much less."

With a grin at each other they linked arms and walked the halls. After the tension the year before, they had decided to put everything behind them. It didn't hurt that Quinn had decided to appoint her as co-head cheerleader. Granted, that only meant she had to put the equipment away and formulate routines, but she had much more power and she could always force a baby cheerio to do the dirty work anyway. Brittany joined them before they slipped through the double doors and to the football field. They passed the parking lot and all stopped in their tracks to absorb the scene before them. After the day Quinn had been through, she just let it wash off of her with a sigh.

The silver of the hood of her car was tainted with red paint. A bullseye sat, spread across its entirety, with words laid out, bold on the black of her windscreen. "_It should have been you_." Brittany ushered her to the bleachers and Santana shot a text to Finn.

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><p>There was a soft knock and Rachel quickly threw down her pen, happy for the distraction. A hesitant Sam walked in and softly shut the door behind him. Rachel regarded him with a gentle gaze.<p>

"It's the middle of the day, shouldn't you be in school?"

He wrung his hands.

"Coach sent me for a check-up. She wants to make sure the whole team are fit for the game next week."

Rachel nodded. "It's a derby, right?"

"Yeah, against Spencerville." He paused and looked up. "Will you be there?"

"Should be." She told him cheerily. "I get out next Wednesday, but that's not why you came, is it?" He shook his head in reply. Rachel could see him trying to formulate the words in his head and waited patiently.

"I don't want you to…take offense. I just…I just… You're a diva." Rachel raised an eyebrow. "No, I mean…you're a diva-"

"This is not helping your case."

"-and Mercedes is too!" She couldn't help but laugh at the flustered boy which only worsened his condition. "What I mean to say is; we've been together for a while. A long while, and… well, I love her. But it's her birthday soon and I want it to be special."

"So you want the advice of a fellow diva?" He nodded sheepishly.

"Well I asked Quinn but she said to ask Kurt but I knew that the moment I say anything it'll go straight to 'Cedes. She said that apart from herself, you knew her best next."

"Why didn't Quinn help?"

"She said that I should do extravagant, and whilst she is understated, you're extravagant." Rachel could only smile at the thought.

"What about performing in Glee?"

"I want to do more though."

Rachel tapped her chin and thought about her friend, about whom she was and what she liked.

"No-one in school knows, do they?" He shook his head, no. "Do you want them to know?" Sam nodded. "There we go then. There's your extravagant."

She pulled her notepad towards her and flipped the page of History notes away from her.

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><p><strong>(An I'll try my darnedest to post my next update on time, but it all depends on me finding an internet connection.**

**Review?**

**Until next time, you wonderful people. Thanks for reading.)**


	12. Chapter 12

**(A/n So the schedule is now updates on Monday or Sunday depending on when I've completed it and have had it beta-ed. If it's done early it'll be Sunday. If procrastination takes over, Monday :) **

**I don't know if I could put into words what some of your reviews make me feel… but if you've seen AVPM, and you've seen Voldemort's tap dance, that is it exactly. With extra jazz hands.**

**Oh, and riverkirby, your reviews never fail to make me laugh. Thought I should tell you.**

**Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin. Is thank you ever going to be enough? No. I'll answer that right now. No, it won't be.**

**Previously: **_"No-one in school knows, do they?" He shook his head, no. "Do you want them to know?" Sam nodded. "There we go then. There's your extravagant."_

_Rachel pulled the notepad towards her and flipped the page of History notes away from her._**)**

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><p>They made multiple lists, cross referenced them with each other and then again with both his and Mercedes' timetables; he had both memorised.<p>

"We just need a few quick calculations for size and then cost. Could you pass my other pad please?" Her eyes were trained on the page as she gesticulated in the general direction of her scattered schoolwork. Sam picked up the one with the black cover and flicked it open to find a blank page. Rachel looked up impatiently when it wasn't presented to her and saw Sam look up with a grin.

"I never knew she was this good." He mused.

"But surely…" Rachel trailed off and eyed the blonde in front of her. He meticulously scoured each drawing with his eyes, and his mouth twitched and opened every now and then with a silent gasp of awe.

"She didn't want to show me." Rachel was shocked and humbled at the submission. She saw how nervous Quinn had been when handing over the collection and now the gravity of the moment hit her, hard. Sam carefully placed it from where it had been taken and grabbed another.

"So what's going on with you two?" Rachel's pen froze in its motion.

"W-what?"

"I know my Lor Menari; I know that look she gives you. It's the look she gave me but with so much more." A blush arose on her cheeks and the hazel eyes appeared in her mind causing her heart to thump and her palms to sweat. "So?"

Rachel bit her lip and debated claiming the fifth, but she hadn't been able to gush to anyone about the whole thing and by God was she brimming with it all.

"I…we…kissed." She breathed out. Sam saw the utter happiness in her face and felt it fill the room. It was a stark contrast to the stifling anxiety that the room had held in the days after the shooting.

"Fireworks?"

Rachel shook her head slowly.

"No-where near. Atomic bomb. It was Hiroshima 2.0 followed by multiple Nagasaki's."

The image of it alone made him burst into laughter and he cocked an eyebrow at the analogy. Rachel just pointed to her abandoned History homework and shrugged, a grin teasing her lips as well.

"You do realise that you just basically called yourself a cockroach, right?" his grin turned mischievous.

"Samuel Evans, I am not a cockroach and I said no such thing! How on earth did you come to such a conclusion?"

"Well, the only thing that can survive an atomic blast is a cockroach."

Rachel gaped at him.

"Don't worry, your disguise is impeccable, Roach-el." He laughed.

"Well I'd rather be a cockroach than a smurf. I can withstand atomic bombs. What can your people do?"

Sam's face fell into a frown but the amusement still shone in his eyes.

"A.) They're Na'vi, not Smurfs." He scoffed at the notion."B.) We're much better than cockroaches. We have bones re-enforced with carbon fibre, we are like 9 feet tall and, oh yeah, we have tails. End of conversation."

"At least I don't have intercourse with a blue dragon using my hair."

"It's not… urgh!" He shook his head in feigned frustration and then checked his watch. "I'd better get back; I still have to go to the last two lessons." He walked to the door and turned back, lifting the papers detailing their plan aloft. "Thanks Roach-el."

Rachel laughed at him before she turned serious.

"No, thank you."

He lifted his trouser leg to show the edge of his trainer socks where a black point peeked out, a part of the star that encircled his ankle.

"We've got you, Rach."

He left but she heard him bump into someone and rush out a hasty apology. She found herself liking the jock much more but decided that next time he was here; she, Kurt and Quinn needed to have the much belated conversation about his intentions.

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><p>A heavy weight slammed down across her blanket covered legs with a deep sigh. Rachel cracked open an eye lazily to see what had woken her. A mass of red and white hung over either side of the bed, pressing down on her shins. She shifted her legs under the mass and the large mass giggled slightly and shifted. Quinn lifted her head and turned towards her.<p>

"Rough day?" Rachel saw Quinn's eyes drop and then look everywhere but Rachel's own.

"Umm… I'll tell you about it one of these days." The brunette opened her mouth to question the vague and overall confusing answer that Quinn gave but the cheerleader averted her attention, something she was becoming incredibly good at. "Sam said that you wanted to be a cockroach next Halloween. Confirm or deny." She smirked.

Rachel huffed and slumped in the bed.

"Stupid smurf."

"I think they're called Na'vi, Rach."

"Not you too!"

"Not me what?" Quinn had spun in her position so that she was on top of Rachel and she had elbows placed either side of her knees with her chin rested on her closed fists. Rachel had widened her legs slightly so that she could fit snugly between them and Quinn's were raised in the air, swaying back and forth. "I'm just using correct terminology; I thought you'd appreciate that."

Rachel ignored her smile and stuck a lip out in a pout.

"Yeah, well, cockroaches are very multifunctional. Smurfs have sex with blue dragons."

"They're actually called lesser leono-… you don't care, do you." Rachel shook her and tried hard to withhold her smirk. Quinn dropped her head to the knee to her left and the curvature fit into the bridge of her nose. Rachel slipped her hand into her blonde locks and they glided through her fingers. She wrapped a tendril around her right index finger and tugged ever so gently. Quinn lifted her head, her chin resting on her leg. Rachel tugged it again, but with slightly more force, and jerked her head upwards. Quinn smirked as realization hit and she began to crawl up the bed. When she was at her desired position, with her knees firmly planted between Rachel's legs and her hands beside her waist, she leant forward and brushed their noses.

"Only 5 more days." The husky voice washed over her and Rachel bit her lower lip in anticipation. The action caught Quinn's eye and she swiped her tongue across her own. This in turn caught Rachel's and they stared at each other for a while, wondering if this would have happened without the… confrontation… in the hallway.

Rachel tilted her head forward and connected her lips with Quinn. Her heart soared as their lips moved together. She lifted her hand to seize blonde hair again and Quinn nipped and kissed, letting the anxiety and frustration of the day evaporate. Rachel slid her tongue against hers and let out a small moan when Quinn sucked on it. Her hand clenched harder as need for each other grew stronger and took over; Quinn let her body slowly drop down onto the one beneath her. The motion of the kiss made her body rock slightly over Rachel, up and down, slowly creating friction between their hips and quickly increasing their heart rates. They part to only connect again with more passion. Rachel held Quinn's lip between her teeth and tugged sharply making the blonde emit a sharp gasp. Taking advantage of the moment, Rachel took over and thrust her tongue into the awaiting mouth. They both needed air, and soon, but the firmly clenched hands in hair and on hips would not let them split. Whimpers and moans encompassed them, sending more fuel to the fire that burned within them.

"My eyes! Santa Madre de Dios! They burn!" Santana clutched at the wall and door, crying out. In a moment of quick thinking, Brittany grabbed a water bottle and threw the contents in the exclaiming girl's face. Her hands dropped immediately as the water dripped down her face and through her clothing.

Quinn sat back on her knees and held one arm across her ribs and the other over her mouth, desperate to not laugh and face the wrath that would come with it. Rachel, however, deemed that laughing was worth getting maimed over and she buckled forward with laughter.

"I'd rip your little midget arms of if you didn't just win me fifty bucks." The laughter stopped and two sets of eyes narrowed.

"What?" Quinn growled out.

"It's about time too! Another few days and I'd have lost."

Quinn lunged from the bed but Santana was long gone out of the door. Wrenching it open, Quinn stalked down her prey. Brittany and Rachel looked at each other, smiled, and shrugged. She sat down beside the bed and pulled out a Math book.

"I think the teachers are getting confused, pie is in Home Ec., not Math."

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><p>Brittany dragged Santana out by the arm after her homework was done, begging the brunette to take her to the duck pond before they went home, as if she would have said no. The moment the door closed Quinn fell on top of Rachel's legs, de ja vu all over again. She moved up her body once more to claim her lips, but stopped short when she met those deep brown orbs.<p>

"I was wondering…" She got lost in the gaze for a moment before she lowered her head. Rachel looked at Quinn and saw something she hadn't before, the girl was being… shy? "It's all knew to me. _This._" She gestured between them. "But… what I was wondering was… well…"

"Spit it out, Fabray."

"Don't ruin the moment, Berry." She smiled and Rachel joined her, her intention achieved. Quinn looked slightly less nervous at the familiarity Rachel had thrown in and she no longer felt like she was flailing. "Would you consider… being… well… mine?"

"Yours?"

"I know that that's a pretty primal way of putting it, but I'm yours. I'm all yours, and I was wondering if you could be… mine."

"You're… mine?" Quinn nodded emphatically. "Well, I didn't realize we were objects to be traded off at will, to be honest."

"No- I didn't mean it like that I meant, y'know…"

"I obviously don't."

"You do!"

"Quinn." She took the girl's chin in her palm and lifted her head. "I was yours long before you even knew." Quinn grinned and her eyes sparkled with that extra something that made Rachel's heart jump. Fingers slid together and Quinn lightly kissed the gauze and her shoulder then her lips.

A knock on the door broke their reverie and Quinn slid off of Rachel to answer it. She immediately slammed it shut.

"That's becoming a bad habit." The bed-ridden teenager smiled. Quinn didn't look up; she just opened the door and let the person enter.

She entered hesitantly with their eyes locked on Quinn for reaction, wide and nervous. Casey's hands fumbled as they wrung together and she stopped at the foot of the bed. Not one of the three spoke.

"I came by... a few times, but I couldn't come in." Her voice was small, almost as if something had trodden over it. In a way, something had.

"When?"

"Almost every day this last week and a half. I was gonna come in earlier, but you had company." Rachel thought hard over her stay in the hospital and remembered Sam's run in with someone earlier.

"You should have come in."

"I shouldn't of at all."

"You're right you shouldn't have." Quinn's voice was like steel and her eyes matched. It was nothing Rachel had seen on her, worse than with Finn.

"Quinn-"

"I don't know who she is to you, but-"

"Exactly, you don't know, so shut up."

"Case,"

"Rach," Quinn protested at the caring voice her girlfriend put on.

"Quinn." Rachel was stern now.

"What! You want me to leave?" Rachel fell silent. "You… you seriously want me to leave?" There was still no response. "Rach…"

"She wants you to leave, _Fabray._"

"Shut up before I return that slap, _Collins_."

"Case, you slapped her? God…"

"If you want me to leave, tell me, Rach. Because I don't want to leave you with _her._"

She pleaded with her eyes, her hazels laced with fear of rejection. It was something she had grown used to over the years. Finn chose Rachel, Puck chose Zizes, Sam chose Santana, her Father chose his image, and her mother chose her Father. She had always tried to stay one ahead of rejection but it always pulled her two steps back.

"I need to speak with her, alone, Quinn. I'm sorry.

Quinn's eyes filled with tears she swore not to shed. She backed out of the room and shut the door to cover the brunette's soft protests. The wounds that every rejection had created had healed, but this one felt like all of them torn open with salt poured on. Rachel chose Casey.

But Rachel was hers, she had told her so. Rachel was hers.

So why did she feel like she was slipping through her fingers?

Her phone buzzed with a text message and she slid her finger across the screen to open it with a trembling hand.

**At the Berry's for Q&A. Casey is Rachel's ex/maybe something more. The Dad's are a bit fuzzy on details, but these pics speak for themselves. Sending you one now. – K**

Her phone buzzed again and she opened the message. They were under a tree of some sort and practically wrapped around each other. Rachel was beaming at the camera her friend held aloft but Casey's eyes were for Rachel only. They shone with unspoken devotion and Quinn's stomach dropped. Her hand grasped the cold metal door handle ready to storm in and claim Rachel as hers, but she let it drop. Whilst Rachel would appreciate the dramatics and the sentiment, she would be pissed at her for not following a simple request.

Quinn held the star in her finger tips but for the first time whilst holding it, she felt lost.

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><p><strong>(An Next chapter includes some Fabang, some Quick, and just a bit more drama… just a tad. Okay, I lied. There's more than a tad. A dash, a smidgen, a morsel... okay, there's a giant dollop of drama. **

**Thanks for reading, it always surprises me just how many of you there are. I'm no FerryBerry or DylanHart, so I'm not always sure why you're here, but I love you all endlessly.**

**Review it?)**


	13. Chapter 13

**(A/n So I promised Fabang, Quick and drama, and I actually delivered for once! And it's a Sunday update! I'm back from New York and onto holiday no. 2 :) At least this time I won't have two 3 year olds waking me up serenading/singing 'Single Ladies' at 8am, just an equally adorable/irritating 9 year old to room with.**

**I've added something I haven't attempted to write yet in this chapter; some Russell. I dunno if this'll be a recurring thing, but I really enjoyed adding him in. (And he's not the drama btw)**

**Gracias Caitlin and the same to you guys!**

**Previously: **_Quinn held the star in her finger tips but for the first time whilst holding it, she felt lost._**)**

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><p>Quinn bypassed her car in the parking lot. She supposed that driving in her state of mind would never be a good idea, and that being a pretzel wrapped around a tree wasn't in the 5 year plan Rachel had cooked up for her. Her feet pattered a rhythm against the concrete that matched each inhale and exhale. The air had a chill to it that made her huddle a little bit more into her letterman and had her breath forming clouds around her; leaving a trail behind her like a steam train.<p>

She winced as the memories of the journeys with her father to the steam train shows in the summers of her youth. It was single day each summer, only six hours with the metallic beasts, but it was magical. Russell would lift her onto his shoulders and bounce with each heavy steps, making train noises as they went. Once at the biggest train of the show, he'd put her on her feet and kneel at her level; making the mammoth train seem even larger.

"Life's like a train, Quinnie," He would say each time, "There are so many intricate parts that need to fit and work together to make it run correctly. If you use the wrong part, it doesn't work. You've got to do it all right and then you can get to your destination." He'd turn his head to his daughter and held her awestruck gaze. "You have to do everything right in life to get to your destination; Heaven. You go to church, go to school and then university when you graduate with top grades. Then you meet a young man and get married, and then you give him a family. You are to live the life God wants of you with this man."

What would her father think of her life now? And more importantly, did she care? His voice seeped into her head every now and then out of sheer habit. "_Don't do that Quinn, it won't look good on your résumé; take that elective instead._" "_Why aren't you Head Cheerio? Are you trying to disappoint this family?_" Or the worst was always; "_If only you were more like your sister._" It had been over a year since she had heard the words from his own mouth, but they still plagued her like a second conscience. And now she had a third conscience to add onto that, "_Don't worry about those looks, you look beautiful_." "_You will get out of Lima, just follow your heart and it'll lead you far away._" "_You don't need to do that, be the bigger person._" It was Rachel, and her voice was quickly smothering Russell's until 20 minutes ago when his voice came pounding through. "_I said that you were to marry a young man to get to Heaven. This is disgusting Quinn. No wonder she prefers someone else. Fabrays weren't born to be fags_."

Her feet took her to a familiar door and she didn't even need to knock. The mahogany door swung wide open to reveal a short Asian woman drying her hands with a towel. She took one look at her face a jerked her head to the kitchen.

"You're just in time for dinner." With a toothy grin she hugged Quinn and embraced her with the warmth and sense of home that her family brought. "Mike has another of your friends over, you might know him. They've been talking non-stop about some electronic game." She shook her head with mirth and curled an arm around Quinn's waist. Joanne was a good foot shorter than the blonde and her jet black hair stood a stark contrast from her flaxen hair. With soft features and warm eyes, she was the mother Quinn had always wanted. Her hold brought comfort and she always had sage advice.

She was steered into the large kitchen/dining room and forced into a seat.

"Hey babe!" Puck called out around a mouthful of noodles. "You gotta try this!"

Mike lifted his head and, just like his mother, knew that once she had a good meal down her and was a bit sleepy, she'd be much more willing to talk. He dished her out a bowl and slid it into her awaiting place. The snap of the chopsticks hitting together made Puck look up as Quinn devoured the entire bowl, leaving no drop, with skill. She dished herself out some rice and various dim sum before devouring them in the same speed. Not a grain of rice was left as Quinn ran her tongue along the end of the chopsticks.

"How'd you do that so fast?"

Quinn shrugged. "Practice, I suppose. I'm here enough."

Puck shook his head in disbelief. "I never knew." He muttered under his breath in shock. The two in question shared a look.

"To the bat-cave?" Mike asked with a wide grin on his face.

"Let's, Robin. May we be excused?"

Joanne laughed at their not so secret code and raised a hand towards the stairs. Puck went to follow but she placed a hand on his shoulder firmly.

"You need to finish before you leave the table, young man. I want every drip of that gone." Puck looked at the thirds that he had just loaded his plate with and groaned.

Quinn and Mike walked upstairs and into his bedroom. They moved toward an ancient wardrobe on the far wall and yanked open the doors. The back had been removed to leave the wall showing as well as the door that sat there. After closing the closet doors behind them they entered their 'bat-cave'. It was a corner room that was only accessible through Mike's room. It had been used for storage when they first moved in, but after months of begging and puppy dog eyes, his parents had helped them form their own bat-cave with a Narnian entrance. The walls were covered in posters of superheroes, vigilantes, villains, and vixens. There was a small patch of princess posters in one corner of the room from when Quinn had liked them, but Mike and his siblings had soon got her to see the light. At some point over the years, one of them had gotten a marker pen and doodled a mask, cape and superhero suit over the taffeta, forming a corrupted princess posing as a cut rate superhero. There was a TV in one corner that had been donated by Sarah, his sister, before she went to University. Connected to it were several old consoles as well as a couple of newer ones. A decrepit couch formed the centrepiece of the room. They had managed to get through three bottles of Febreze to rid it of the stench and despite multiple washes; it still maintained the brown discolouring. The wall that didn't hold the door or windows was stacked all the way along with boxes of comic books and graphic novels, all categorized and in alphabetical order.

The pair quickly took their seats on the weathered sofa and switched on the games console.

When the comforting sound of 8 bit Mario erupted from the TV, intermittent with crackling from the aged speakers, Quinn told her friend of everything that happened. It seemed like the hundredth time telling the story when it had only been a handful of times.

"-and then I walked out. Before I knew it, I was here." She finished in time with her character jumping onto the flagpole. "Argh!" She picked the heap of tortilla chips out of her hair after Mike threw the bag at her.

"You're a moron."

"Wait, what? Are you serious? Did you not hear the whole kicking out bit?"

Mike nodded. "Yeah, I heard every bit. Don't you think you're over-reacting?" She looked at him blankly.

"I gotta agree with Chang here." Puck said as he stumbled into the secret room. "You heard what she said to you, you're together. She wouldn't say that then chuck it all away."

"You heard everything?"

"Thin walls." He shrugged. "Did Hummel tell you anything else about this Casey chick?"

Quinn sadly shook her head; Kurt had been MIA since his last text. But maybe he'd found something out from Rachel's dads, maybe he found out who she was. Quinn took her phone from her pocket and found his contact information.

"Who is she? Please put me out of my misery, Kurt" She heard him sigh heavily on the end of the line.

"She's her ex-best friend; they met after she was slushied at school for the first time. They were friends for about a year until Rachel came home crying, she never spoke about her again."

"Just best friends?"

"Her dads said that there was always something weird about their relationship, that there was something beneath the surface that Rachel didn't want to talk about."

"Nothing else?"

"I didn't want to seem too suspicious!"

"Well, you're like a fabulous gay Sherlock Holmes, thanks." She hung up and flung the phone on the couch next to her. The two boys looked at her, having heard the whole conversation on speakerphone, and then shifted seats so that she was between them. Mike rested his arm across her shoulder and Puck placed his hand on her knee.

"You need to find out. It's been like, 2 hours. Go and ask Rachel about her."

"I don't see why you didn't do it earlier, really. I would've asked after she slapped me." Puck tagged on. "And not that this helps your case, but she's totally not straight."

Two glares settled on him.

"This would've been fantastic information much sooner."

"I forgot! Look, I hit on her ages ago. She had a rockin' bod and had a sexy rock star thing going for her, but she kept telling me that I wasn't her type. I kept tryin', but then I caught her checking out Santana's ass, and I dropped it."

Quinn flung herself off of the couch. "She's gay! Urgh! Now I have to contend with history _and_ experience!"

"Last I checked, you weren't contending. You were sitting at your friend's house eating noodles, playing Mario and complaining about how you were going to lose your girlfriend. You never started fighting; there was no fight to lose."

"What are you saying?"

"What Chang's sayin' is you gotta fight for your girl!"

"I gotta… I've got to fight." She stated plainly. "I've got to... I've got to go."

Puck whooped as she ran through the cupboard and down the stairs.

"Where are you going, little girl?" Quinn skidded to a stop and began to wriggle her feet into her sneakers.

"I've got to fight for my girlfriend." Joanne nodded and walked over to her. She removed her letterman jacket from the filled up coat pegs and handed it over. Then, reaching out a small hand, she slapped Quinn upside the head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"For being a moron. These walls are thin, why on earth did you think that I'd leave you alone in a secret room with a hormone ravaged boy? I had my ways of keeping my eyes and ears on you."

"Wait a minute, so you saw…"

Joanne raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. "I'm glad it was my boy and not that Puck character. You wouldn't have wanted mono from your first kiss. Now get your girl." Quinn smiled whilst furrowing her brow at the odd sentiment and then rushed out of the door.

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><p>Quinn held her breath. Surely she hadn't heard <em>that<em>. She hadn't heard _those_ words. She felt as if she were in the hallway on her first day back at school. Her head thumped as she struggled to take in oxygen Quinn replayed the moment, hoping against all odds that there had been some kind of error.

"Casey, I don't know what you want me to say. I won't placate you or lead you on any longer. You think you want that, but you don't."

"I've been miserable without you as my friend."

"It's not been a barrel of laughs for me either, there was no-one for me. No-one! But you still had all of your friends, you were my only one and _you_ took that away from me. You say you want to be friends again, but how long until you want more than that, hmm?"

Quinn had been standing outside of Rachel's door when she had heard the voices. She had expected Mike to be right, and that Casey would have been gone, but her voice was instantly recognizable through the door.

"I can't help it, have you met yourself?" Her joke fell flat and she heard Rachel sigh. "I'll just have you as a friend. That's all I need, just you."

"Stop lying to yourself. What about when I go to my best friend about my girlfr- see! You can't even hear me say it without flinching!"

"Rach…please."

"Please what?" Her voice was strained and Quinn could hear the tears brimming in her voice. It was late and the only thing keeping the blonde awake was the adrenaline and fear pumping through her veins.

"Please tell me that you love me too."

Quinn stopped breathing.

"I…I…" Rachel was wholly unprepared for _that_.

Taking her chance, Quinn tightened her hold on the door handle and pushed into the room with a calm step. Her father's voice appeared in her head, but this time it agreed with her other consciences. "_Stay calm._" Russell said. "_She's with you, Quinnie. Fabrays don't give up; you fight this one to the death_." "_Well, maybe to the death is a bit of an exaggeration, but I readily agree_." The Rachel in her head told her. The real Rachel looked like a deer in the headlights. "_C'mon Quinnie_."

"We were talking, Fabray." The meekness from her voice left and she raised her chin in defiance.

"You were, now you aren't." Quinn pulled out her HBIC persona and gave her trademark cold look.

"Quinn…"

"You've kicked me out once today, Rachel, and I left. I won't leave you again."

"Then I'll kick you out."

"Case."

The two girls stood at the end of the bed, the air practically crackling around them, and they turned to Rachel. Time practically stopped for a moment.

"Choose." Casey muttered. "Choose one of us."

Rachel looked between them. The best friend or the girlfriend.

"Please Rach, think of what she's done to you. She's _tortured_ you. _I_ was there to clean you up every time. Remember when you had to go to the doctors because the corn syrup was damaging your retinas? Remember having to hide your stained clothes when you got home so your dads wouldn't see? This is what she's done to you. She'll just do it again." Casey pleaded.

Rachel looked at her. Her eyes were begging with the brunette and a tear streaked down. She then turned to Quinn and she saw the fiery gaze in her eyes. But Rachel knew her better, and she knew what was hidden behind the flames.

"Quinn. It's always going to be Quinn. I'm so sorry-" Casey stormed to the door. She stopped and stalked back up to Quinn, a mere inch from her face. Lifting a hand, she jabbed a finger into her chest.

"It should have been _you_." She stormed out.

The words burned in her mind. It should have been you. It should have been you. It should have been… bullseye. Literally. Quinn moved to leave, but went to Rachel's side. She grabbed her face between two palms and set a scorching kiss upon her. Rachel went to tangle a hand in her tresses, but Quinn was gone, moving quickly out of the room.

"Quinn, just leave it! Please!" Quinn didn't listen.

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><p><strong>(An Dramatic enough? I know this is angsty, but hang in there guys; fluff will be intermittent with it.**

**Thoughts? Reviews?**

**As usual, thanks for reading everyone!)**


	14. Chapter 14

**(A/n Good morning! Or afternoon depending on where you are in the world. I hope you're all doing grand :)**

**The song in this chapter is Song for Lovers by Ellery. I highly suggest you give it a wee listen.**

**Thank you all for your lovely reviews, and grazie mille Caitlin! (I'm working through the languages ;P )**

**Previously: **_The words burned in her mind. It should have been you. It should have been you. It should have been… bullseye. Literally. Quinn moved to leave, but went to Rachel's side. She grabbed her face between two palms and set a scorching kiss upon her. Rachel went to tangle a hand in her tresses, but Quinn was gone, moving quickly out of the room._

"_Quinn, just leave it! Please!" Quinn didn't listen._**)**

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><p>Quinn raced down the hall until she was met with the cold metal face of the elevator. After glancing up she realised that Casey was on her way down already. Rushing to the stairs, she threw herself down them at an extraordinary speed, gripping onto the banister and flinging herself around the corners. When she got closer to the basement she was jumping the last two steps of each set and panting heavily. Finally a large 'B' was painted on the concrete wall and she tore the door, almost from its hinges, open. She struggled to regulate her breathing as the light above the elevator doors hit her floor. With a sudden idea, she ran quickly back into the stairwell and stood on her toes to peek out of the dingy circular window. Casey strode out of the lift, shaking presumably with either anger or tears. Quinn exited to stand right in the girl's path causing her to almost walk into her.<p>

"Shit! I'm sorry, I- _Fabray._" She growled. "You _won._ Okay? There you go, now get the fuck out of my way."

"I'm not here to rub it in Collins; I'm here to make it clear."

"Fuck off." She went to twist around Quinn but she just moved into her new path of direction.

"_Leave. Me. Alone._"

"Firstly, I'm sending you the bill to my car cleaning." Casey opened her mouth to deny it but Quinn cut her off. "You try and dispute it and I'll get the CCTV. Secondly," She reached her clenched fist back and Casey cried out as it connected with her jaw. She trembled on the floor and clutched at her face, the swelling already starting to form. Quinn clenched and unclenched her fist, trying to rid herself of the pain inconspicuously. She had her hand checked out after what happened in the waiting room a week ago, but a week wasn't long enough for her bruised knuckles to heal properly. The loud cracking of her joints was a bit disconcerting as well. "You stay away from my girlfriend." Casey scrambled to her feet and went to grab at Quinn's Cheerio jersey, but the blonde side stepped her and pushed her into the wall. "I don't care that you love her, nor do I care about what you think you had. Until Rachel feels comfortable with it, you won't even look at her, kapische?"

"She may not realise it, but she loves me too. Just wait until she leaves you. You're just her second choice." It was something Quinn had spent a lot of her walk between Mike's and the hospital thinking about, and it had become one of her greatest fears when it had occurred to her. But it was Rachel's words that had quelled it, and stoked another fire within her.

"What is it that everyone says? If you love her, let her go? Shouldn't you want her to be happy? It may suck to admit it, but I make her happy. Or I'll spend every moment trying."

"_Until_ you have a gay panic and run off. Tell me, what do your parents think of this development, hmm? What about your strict Catholic family? Been to see your priest lately?" Quinn flinched at the thought of the multiple reactions, but what was the worst they could do? Kick her out? She hadn't lived in that soul sucking hell hole in over a year and Mercedes would embrace it. She'd also embrace the $30 won from Santana when she let her know that they weren't 'shacking up', as Santana so kindly put it, before the… altercation in the hall. And her priest? She was glad to see the back of him. Mercedes' church was what religion was supposed to be, not the strictness of Father Jonathan. Quinn saw Casey's smirk, she obviously thought that she had hit a nerve of some sort, but Quinn smirked back.

"Rachel is my family. Santana and Puck. Mike. Glee is my family."

"Will they forgive you when you break their precious star?"

"No, probably not, but thankfully I don't have plans to run anytime soon."

"Just wait, Fabray. Wait until the Catholic guilt washes over you. We both know it'll happen, and then you'll abandon her."

"Just like she left you?" Casey fell silent. "She never left you. You pushed her away and abandoned her because she didn't love you back."

Quinn thought for a moment about returning the slap that had started this all, but the look on the stricken girl's face made it seem like she already had. Her mouth hung slightly open and tears were beginning in the corners of her eyes.

"She was supposed to be mine." Her voice was almost smothered by approaching sirens.

"She isn't either of ours. She's going to be bigger and better than both of us, I can say she's mine as much as I want, but it'll never be true. She's her own."

"No." It broke. Her voice broke and quivered.

"You need to find your own Rachel, because if you try to keep fighting me for her, you'll lose every time. I'm sorry Casey."

With a clench of her aching fist and a sharp nod, Quinn walked back to the elevator and pressed the worn buttons. She caught a sight of Casey as the doors shut; she was in exactly the same position that she'd been left in. The lift whirred and shuddered to a stop to let various doctors and important people in. Light music flowed from the small speaker in the corner and chatter from the workers filled the small space. Quinn looked catatonic. When the door opened for the fifth time, it seemed to stop at every floor; a familiar face stepped in and took a place at her side. He tried to make small talk with her, but she remained stock still. She didn't register the hand shaking in front of her face or the gasp he emitted when he carefully took her hand in his. The elevator dinged and she left. Her sneakers squeaked on the linoleum and she felt like a broken record. The same path walked every day. The same story explained to those who wanted to know. The same walls. The same smell of death and disease. The same doors. The same door handle. The same quiet whine given from the hinges. The same tattered seat next to the bed. The same stunning brunette sitting amongst the linens; soft, warm, and comforting. The same girl that held her heart in a vice. She was a broken record with a beautiful climax that made you long for it to play again. The finale that made it okay to suffer through everything else, because it was so heart-breakingly beautiful.

Quinn walked the steps she was so accustomed to and stopped at the bed. Rachel was fast asleep with a crease of worry on her forehead, so the blonde shucked off her uniform and slid on some sweats and a tank-top. The final notes of her broken record sung out and she curled into her girlfriend's side.

"I love you."

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><p>Quinn awoke with a start. Her breathing was heavy and her blood rushed through her veins. The tips of her fingers burned, her muscles were tense and there was a familiar ache in the pit of her stomach. Rachel shifted in her sleep and brushed an arm over her chest; she forced herself to stifle her moan as she kept fidgeting and kept rubbing across her. Cautiously, she lifted Rachel from across her torso and altered them so that Rachel was encased in her arms. She lay on her right side with Quinn draped carefully around her.<p>

Rachel let out a whimper in her sleep and a pained gasp. Leaping immediately into action, Quinn rubbed soothing circles across her abdomen and brushed her lips behind her ear. When Rachel's muscles tensed, Quinn knew what was imminent. The night terrors had stayed as brutal as they were that first night, but she had discovered a secret elixir for her pain.

_Nights like this were meant for lovers, that's how they begin.  
>Whisper soft like angel songs, that are drifting on the wind.<br>But it only takes a word to make you shudder in your soul._

Her fist grasped at air, and Quinn filled it with her hand. Rachel's knuckles turned white as another shot of pain tore through her.

'_Cause I can't live without you, oh I know I've made a mess  
>I cursed and cried about you, I could not have meant it less.<br>I could not have meant it less._

Toes curled and kicked at the torture she was suffering. It was like her subconscious was against her, cut and slicing at her body.

_Oh, but I can't help hoping good will come,  
>Though I can't tell you how.<em>

A strangled cry was ripped from her throat and her body spasmed again. Quinn encircled her arms tighter around her waist and moved her mouth closer to her ear, whispering the song still, but slightly softer; singing to subdue her.

_I'm no good at this. It's like the story of my life.  
>I keep pounding fists against the one sure thing of mine.<br>You're the one sure thing of mine._

Her breathing deepened once more as Quinn's raced. She kept tracing soft, slow circles on her stomach and washed her hot breath over the back of her neck. Quinn thought back to her earlier confession as she burrowed her nose into her hairline, the smell of her invading her senses and firing up her pulse. How had she not noticed sooner? The brunette shifted once more in her sleep and under her breath, she uttered a single soft word.

"Quinn."

At last, she turned on her phone and checked the time. It was only an hour until she was due to wake up so she decided to spend it gazing over Rachel. She could see why Casey had fallen for her. It was as clear as day every time the brunette smiled, laughed or even looked at her. But she desperately needed to know what had happened between the two. She knew that Casey loved her, but how did that drive Rachel away? What had she said that had hurt her so?

Rachel wriggled in her sleep and said her name again in that breathy voice. Her eyes fluttered open and when she saw Quinn's arms, she snuggled in further and a grin split her face.

"This just might be my favourite way to wake up." Quinn leaned forward and placed soft kisses behind her ear, trailing along her neck until the top of spine, and then back to complete the circuit. "Okay, _that_ is. You've just ruined mornings for me." Quinn raised her head in confusion and Rachel sighed at the loss of her lips upon her skin. "My expectations for them are so high now, how can Daddy's pancakes ever live up to them?"

"I'll just have to do this every morning then, won't I?"

"You're such a smooth talker, Fabray."

"Well I try my best."

"Is that how you get all the ladies?"

"You should meet my women on the side; you're just a part of my harem, darlin'."

Rachel gasped. "And I thought I was special."

They kept a serious face until they both burst into giggles. Quinn pressed the curvature of her nose against the back of Rachel's head as they both fought for composure. Rachel fit her fingers through Quinn's and squeezed, all the while pressing back into her body. Quinn pressed back and wrapped her arms tighter; Rachel stopped laughing and took a sharp breath as she ran her lips along the outer shell of her ear; chuckling huskily along the way.

"I was wondering… if you could tell me about Casey." She asked, still retaining her low, gravelly voice, knowing that Rachel would even give her the signed poster of '_Hello Dolly!',_ that resided in pristine condition in her wardrobe, if she asked like that.

"That's a dirty trick, Fabray."

"I need to know, Rach." Her hoarse, sexy voice was gone and what remained was vulnerable and timid. Rachel could resist that even less.

"We met after you slushied me the first time." Quinn cringed at the memory, as she usually did, but let her carry on. "Her sister, Kate, helped me afterwards and introduced me to Casey. She was so nice… she was the second person to be nice to me at the school, her sister only moments before. She walked with me to my lesson, which we happened to share, and sat with me. She kept looking at me as if I were a puzzle. She'd get this little divot between her eyebrows and pursed her lips every time I said something other people wouldn't. I told her that the teaching methods of Mr. Matthews were archaic, and that he himself was the same and she laughed. She actually laughed, and found me funny. Not always in the way I wanted, though. She'd laugh when I'd get frustrated and stomp my foot, she thought I was adorable and she'd put her hand on my cheek when I was done ranting and then tell me that I was "So _cute._" Don't get me wrong, it's a nice sentiment, but when you're trying to argue with someone about the importance of strict regime in your academic career and the importance of enforced study timetables, cute isn't something you're going for." Quinn had to fight at the urge to chuckle at the image.

"We became good friends, but I kept getting slushied, so I told that we shouldn't speak at school, so that she wouldn't get it done to her. I should've known then that something had shifted in our relationship. She looked at me like… like… I was her saviour. I didn't realise it at the time, it was only in retrospect that it occurred to me. That was the beginning. Making our friendship a secret was like eating the forbidden fruit for her. She'd give these sly smiles at school and would sit behind me at lessons, a constant reminder that she was there for me. It was nice… at first. When we hung out, she'd be closer. More… tactile. Hugs, hands on my lower back if we walked into a shop or anything. Little touches. She had this weird view on things too. She saw love where there wasn't any, like in books and movies, and recited the quotes at the most inopportune times." Rachel paused. "Have you read '_The Great Gatsby_'?" Quinn nodded. "What can you tell me about Tom and Daisy's relationship?"

"It was broken? I dunno, she loved Gatsby and he was her second choice, but out of fear and a need for a high social standing, she chose to stay with Tom. She chose her image over love and that led to Gatsby's death." Quinn recited from her oral presentation that she'd written and memorised from the year before. "Why? She didn't beat you did she?" Quinn rose onto her palms, one behind Rachel's back and the other on the other side of her, so that she was hovering above her. Rachel turned onto her back and reached a hand to cup the girl's hip.

"No, I just wanted to confirm something, that's all." Quinn still looked confused, but let her continue; resuming her original position, spooning the brunette.

"Anyway, we were best friends. Or, at least that's what I thought we were." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before she continued. She had to get this out as fast as she could, and get out all of it, with any distractions to stop her. She was hesitant as it was, and she knew that were she to find any excuse to stop, she'd take it.

"We had this spot, down by the reservoir. It was beautiful. We'd go there and she would read whilst I sang or listened to music. But whilst it was beautiful, I never got comfortable." She mused. "We were there at the beginning of summer; the sun was hot and the grass was starting to die under the heat. I had let it slip that I had a crush on someone, and she was relentless. I figured, that since it was a good while until school started, that I should tell her and she'd forget when it started up again. So I described my crush. I told her of the beautiful hazel eyes they had. They're breathtaking. A subtle mix of green with oranges, gold and black and then this mix of brown and…like I said; breathtaking. So I told all of this and she knew. She knew exactly who I meant and then she got angry. Really angry. She said that that person wasn't capable of loving me like…like… like she was. She said that… no-one would ever love me; that I was unloveable just as much as I was unlikeable, if not more. Then she kept saying that we were meant to be together, quite a contradiction really, but she knew."

"Knew what?" Quinn was entranced with the story and Rachel took a deep breath before continuing, never opening her eyes.

"She knew that I loved you more than I could ever love her." She whispered brokenly.

"Loved?" Quinn asked, just as torn up as the brunette.

"I was young, it was an infatuation."She attempted to cover her tracks. "I mean I hardly knew you and even then those altercations were far from pleasant and-"

"No," She rubbed her hands roughly across her face. Whilst being told of Casey; her mind whirred, cogs turned and span. But this was a spanner in the works. A very welcome spanner. "I mean… loved? Past tense?"

"I don't know what you…" This is it, she thought, damn everyone else. They could shove their opinions firmly up their-

"Because I love you. Present tense."

"I… I…"

"Don't say it if you aren't ready." Her hand threaded through the hair in front of her face and she traced a finger down the length of her jaw. A shiver ran through Rachel at her touch and she tugged at Quinn's arm. She got the message and gingerly climbed over her so that they could face each other on the bed as Rachel moved into her vacated space. "But I love you. I think I always have but wouldn't admit it. I _couldn't _admit it. I don't love you just for this." She said after seeing trepidation in her eyes, she nodded her head towards her bandaged shoulder. "But for this." She raised both hands to tenderly frame her face. That glint of _something_ shone in her eyes and Rachel's heart skipped at its appearance, and because she finally had a name for it. Love. Her lips descended upon Rachel's and Quinn tried desperately to convey her love through it. Their tongues slid languidly together, perfectly choreographed as usual, and her thumbs rubbed gently across her cheekbones. Reluctantly, they broke apart. "For you. I love you for you."

Rachel leant forward the inch that they had created between them and kissed her again, but with slightly more hunger and every bit the same amount of passion.

"God, I love you too."

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><p><strong>(An I just wanted to mention something I've been thinking of doing for a while know. When I'm a bit further into the fic, I'll gather up a load of the featured music and others from my library and create the 'They'll Never Know' Faberry fan mix. I'm just waiting until I feature a **_**certain**_** song that may or may not be the namesake of the story; so once Rachel heads back to school, I'll post up links and stuff. On a side note, if anyone has any music that they think relates to Faberry or would be good in the story, please send it along!**

**Thanks for reading, and remember the button below :) )**


	15. Chapter 15

**(A/n: Hey guys! I literally just finished this yesterday and rushed it off to my beta, who awesomely got the editing done by this morning, after some serious searching about where I wanted it to go. I freaked out for a bit about letting Casey go too early, but I'm onto something new… possibly… I don't want to tell you just in case my mind is feeling fickle. **

**The song in this chapter is 'If You Were Gay' from the musical Avenue Q**

**Previously: **_That glint of something shone in her eyes and Rachel's heart skipped at its appearance, and because she finally had a name for it. Love. Her lips descended upon Rachel's and Quinn tried desperately to convey her love through it. Their tongues slid languidly together, perfectly choreographed as usual, and her thumbs rubbed gently across her cheekbones. Reluctantly, they broke apart. "For you. I love you for you."_

_Rachel leant forward the inch that they had created between them and kissed her again, but with slightly more hunger and every bit the same amount of passion._

"_God, I love you too."_**)**

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><p>Their limbs were warm and tangled on the cold, white linens. Hands were linked and their bodies pressed tightly together. Hot breaths fluttered across clothed skin, one deep in slumber and the other shallow with anticipation. The scenes had played in her dreams, as usual, but this time she wasn't woken from them worriedly by the blonde in her arms. She could only deduce from that that she hadn't screamed or twisted in agony. Was this a development? A sign that she was healing? Rachel moved her free palm to brush some hair out of the way and winced at the action. Cut into her palm were four crescent moon shapes with dried blood around them. Better, but not quite there yet, then. Rachel considered it a step in the right direction at least. It had gotten progressively better in the weeks since the… happenings, but she couldn't help but worry about regressing. The red, metal lockers, stained flooring and out-dated wall displays that were now painted on the inner walls of her mind would not have changed, and they would not help her rehabilitation and healing. The entire school would be a constant reminder of that day, and would she be able to handle that? She closed her eyes and pictured herself walking into those feared halls. They were far from empty that day, and papers fluttered in a draft around people's feet. They swirled in the air before settling as a door closed behind her. She didn't turn to the slamming noise, but continued on her path, her path towards the choir room.<p>

Whilst scouring for songs online, she had uncovered a new artist and was aching to play one of his tracks. The sheet music was safely tucked in her locker and she just needed to freshen up. She had bumped into various people in the hallway, all practically shoving her out of their path. Now she went back over it, she had collided with a tense looking Dave Karofsky. He had emerged from the boy's locker room and another boy was trying to get his attention. She remembered not recognizing the boy, but had disregarded it and carried on. It wasn't a star's responsibility to know everyone. She slipped through a door into the girl's bathroom just as Azimio was prowling the halls with a grape slushie.

Rachel opened her eyes, not needing, or able, to see the rest of the day. She couldn't bear to willingly watch the scene again. Her heart sped as she thought of those walls once more; fit to burst out of her chest. Rachel closed her eyes and took a relaxing breath.

The hallways were empty apart from the scraps of paper and litter on the floor. She stood at the front doors of the school, them creaking shut behind her. The lockers lining the walls looked blood red and her pulse quickened further when they began to drip. A blinding pain surged through her shoulder and she saw her arms mimicking the lockers. Blood soaked through her shirt and dripped down her arms until it met her wrist where it trailed down her thumb and dripped off the end. Slowly, the blood trailed down each finger until drops fell from each digit. She didn't feel faint though, which was surprising due to the liquid that had fallen from her and pooled at her feet. A voice called to her through slightly muffled ears. She looked up and there was a figure at the end of the hallway. It didn't occur to her to run from the person, she felt a magnetism that tugged her from her stance down the corridor. With each step, the trail of blood down her arm rose, disappearing from her sweater, and back into her injured shoulder. When she was within a few feet of the person, the blood had all but disappeared and Quinn stood before her. Rachel felt confident and secure, but the other girl's face was marred with fear and concern. She called out to Rachel, practically in tears, and the sight pulled tears from her too.

A frantic hand shook her shoulder and as her eyes closed; the real Rachel slid hers open. She blinked rapidly in succession to rid the blinding burn that the change in light gave and gaped up at Quinn. The overhead light was on giving her an angelic aura, and the tears in her eyes gave them a sparkle.

"Rach, you were crying in your sleep. What's wrong, baby?"

Rachel put aside words and kissed her. She put all of her feelings into the kiss and let her anxiety slip away. Quinn knew what had happened. She had woken to Rachel's agonizing whimpering and clenched fists and quickly took a hold of the situation.

"Do you ever regret it?" Quinn's voice was small and waivered, afraid of the answer. Rachel took a thoughtful pause, contemplating her wording.

"I only regretted it for a moment, but then I opened my eyes and through the pain I saw your hazel and gold and I haven't looked back."

"You should regret it, you deserve to." You should hate me, she thought.

"Never." They kissed again, soft and tender despite the weight of the conversation.

"I don't want you in that school, I want you here. Safe."

"Quinn-"

"Would you judge me if I told you I was scared?" She had no reason to be, she wasn't the one that got shot. She wasn't the one that had almost died. Quinn had never felt so weak, not even throughout her pregnancy. They were both times when she had been not forced, but simply _had_ to put two people above herself.

"Would _you_ judge _me _if I told you that I love you because of it?"

Quinn snuggled into Rachel's warm body and laid her hand over her chest feeling the heart strumming beneath it.

"Mr Schuester told us the second part of the assignment yesterday."

"But it was Monday! You shouldn't get homework on Mondays." Quinn hushed her with a giggle and continued.

"We have to perform a song from someone else's book." It didn't take long for Rachel to begin spouting off suggestions. All musicals, of course.

"Come What May from Moulin Rouge. Dear Prudence, Across The Universe. Before The Lobotomy, and the reprise! Hasa Diga Eebowai from The Book of Mormon. Ooh, Try Me from She Loves Me. No, no, Mama Who Bore Me. No, POPULAR!" She was getting so excited and progressively louder, that the last song suggestion was shouted as she sprung up in bed. Rachel turned to Quinn with her lips between her teeth, holding her sniggering back. "If You Were Gay from Avenue Q."

Quinn shook her head frantically. "No, no, no. No Avenue Q. It's bad enough that you suggested The Book of _Mormon_."

"_If you were gay._ Ba ba duh, ba ba duh" She sang, vocalizing the piano backing track, "_That'd be okay._ Ba duh ba duh ba duh ba. _I mean cuz, hey,_ ba ba duh, ba ba duh,_ I'd like you anyway."_

Quinn lifted a hand and smothered her mouth, but she sang muffled lyrics despite her gag order. The song was soon dispelled after a thin blonde eyebrow was cocked and Quinn glared down at the brunette.

"I will not sing _that_, nor will I sing from a musical." Rachel stuck her bottom lip as far out as she could and made her eyes just as wide. "Unless it's from Moulin Rouge."

"I think-"

"I know what song I'm going to do!"

"Can you-"

"No."

"What about-"

"No."

"Can I-"

"No."

"Finish a sentence?"

"Probably not."Quinn laughed with a wink.

She fell back into Rachel's embrace as they went through their songs in their heads. With Rachel's release from hospital the next day looming over them, they both needed to keep their minds occupied and for once Mr Schuester was proving useful. Rachel would finally get to play the song from that fateful day. Her voice chords were practically itching to sing.

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><p>The notes tapered off to let a loud cheer of laughter and applause flow in the choir room. Hands patted backs and shoulders playfully nudged together as the adrenaline from performing coursed through their veins. Mr. Schuester clapped loudly for attention and directed them all to their seats. Puck and Finn playfully fought over the only one left in the back row and Mercedes and Kurt raced for one in the middle row. For the first time in a while they were carefree and relaxed. Slushees had basically stopped, dumpster tossing was a thing of the past and at Principal Figgins reappearance, the video had stopped playing.<p>

Mr Schuester launched into a speech about unity and teamwork and Quinn tried hard to listen as Santana hissed at her from the seat to her right.

"Q_._" Quinn ignored her. "_Q_." She twisted away from her in her seat and turned her right ear towards her teacher, straining to hear him. "_Lucy Quinn Fabray_, turn your _fat ass_ around in that seat _right now_."

Quinn turned in her seat, boredom and defeat written over her face. "What, S."

"Berry's getting out today, right?" Her jaw tensed out of habit, thinking that public humiliation was on the horizon, but shook her head and diminished the thought.

"Yes, why?" She said, still slightly wary of the girl's intentions.

"Britt wanted to throw a huge welcome home party after the game, but Papá said that she would be worn out afterwards. So, B wants to head over there before the game to pick you two up and we'll all go together. Maybe go out for some food afters?"

Quinn was utterly speechless. Who the hell was this girl?

"Who the hell are you?" Santana rolled her eyes.

"For fuck's sake, Q. I'm trying here. I said that all that shit was over between me and Berry, and it is. So take the offer or don't, I don't really care." She crossed her legs and then her arms in a huff and lifted her chin up like an over-grown sulking child.

"I'm ditching last period because she gets out at 2. Pick us both up a half hour before the game starts; I want to get her there and slowly introduce the loudness so that it's not all at once."

Santana nodded with understanding and slipped a small box onto her lap. It was the same style as any ring box, but slightly smaller.

"It's from B… and me I suppose. Just don't tell her that." The bell rang and the Latina hurried from the room, towing Brittany behind her. The blonde turned, walking backwards, and waved heartily at her friend, beaming as they left.

Laughing quietly to herself, Quinn swung her bag over her shoulder and left the choir room. She got only a few feet when a heavy arm swung over her shoulder and knocked her forward a few steps.

"Hey there, Little Lucy. How's my Jew-bro?"

"I assume that you mean _Quinn_, not Lucy," She paired the statement with a fearsome glare and Puck averted his gaze. "And _Rachel_ is fine. I'm off to see her after English Lit."

"Skipping 6th, you little badass, you. Next you'll be toking up with me behind the bleachers."

She scoffed the idea and playfully shoved his arm from around her. "6th is only free study, so I'll only be skipping sitting in the library bored out of my mind. Somehow, I think I'll survive, Puckerman."

"Want me to come with? We could go now and bust her out a bit early."

"We may as well _bust her out_ on time and with the correct paperwork. Besides, Mr Berry'll kill us. We've had a talk, he owns a shotgun. End of story." The metal of her door clanged against the others as she rifled through papers, searching for her essay on 'Of Mice and Men.' With a triumphant fist pump, she retrieved and slipped it into her binder. "If you want to help Rachel somehow, help her with Sam. She didn't give much away, but she said something about needing more manpower."

With a confused look, Puck strutted away, pulling out his phone and thumbing a text to his teammate and to his Jew-bro. Quinn rolled her head on her shoulders and switched her HBIC back on, glaring at those in her path. When she got to her seat in 4C, she leant forward and tapped a boy's shoulder.

"D'you think I could borrow Blaine for a hour?"

"This had better be musical. I'm still wary of him around girls. "

"He can play piano, right?" Kurt nodded. "Bring him to Glee after school tomorrow. I'll send you the link to the sheet music tonight. I'll also need his phone number." He nodded again, handed his phone back and shot a smile at the blonde. Now they just had to practice without Rachel finding out.

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><p><strong>(An Thanks for reading and for supporting! :)**

**Review?) **


	16. Chapter 16

**(A/n My rare good mood has told me to give an update early, hopefully that means that I can get on with the next chapter soon as well. It's a bit fluffy to outweigh the impending angst, and it just kinda flew from my finger tips, and then kept going until I had an extra thousand words on top of my usual amount.**

**Again, I account that to my good mood. No, I did not receive my Pottermore letter (goddamn Errol. Fly quicker!), but I did however get a Gameboy Advance simulator on my PC so I'm in Pokemon heaven!  
>So who knows, maybe I'll be done with the next chapter sooner, rather than later.<strong>

**I've forgotten to do disclaimers for a while, so lets just pretend it's there from now on so that I don't have to keep repeating myself ;)**

**Previously: **_"Blaine can play piano, right?" Kurt nodded. "Bring him to Glee after school tomorrow. I'll send you the link to the sheet music tonight. I'll also need his phone number." He nodded again, handed his phone back and shot a smile at the blonde. Now they just had to practice without Rachel finding out._**)**

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><p>Rachel sat at the edge of her bed, her toes scuffing the floor as she swung her legs to and fro. She raised her watch to check the time and flopped it back onto the bed. Only 35 seconds since the last time she checked.<p>

She was nervous. Not so much about going to school that evening, but just leaving the hospital; it had all become the norm after staying there for so long. She knew the nurses and the doctors, she was on pet's first name basis with the orderlies, she had a running game of rummy with the aged lady with liver disease next door and a game of I-spy with one of the children from the cancer ward, the young boy was winning 36 to 27, and Nurse Pillsbury always snuck her extra jell-o on Thursdays. Always waited on hand and foot, always someone to talk to, instant access to television, and no slushies. It was like heaven.

She wrapped a leaf from the bouquet on the table around her index finger, and then sighed as she let it go. Some of the staff had given her it as a leaving present along with a wrist tag, personalised with permanent marker and a short message of luck on the back, a necklace made of macaroni from Jacob, her I-spy buddy, a stack of cards from Edith, her neighbour, and a selection of old books and music from various people around the building. They were people she had met and had made friends with by herself, and that truly mattered to her after the few years that she had had. Rachel knew that people would be nice to her when she went back to school, by a shred at least, but that would be for the… incident, not for her personality. The people she had come across over the last couple of weeks had grown to like her for her, and Rachel ached at the thought of leaving it all behind.

"So, I talked to Liz, and I have a surprise." Rachel looked up and appraised the figure at the door. Her shoulder rested against the frame of the door and her arms were crossed before her chest, pushing it up in a way that held Rachel's eyes like they were metal to magnets. Tearing her gaze away, she took in the entire form before her. The cheerleader outfit had been ditched for simple flats, skin tight jeans and a red t-shirt with distorted grey typography of 'West Side Story' that spread across the entire torso of the fabric. Rachel had stolen it from Leroy years ago, and Quinn had subsequently stolen it from her. A pair of black aviators were hung from the neck line and it in turn dipped giving a hint to cleavage on the baggy shirt.

"Like what you see?" Hazel met brown, as they had so many times before, but they both still lost their breath as they fell into pools of lush green and warm chocolate. Rachel nodded with a grin and held an arm out for Quinn to take a hold of and help her stand. Arms immediately wrapped around the short girl's waist and her lone arm slid around Quinn's shoulders.

"Very much so, now what's my surprise?" She demanded with a grin.

"See, that's gonna be a problem, because for this surprise; I need payment."

Rachel lifted her eyebrow and cast a speculative look. "Hmm, I wonder what on earth you could want."

The blonde leant down and held her lips a millimetre from hers. "A kiss, and the surprise is all yours."

"But since I know that I'm getting a surprise, would it still be classed as a surprise? I won't be very surprised when you tell me, if anything it's a secret. And I'm not sure if I should pay in kisses; I'm pretty sure that that's solicitation and Gypsy taught me many things, one of those being that when you solicit, you can get arrested and lose your place as the main performer in a burlesque club-"

With a playful roll of her eyes, she kissed Rachel and melted into her body. She could never get sick of this. Not the rambling, although it was at most times adorable, but the feel of her curves pressed wonderfully into hers and the wandering hand scratching lightly at the nape of her neck. As with every performance or facet of her education, Rachel gave over 100% in effort, skill and execution, kissing was apparently not exempt from this.

Quinn's wandering hands skimmed down her lower back, her fingers trailing gently along the clothed skin, and over the ridges of her jean's waistband. They both slipped into the back pockets and firmly grasped at the supple flesh there. Rachel groaned into the kiss and gripped blonde hair securely making Quinn emit similar sounds and they both kissed deeper and with more fire. When air became a frustrating necessity, they broke free only for Rachel to lean in and attach her lips to the column of Quinn's neck, sucking and nipping at the skin she found right down to the juncture of her neck and shoulders. She went to move her body in the cheerleader's arms, but whimpered out in pain at the flash of intense heat pulsing around her shoulder. Immediately, Quinn pulled back and held her cheeks in her palms.

"Is it your stitches?" Rachel could tell that she was reigning in the panic and worry so to not agitate her, so she gave a slightly dopy smile, still reeling from the impromptu make out session.

"I'll survive."

The back of Quinn's hair was sticking up slightly and her cheeks were heavily flushed and with the dark green her eyes had become along with the blown pupils, Rachel found herself caring less about the pain and more about who's presence she was in. In an empty room. And thick blinds. And no parents for a good 45 minutes.

"Tell me my surprise later; I think the prices just went up." Rachel grinned and pulled the blonde back to the bed, letting her lay carefully across her, to start where they left off.

The petite girl went to grasp at the sheets as Quinn sucked deliciously on her tongue, moaning at the same time and sending shivers down her spine, and then gripped her hip when she couldn't get a purchase. She pulled away at the lump in the blonde's pocket.

"Are you that pleased to see me?"

They both giggled and Quinn extracted a small box from her pocket. Aware that kissing time was over, she moved Rachel's legs so that she could lie on her belly between them with her chin on her stomach and with feet swaying in the air. Rachel's eyes were wide as saucers as she stared at the small blue box.

"Quinn…" She drawled slowly and nervously, "I… well… care to explain?" The girl in question dropped her eyes to the box then with realization, flashed them back up to her face and flustered to explain.

"It's not-… I'm not-… This isn't-… I mean if I did there'd be some roses at least-… but that's not-… It's from _Santana._" She burst out rapidly. "And _Brittany_. Not me, I mean that'd be too soon-… and roses-… champagne-… urgh." Quinn drooped her head down and buried her face in Rachel's stomach.

"Fumph Samphtana umph Bwittnum."

"You're gonna have to repeat that, Q."

Reluctantly, and with a defeated look, she raised her head and repeated herself.

"From Santana and Brittany."

Rachel took the box and opened it carefully, like an expert diffusing a bomb, however with Santana that might not be far from the truth, and beamed when she saw the contents. She plucked a gold pin shaped like a star from the velvet inlay and quickly tacked it to the blue brace holding her shoulder and arm steady.

"It's perfect." She grinned.

"They're coming around early tonight to pick us up, you can thank them then. I don't think that they'll appreciate a thank you essay as much as you think they will."

Rachel huffed. "Not an _essay_, a thank you _letter_, and it's polite."

"It's perfectly you."

Rachel mumbled under breath something that sounded suspiciously like "Smooth talking, sneaky, sexy…" and Quinn smiled.

A tired and worn down Hiram walked in and Quinn jumped off of her residence on his daughter with a flustered babble of "How are you" and "What lovely weather we're having Mr Berry". Hiram had grown used to the ruffled blonde and directed his attention to his daughter.

"That's everything signed, but the office has called in about an emergency in Akron, something about the databases being a waste of time and resources, despite the fact that if they simply read the memo about proper input procedures and the regulations and allowances of entered data it would be as easy as-" He trailed off and looked between the two bewildered girls. "I won't be home until late tonight, so I'll miss the game, but if Leroy clears his schedule at the hospital, then he'll escort you."

Quinn suddenly noticed were Rachel gained her wide vocabulary and tendency to ramble.

"We don't particularly need escorts Daddy, we're both old enough and wise enough to work a car to travel the 3 miles it takes to get to school. I think that we can manage that."

The two shared a smile and Quinn left the room to give them some time to talk. With equally busy schedules as a doctor at the Saint Rita Medical Centre and a head computer technician at LyondellBasell, alone time with their daughter didn't come often, and was treasured. Though foreign to her, she could respect that and used that time to text Blaine.

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><p>As the mahogany door swung open, Rachel fought the urge to yell out a cheery hello. She knew no-one was home. The darkness of her home seemed to emulate her mood slightly, as if a visible reminder of how heavy her heart felt. The nurses had mentioned that it might be hard for a while, that she could struggle under the weight of what had happened, but apart from the blinding happiness that Quinn, a few of her friends and her fathers brought, she just felt sort of… numb.<p>

It wasn't a heart wrenching sadness or depression that would have her curled in a ball in her shower stall, it was just sadness… that sat there… just numb. A hand hesitantly slipped around her waist to her rest on her stomach and a warm body fit into her back. She leant back and accepted the soft kiss on her shoulder, and the blinding happiness came back.

Quinn took the bags upstairs, walking behind her girlfriend warily, and set them at the foot of her bed. It suddenly dawned on her that even when she had written songs with the brunette, or practiced them, she had never been in her room. The walls were a subtle yellow and a large, white, four poster bed took most of the space. A simple pink desk stood near the end of the bed with a white chair that matched the dresser and her wardrobe. It was all very simple, and very Rachel. Quinn stepped over to the bed with soft pink linens, and lifted a plush monkey from the headboard.

"I don't think we've been introduced."

Rachel blushed and stole the monkey from her grasp and held it tight to her body.

"Dr. Zaius, meet Quinn. Quinn, meet the Minister of Science and Chief Defender of the Faith."

With a small chuckle, Quinn took his limp hand and shook like he were of regal stature.

"I'll have to introduce you to Senõr Jezebel."

"Wait, hold on a second… _what_?" Taking in the confused and befuddled look on Rachel's face, the Cheerio tried not to laugh as she explained.

"He was originally Senõr Snuggle-pants, but in every game I played with my toys he'd end up marrying everyone; henceforth Senõr Jezebel."

"But… Jezebel is a woman."

"What can I say, I was 6 and I wanted to have a Senõr something. It was Mike that actually suggested the new name. He heard his grandmother say it once and when he asked, she said it was someone who was promiscuous. Mike said that that was just like Senõr Snuggle-pants."

"And the rest is history?"

"The rest is history."

They shared a brief smile before Quinn pulled her into her side. Rachel nestled in and rested her hand on the firm skin under the hem of her top. Her fingers tickled at her abs before circling her navel, causing Quinn to relax into the soft comfort of the bed.

"Just a quick snooze before the game."

Quinn simply snored in response.

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><p>Santana pounded at the door. And again. And again.<p>

"C'mon Berry, we know you're home! Open the fuck up!"

Brittany scoured the stones looking for something and Santana turned back to the door. She gave up on screaming at the top of her lungs for pounding relentlessly at the wood. Brittany skipped back to her side and the Latina fell forwards as the door flew open.

"_Shit!_" She was helped to her feet as she dusted of her knees and palms. "You couldn't have done that ten minutes ago, B?"

Brittany grinned and shrugged as she made her way up the stairs, moving her hips in a way that she knew would get Santana out of her anger. Sure enough, as she turned back around, the girl's eyes were strictly trained on her ass. With a giggle, she made her way to the room with Rachel's name painted in black cursive and a star at the end.

"Hey, San, look." She gestured to the two entwined on the bed, the setting sun casting an orange and red glow through the thin curtains and across their features. Brittany cocked her head and gazed in awe over the two, she was one of the few that knew this adorable, soft side of the Head Cheerio, and it had always warmed her heart. Quinn was the one to help her with History or Maths, she taught her how to use the computers properly, how to ride a bike and so much more. Brittany was so far in her reminiscence that she didn't notice her girlfriend slinking away, back down the stairs.

She sighed happily and decided to let them have 5 more minutes to themselves, after all; it was going to be a long night for them both.

*_Clang clang. Bang!_*

"Wakey wakey! Rise and shine! Up and at 'em love birds, we've got a game to go to then I wants to get some eats. So hurry the fuck up and do up your shirt Berry, I do not want to see your berries." Santana put the pot and wooden spoon on the desk and grabbed Brittany's hand.

"Did you do that… in your _sleep_?"

Quinn shrugged with a smirk. "What can I say? I'm skilled."

"We'll be raiding your kitchen, so I'd move your asses." She tugged Brittany down the stairs and straight for the cupboards.

Not caring to button her shirt, Rachel yawned and stretched, before carefully removing her arm brace so she could change. Quinn quickly got up to help, placing her hand under her elbow and slipping the garment from her body. Whilst she looked for a shirt to wear, Quinn let her hands stray, splaying over smooth skin and sun kissed freckles.

"Oh dear God." Quinn flicked her head up from where she was dropping kisses on her bare skin and scoured over the gauze.

"What is it?"

Rachel held her gaze; her eyes were wide with fear and her mouth dropped open.

"I can never wear plaid again."

"_Christ_ on a _bike_, Rach. I thought it was something serious!"

"And this isn't? We're technically lesbians, and according to popular stereotype; lesbians wear plaid. _Quinn!_" She grasped the laughing girl by the shoulder. "I _like_ plaid!"

Of course, this only made her laugh louder and Santana rushed up the stairs.

"What the hell is going on- and hel_-lo, Berry._" Rachel rolled her eyes and tried to slide her arms into her black button up with much difficulty.

"Before you make a joke about berries, treasure trails or anything remotely crude, I want you to know that anything you ate downstairs is vegan."

Santana gave a horrified look and began to fake retch. "Those chips were healthy? Urgh, but they tasted so good! That a false economy. Junk food is supposed to be bad, stupid vegans." She clutched at her stomach and continued fake hurling everywhere before collapsing on her back on the bed. The phone beside her face vibrated and she tossed it in the general direction of her friends. With quick reflexes, Quinn caught it and handed it to Rachel as she continued to do up her buttons.

"Mm hmm, okay. No that should work. Get Sam to get ready, we've done all we can. Yeah, I'll be there. No, well, yeah. Right now? Quinn is helping me get dressed. No, those activities would be far from helpful right now, and would only serve to slow down the process. No you can't join." Quinn finished buttoning and pressed her thumbs under her shoulder blades, massaging the tense muscles there. "Mmm, that's nice. Huh? No, not you, Quinn." She put her hand over the receiver and dropped her head back to rest on Quinn's shoulder. "A bit lower, baby." Quinn complied and pressed harder as well. "Oh, right there. Stop being a pig, Noah. Right, okay, so don't do that then. Woo her. Try harder. Are you seriously asking me? Go get ready, Noah. I'll talk to you later." She hung up and shifted her head on Quinn's shoulder. "We should head off."

"About time!"Santana called from the bed and ran down the stairs. "C'mon Britt, we've got a game to get to."

Quinn slipped Rachel's arm back into the brace and hand in hand, they left the house.

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><p><strong> (An I know that I haven't included the performances or the game, but all in due time, all in due time. I've got some plans for the performances, and I'll try not to skimp on 'em.**

**Hope you're all well, and thanks for getting this far with me.)**


	17. Chapter 17

**(A/n Procrastination strikes again!**

**One thing to quickly note, spirit sticks are mentioned in this chapter, and no, that's not a euphemism. They are those balloon stick things that fans clash together and they make a large banging noise. Took me ages to figure out what they were called, but that might not even be the right term. Ah well, it sounds rude so I'm sticking to it.**

**This chapter kinda posed some difficulties for me. A) Just writing it in general, and B) Due to lack of sleep and unwillingness to write, it became sloppy. I wrote two entire different versions of this chapter, as I've had to do with a couple, and this one seemed to fit just slightly more. Hopefully it flows well, but if it doesn't, or if I go too OOC, please pop it in a review message so I can do better for the next chapter.**

**Also, Quinn sings **_**La Complainte De La Butte**_**, Rufus Wainwright's version. It is… hauntingly beautiful.**

**Thanks for putting up with me Caitlin!**

**Previously: **_"We should head off."_

"_About time!"Santana called from the bed and ran down the stairs. "C'mon Britt, we've got a game to get to."_

_Quinn slipped Rachel's arm back into the brace and hand in hand, they left the house._**)**

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><p>"Never again." Santana groaned as she stumbled from the car, her hands plastered securely to her ears.<p>

"There's no need to be such a drama queen, Santana. Honestly, you act as if you don't care about the proper hygiene routine of bullet wounds. You may need this for future reference."

"Why use details? I can see it when I close my eyes!" She moved her hands to cover her eyes firmly and groaned again.

Rachel caught Quinn's eye and winked at her with a smirk. "I didn't even get to the bit where the wound begins to ooze pus." Santana ran towards the locker rooms screaming "La la la" at the top of her lungs. The three girls laughed and moved into a loose circle.

"I have to go and get some stuff sorted out before the game; can you stay with Rach, Britt?" The blonde nodded once and grinned. Quinn leant forward and kissed Rachel, threading her hand in brunette hair, prolonging it and procrastinating her unavoidable leaving. "I'll be back before it gets dark. 'Cedes and Kurt said they'd be here soon?"

"Soon… yeah." Rachel leant forward and took her lips again.

"I can skip another 5 minutes."

"FABRAY. TALK. NOW"

"Or not. Bye, baby." She dropped a final kiss on the tip of her nose and jogged to her frustrated coach and best friend. Santana had a confused look on her face, hating to be left out of the loop, and Quinn went straight to Sylvester. They spoke and Santana only got more confused.

"Coach said that I was top of the pyramid tonight… what the fuck, Q?"

Quinn shrugged and looked at Sue. The coach knew what was happening, she was always creepily omniscient.

"You'll return for the next game, and I expect triple suicides next practice." She was being harsh for her image's sake, but the slight unfamiliar warmth in her eyes told her that the moment the other Cheerios left, she wouldn't be far behind. So Quinn kept up the charade too and lowered her in head in fake shame.

"Yes, Coach. Sorry, Coach. I just have something to take care of this evening." Or something, she added in her head.

"This _won't_ happen again." Sylvester raised a hand to her forehead and saluted her, and Quinn quickly responded, before leaving. Santana watched the tracksuit enter the locker room before she spoke.

"What the hell? She wasn't this lenient when you had a lizard baby, what the fuck changed?"

"You really shouldn't swear so much, Santana, it's not very becoming of you."

"… You've been hanging around Mayor of Munchkinland for too long."

"That isn't much of an insult; I'd spend all day beside her if I could."

"_That's_ it." She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "You're giving up top spot for _Rachel?_"

There was a silence between them as Quinn debated her answer.

"She's my Brittany." 1 point to Quinn Fabray, she put a tally in her head.

"Are you sure about this, Q?"

"Isn't this what you've wanted all this time?" Despite knowing her for God knows how many years, she never would truly understand Santana. She wanted the captaincy, but didn't want Quinn to lose it? Quinn shrugged.

"Got more important things on my plate tonight. Speaking of which, I really need to go; I'm cutting it fine as it is." She threw her spare Cheerios top with a bold C stitched upon it to her friend and took off towards the large group of people trying to climb the bleachers. Taking two steps at a time, she flew up the steps and flopped into a seat beside her girlfriend. She collapsed on her shoulder, panting from her impromptu run and began to gulp down a bottle of water that Kurt held out for her. Quinn looked to the sky; this was her time to shine, for lack of a better metaphor. She held Rachel tighter in her arms as a loud roar erupted from the crowd that had slowly formed below them and felt her noticeably tense. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea… darkness always meant nightmares and she'd been witness to the pain and terror that the nightmares brought, and being school only made it more potent. More fans filled the bleachers, the noise getting louder as they came. Rachel stiffened further and Quinn could feel her breaths coming fast and sharp. She leant in and let her lips caress the thrumming pulse point on her neck, feeling it calm partially under her touch.

"That's it, I'm here, Rach. I'm here." The brunette calmed further and slid her hand into Quinn's.

"People will see, Quinn." Her tongue peeked out and traced distracting circles on her skin.

"I don't care about them, I care about you. Just relax; I'm here to protect you." As if trying to rival her words, the audience let out an unruly cry, slamming their spirit sticks together creating loud shots of noise, each sending a blast of fear and tension through Rachel. Quinn only hugged tighter and moved her mouth to her ear, whispering sweet nothings to ease her but pulled away when she gasped sharply and pointed to the field. She jumped up and down in her seat, shaking her as she did and pointing at the field.

"It worked, Quinn! It worked!" She moved her attention to the field and took an equally shocked gasp. Keeping her eyes trained on the grass, she blindly shook her hand in front of her, aiming for Mercedes' shoulder and hitting it repeatedly. The girl in question lifted her head from her phone and swore. Loudly.

The light was extremely dim and the floodlights were yet to be turned on letting the message come across fully. Bright pink shone from the field, painted accurately in glow in the dark paint.

_Sam loves Mercedes._

Rachel picked up the phone and hit speed dial 5, Noah. Down at the edge of the field, he picked up the phone and held it out to his team-mate.

"It worked." She whispered, "And she loves it!"

Mercedes and Kurt were busy flailing over the message and planning a June wedding.

"I hope that you like summer weddings though, actually, you'd get one whether you wanted one or not. And I'm reminding you of the orchestrator, and the payment desired. Mm hmm. Let me just hand you off to her." She gently tapped Mercedes on the shoulder and passed her phone forward.

"I'm getting my back garden landscaped to look like the forests of Pandora with lighted stepping stones and everything!" Quinn just chuckled and wrapped her in her embrace again.

"Only you would ask for that as payment." She laughed.

The floodlights came on, slightly diminishing the glow, and the teams took to the field. Within minutes it was all underway and the ball was snapped into Sam's awaiting hands. He scoured the field for an open pass and the ball flew through the air to a running Noah. He jumped over a diving Spencerville player and shoved another one away by his helmet. With a triumphant fist pump, he slammed the ball to the ground for their first touch-down on their first try. They re-formed and took off again, Coach Bieste's well structured game plays coming to light, the crowd bellowing louder with each play. Rachel began to shake under Quinn's arm and cold sweat trickled down her back. Quinn was so focused on the game that she hadn't noticed and when Rachel shivered particularly hard, she absent mindedly threw a blanket over their legs, never straying from the tackling players on the field. Rachel's fist curled and tensed as images tore through her head. She gripped the blanket until her knuckles were white and took sharp, harsh intakes of air followed by small puffs of smoke in the cold night.

"Q-Q-Qui-"

"Are you okay? Do you need another blanket? Here, have this one too. And have some tea, it may help." She passed the cup off and began to rub calming circles on her back. Rachel closed her eyes and began to take deep breaths. Just relax, Rachel, c'mon. You can do this. Just breathe. Quinn is with you, she repeated in her head.

"Do you want to leave? I mean, you only wanted to come to see Sam's message, right? Unless you want to stay, I mean that's okay too, we can do whatever you want."

Just relax, Rachel, c'mon. You can do this. Just breathe. Quinn is with you.

"Where's your Dad, or is it Daddy, I can never remember. Shouldn't he be here by now?"

Just relax, Rachel, c'mon. You can do this. Just breathe. Quinn is with you.

"I hope Santana'll be alright with changing things around. I hate leaving them in the lurch, they may be a bunch of uptight bitches, but they're my team. But I had to sit out, I couldn't leave you. Do you want something to eat? I can go get you something from the stand down there."

Just relax, Rachel, c'mon. You can do this. Just breathe. Quinn is with you… and rambling.

"They have anything you want. Or do you want something else, I mean; I highly doubt that they have any vegan options. I could quickly drive around and find you something. Hell, we shouldn't be here at all. You should be in bed, resting, and I should be looking after you. This was too much, too soon, for you and-"

"_Quinn!_"

It didn't take more than that for Quinn to jump out of her seat and pull Rachel down the steps. She grabbed her phone from Mercedes as they rushed past her and threw her bag onto her shoulder roughly. She ploughed through the crowd at the bottom and tugged Rachel beneath the bleachers, the thick wood blocking a lot of the noise. Her hands shot to Rachel's face, moving it to and fro, examining her.

"God, I'm so sorry, I was watching the game and didn't think about the noise and I-"

Rachel held up a hand and urged her to hush.

"I shouldn't have let you come and-"

"_Let_ me? I didn't realise that _this_ made me your property, or your prisoner." She spat angrily, the adrenaline in her system taking effect. "If I wasn't okay I would've said. For God's sake, Fabray, I was _handling it_." The anger still coursed in her veins as Quinn fumbled with her words. "I managed quite a few years without you and under almost as bad circumstances. You think I didn't have nightmares of you lot torturing me? I can handle this, or should I ask for _permission_?" She turned on her heel and stormed off leaving a flustered blonde in her wake.

* * *

><p>Once she had shaken herself out of her stupor, she ran after the girl, but she was gone. She went back to their seats, but a confused Kurt and Mercedes didn't know either. She scoured the parking lot, went to the auditorium, the choir room, she even went to the cafeteria. She had almost given up when she turned down the corridor she normally avoided. She stopped at the T-junction joining two hallways and stared, there was a dim glow of strong moonlight coming through the double doors, bathing the figure in white. She stood with an arm dangling by her side and the other entrapped in her brace. Her head hung low, eyes trained on the floor, and she didn't move.<p>

"What did I do?" Her voice was soft, but thanks to the quiet of the still school, Rachel heard. The bare hallway gave her unwelcome reminders of the… incident. A few sheets of paper lay scattered, just as they had, and a peculiar stillness encompassed them both.

"I'm not fragile. This… incident… doesn't change me. It may be a crack in the foundations, but I'm- urgh! I'm _sick_ of using metaphors to explain myself!" She turned to face Quinn. "You're treating me differently! And I _hate_ it! Everyone is treating me differently! Kurt didn't comment on my outfit, Mercedes didn't make any snarky comments and you freaked out over me when I just needed some quiet and some space. The only person who hasn't changed too much is Santana! How sad is that! The one person I want to be with right now is _her_. She would tell me to stop being a little whiny _bitch_ and get my shit together."

"But, Rach, it's normal for people to have PTSD after this sort of-"

"Stop babying me! _Please!_ Tell me to suck it up, or to just leave if I can't handle it. Say something mean or just-" She crumpled to her knees in tears and Quinn ran to her. "I'm not ready for it to change." She whimpered out. "Call me nickname, or to stop whinging. Please."

"No."

"_Please._"

"_No._"

"Please." She sobbed as more tears fell. Quinn curled her up into her lap and stroked her hair as she wept. "Please."

Gently, Quinn put an arm under her knees and the other around her back. With surprising strength from years of cheerleading, she lifted them both from the floor, bathed in an eerie halo from the moonlight around their bodies, like they were angels, rising from where they had once fallen.

* * *

><p>The next day at school was hard, as to be expected. Rachel had tried to slip by unnoticed that morning, as she'd once spent years trying to do, but the moment she stepped into that hallway it was like there was a bright spotlight on her. Generally she liked spotlights, scratch that, loved them, but this one seemed to burn a hole right through her. The hardest part of the day came at third period. There was no hum of conversation in the crowded hallways, just anticipation. Rachel twisted around and passed people, desperate for her locker. The moment she touched the metal a gunshot sounded, echoing through the hallway. Everyone crouched to the ground and Rachel just dropped. Santana had been near her when it went off and dived to her side, catching her before she hit the ground. Her hands clasped at the Cheerio uniform and Santana held her to her, shooting a look to Finn. She jerked her head towards where the shot came from and he bounded down the hall.<p>

He jumped over several students to chase the flash of dark ginger hair that had disappeared around the corner and passed by the starting pistol that had been dropped in the shooter's haste to escape. When he turned the corner there was no-one there and he was no step closer to finding the asshole that posted the video and organized the scare. Dejected and thoroughly pissed off, he walked back to Rachel's locker where he helped Santana lift Rachel to her feet. They brushed her down and made sure she was okay. She assured them so, promised even, but she couldn't tell them about how her shoulder, even though almost healed, felt like it had been shot again or that all she could see behind her eye lids was the pool of blood and Quinn's frantic eyes. Finn escorted her to her next lesson leaving Santana to find her friend and recount the tale. He stood on the side with her brace and held their books together. It was awkward, but just slightly, and they had soon arrived. Eyes followed them the whole way, judging and questioning. News had spread about the nature of Rachel and Quinn's relationship and now this was another piece to their imaginary love triangle puzzle. Finn handed over her books, and with an awkward pat on the back, he said goodbye and went to find Santana.

A blonde beauty stood leaning against the lockers across from her classroom doorway as the bell rang and those hazels burned when they saw her. She didn't say a word; she didn't need to, and checked her over to see if she was okay. An arm was offered to Rachel and they linked before striding down the halls of McKinley, parting them like the Red Sea. Not a word was said between them; Quinn knew that any to come from her would be to coddle Rachel, and that wasn't wanted, while Rachel just couldn't be bothered to find any. It wasn't until Glee that they finally spoke, and then it was in Rachel's preferred way.

Walking into the room, she was met with applause, and never one to fail a willing audience, she grinned and playfully curtsied. The sound was like nectar to her and she could feel the day washing from her back, slipping away and making her feel warm again. She took her usual chair as Mr Schuester began to speak.

"Now, firstly, welcome back, Rachel. To say that we missed you would be a terrible understatement. And I would like to offer you the first performance, if you'll have it." He swept his hand over the performance area and took his seat, knowing full well that she would accept his offer.

Until she didn't.

"Actually, I know that Puck has something wonderful planned, as do Quinn and Santana. I wouldn't mind passing it off to them or another member of the club."

Will stopped in his movement. He was halfway towards sitting down, his ass hovering above the seat, but he couldn't move from the shock.

"I- you- yeah. C-C'mon… guys?" His face pursed as he became more astonished and baffled by her request.

Santana went to walk from her seat but Puck grabbed her shoulder and pulled back down. When she went to protest, Brittany clamped a hand over her mouth and gestured towards the front of the classroom. Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand and stood, front and centre.

"I hope you all don't mind, but I asked for some help with this one. I found it when I was reading through Tina's book, and it just kind of… hit me. Moulin Rouge is one of my favourite movies, and this song is a favourite too. It's about this poet who, one night, finds love with this beggar girl, but they never see each other again. It's basically this lament to lost love and is basically a testament to… it's about love, okay?"

Blaine entered through the door in haste and plonked himself down on the piano bench.

"Sorry I'm late, Warbler meeting ran long, and then I had to change. I didn't want to enter a rival school in my uniform." He shot a wink at Kurt and a smile at Quinn before stretching the muscles in his hands. Quinn placed herself beside him and his fingers gently began to press the keys. His eyes closed as he got lost in the music, the soft tinkering melody taking him. Her gentle voice layered over it and swept through the room.

_La lune, trop bleme__  
><em>_pose un diadème __  
><em>_sur tes cheveux roux._

_La lune, trop rousse,  
>de gloire éclabousse<em>_  
><em>_ton jupon plein de trous._

The pair continued, soothing and subdued, just as the song was meant to be played. The dulcet tones were interrupted many times throughout by sniffles but they both carried on until the notes began to taper off.

_Les escaliers de la butte __  
><em>_sont durs aux miséreux.__  
><em>_Les ailes du Moulin__  
><em>_protègent les amoureux._

When they raised their heads, there wasn't a single dry eye in the house. Blaine rose and went to his boyfriend, kissing him as he sat beside him and Quinn slowly stood as Rachel walked towards her.

"J'taime, tant." Rachel whispered. She hooked a finger in Quinn's collar and tenderly pulled her to her height. They were inches away, no, nanometers, when Puck decided to yell out crudely;

"Yeah, Berry! Get some!" The entire class sniggered as she let out a frustrated moan and snapped her head around. They expected a long diatribe about manners, but Rachel had to keep them on their toes.

"I was _about to _before you rudely interrupted, _Puckerman_." In one quick movement she turned back towards Quinn and fiercely yanked her forward. Their lips met harshly, but Rachel quickly massaged hers and soothed with her tongue. She slowly pulled away, satisfied when Quinn leant forward, trying to prolong it, and turned to their audience. "I believe that you have something to show us, Noah? Just pick your jaw up off the floor and get on with it." She towed a dazed Quinn to their seats as the challenged took to his feet and stepped down towards the front of the room.

"You've got a bit of drool, right there." Rachel pointed out cheerily and sat back in her seat.

"Well I'm about to blow your little Broadway mind, Berry. Kabloom!" He gestured her head exploding with his hands and then pointed to the band. "Let's _learn to live the unexamined life._" Synth piano began and the drums started.

* * *

><p><strong>(An The French translation is very rough. I did like, a year in primary school so it took a while to remember. It should say; **"I love you, so much."** If it's wrong, I apologize profusely.**

**Major kudos to anyone who can name the song at the end. It's Broadway, and the words written down aren't in the song, but the lead up to it.**

**Thanks for reading!)**


	18. Chapter 18

**(A/n Technically it's still Monday somewhere… okay, sorry this is a day late. But I started college yesterday and everything has been a bit up in the air.**

**Considering how few lyrics I put at the end of the last chapter, I was surprised how many people knew what it was. Yeah, I let my closeted Broadway fan out and it was **_'Dancing Through Life'_**. Well done!**

**Anyhooo, let's get on with the chapter shall we?**

**And I'm forever thankful to Caitlin. Sent this as I went to sleep and woke up to an email with all of the edits, so I'm getting this out there before I head of to school.**

**Previously:** _"Well I'm about to blow your little Broadway mind, Berry. Kabloom!" He gestured her head exploding with his hands and then pointed to the band. "Let's learn to live the unexamined life." Synth piano began and the drums started._**)**

* * *

><p>Puck took 3 graceful steps to the middle of the room and then slid his foot to join its partner in a slow glide across the linoleum.<p>

_Dancing through life, skimming the surface.  
>Gliding where turf is smooth.<em>

He span as the note carried on, his sneakers making small squeaks as he did so. His voice was low, lower than any Fiyero Rachel had heard, but it suited the song and he jogged to the stacks, and spun Artie in his chair.

_Life's more painless, for the brainless.  
>So let's keep dancing through.<em>

Rachel couldn't help but let her mouth hang open. It had seemed that Puck had gone through all the online videos of the performances and combined them into one medley of spins, glides and hand gestures. Pushing up with his hands and with a big leap, he landed atop the piano and crouched down, aiming a sly smirk at Rachel.

"Say, what's the most swankified place in town?"

"Well, that'd be the Ozdust Ballroom."

"Sounds perfect!" He jumped down and grabbed her hand, spinning her in circles as the lyrics spun effortlessly from his mouth. As the song ended, and Rachel was suitably dizzy, he led her to her chair and with a peck on her hand and a wink, he took his own.

"Ho-ly shit. That was good." Lauren yelled from the back. He leant forward, his forearms resting on his knees, until he was at Rachel's ear level.

"Beat that, Superstar."

With a huff, Rachel stood up and strode over to the piano. She shot a glare at Noah, before plonking herself onto the seat.

"I found this in Tina's book, but I was planning on singing it before this assignment was handed out. And unlike _some_ people, I don't need flashy dance moves to distract from my singing, or from the fact that you were both sharp and flat on several notes, something I've never seen anyone do, might I add." She looked over the rest of the class and continued, but much quieter. "I was actually going to sing this… _then_." She dropped her eye line to the keys in front of her. "This was for someone in the class who is very important to me, more now than ever. I think the song explains itself, really."

Tentatively, she slid her arm out of her brace and set it on top of the piano. She moved her arm a bit in circles, testing it out, before resting her fingers on the ivories. A soft tune flowed out and she took a deep breath.

_Hush, baby, don't cry.  
>Just get through this night.<br>Over come._

Because all that you are is broken inside,  
>but they'll never know.<br>They'll never know.

Tears built in Quinn's eyes as everyone else fell away. It was just the two of them and the baby grand.

_Don't think that they'll change.  
>They push you away,<br>far from home._

'Cause all that they are  
>is broken inside.<br>But they'll never know.  
>They'll never know.<p>

The dam broke and tears streamed, as every memory from the past year bubbled up inside her. Everything got taken from her; family, Finn, cheerleading, a home and herself in the process. A hand took hers and she saw Mercedes watching her with kind eyes. She was seeing it all too. And when Quinn turned to Santana, it was the same. Her heart swelled with adoration and love at the girl before her.

_Pink flowers and bows,  
>that's all you should know,<br>and summer days._

'_Cause all that you are  
>is beautiful, child,<br>but they'll never know.  
>They'll never know.<em>

Rachel's fingers were almost caressing the keys, at one with the music. She felt every note, every bar and every verse. It was as if the words were always meant to come from her and go to the blonde, openly crying in the front row.

'_Cause all that you are  
>is beautiful, child,<br>but they'll never know.  
>They'll never know.<em>

Rachel grabbed her sling and Quinn's hand when she had gotten to her side, and they walked out.

* * *

><p>Quinn was quiet the entire way home. She was absorbing and contemplating, and Rachel could practically see the cogs turning as she drove. She wanted desperately to be able to take her mind off of whatever it was that had her mind in a whirl, but the only thing effective enough would severely distract her from driving, so she settled for something else.<p>

"So the weather's nice today."

The car slowed at a stop sign and Quinn tilted her head to the side, her brow quirked and an amused smirk on her lips.

"You want to talk about the weather?"

Rachel shook her head with a similar grin. "Would you like to talk about sports? Or the stock market? I happen to know that the FTSE went down today."

Quinn just shook her head disbelievingly as she pulled into Rachel's drive way. With one hand she slung their bags over her shoulder and the other tugged Rachel out of the car.

"Or would you like to talk about something a bit more comprehendible? Maybe some world news? The conflict in the Middle East or-" Quinn put a hand over her mouth and moved in front of her.

"I don't care about the stock market. Or sports, or any form of world news. Right now all I care about is getting all of this crap into your room then eating some of your rabbit food before picking up an In-and-Out on the way back to Mercedes'. Now _that_ I care about. Okay?" Rachel nodded beneath her palm. She removed it, and replaced it with her lips for a moment before gesturing for Rachel to unlock the door. Quinn was exhausted. For a starter, she hadn't been able to spend much time alone with Rachel today, increasing her anxiety by a ten fold, then someone set off a starting pistol, and then she had gone to her locker before glee and found an empty bullet casing taped to the door. She was tired both physically and mentally and all she wanted was to relax with her girlfriend.

After a sluggish trip upstairs, Quinn threw herself face down onto the bed, arms spread out across the soft comforter. Rachel pulled off her brace and sat on the edge of the bed beside her, her hand reaching out and kneading at the tense muscles at the base of the blonde's spine. Letting out a guttural moan, Quinn shuffled even closer to Rachel as the fingers danced and pressed across her back. Her muscles lost all of their tension and she began to melt into the mattress; eyes sliding shut and breathing evening out.

Rachel's phone vibrated and a muffled tone sounded from her bag. She answered and slipped out of the room.

* * *

><p>The first thing Quinn felt when she woke up was the lack of Rachel. For the first time in what felt like years, there wasn't a small body furled up beside her. Her hand reached out blindly across the other side of the bed, but nope, the sheets were ice. Drearily, she raised her head and blinked the sleep from her eyes. God, her head was pounding. Stretching her stiff muscles, she spotted a leaf of white paper beside where she was lying, held down by a small star shaped paper weight.<p>

_Went to go see Santana. Just sleep, I'll be back soon. There's normal food in the pantry.  
>-Rachel *<em>

She flipped the paper over, back and forth a few times, before resigning to the fact that more words wouldn't appear. With a deep exhale, she pushed herself off of the bed and trudged downstairs. Quinn went straight to where the good stuff was stocked and then, bag of normal chips in tow; she began to walk around, taking the opportunity to peruse the millions of family photos that adorned every surface. Every single one had giant smiles in them. Some were more toothy and gapped than the others, but small Rachel was adorable. There was a larger photo in the centre of the mantle and Quinn traced a fingertip along the bottom edge of the frame. The three of them were in front of a giant marquee, bright lights all around them along with equally excited musical goers. Rachel was perched atop Leroy's broad shoulders and Hiram had an arm around his husband's waist. Thanks to Leroy's height, she towered above everyone in the crowd, her head almost touching the marquee's hot lights. The photo practically enveloped her in the warm memory and Quinn smiled.

Back at her parent's house, in the centre of the mantle, was a stiff family portrait. Her father had forced her to wear her communion dress and her sister, her confirmation dress. Like Rachel's, it was also from when she was much younger, but it held no heart. In fact, she thought to every photo in the house and each was as emotionally empty as the last. The only photos that she had kept were one of her Mother cradling her as a baby, and the other of her Father lifting her to the height of a steam train. There were none of Franny, her older sister, for she only represented what her Father had turned into, she just happened to be that way from the start. Mercedes' family was a much better family than hers had ever been. Her father drove them all to church on Sundays, where she had joined their choir, and then they had a family day, each taking turns to pick an activity. Saturdays were her own, and she had often found herself staying home anyway, loving spending time with Joelle, 'Cedes' Mother. Absent mindedly, her hand strayed to her flat stomach, where she rubbed slowly.

She walked to the front room, and sat herself on the plush sofa, absorbing the atmosphere.

"Where's your head at, kiddo?" Quinn jumped a foot off of the sofa and hastily brushed the crumbs from her top.

"Oh, um, hi, Hiram. I wasn't eating on your couch."

The short man chuckled and plucked a chip from the bag, shrugged, then tossed it into his open mouth.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Rachel. She and Leroy are the ones who care so much about that sort of stuff. Me? I prefer an organized mess." He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it across an armchair, making his point, and took a few more chips from the half empty bag. "So, penny for your thoughts?"

Quinn contemplated and reorganized her thoughts for a moment.

"Do you… keep in contact with Shelby?"

If Hiram was startled by the question, he must have used the fine acting skills he'd taught his daughter, because he didn't so much as flinch.

"We confer once every two months to discuss Rachel and other things, why?"

"It's just that… well, I was wondering how Elizabeth was doing."

The older man saw the struggle behind the question; wanting desperately to know, but wanting to leave be at the same time. He stood in front of her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Beth is happy with her, and when you both are ready, you can go and explain. In fact, if it would help, would you like me to tell Shelby that you were asking after her?"

Quinn shook her head.

"No, I gave her up. That wouldn't be fair on anyone involved. But… I sometimes wonder whether I made the right choice." Hiram nodded. "One of the worst bits about giving her to Shelby specifically was that it was like she was replacing Rachel. How screwed up is that? I'm giving away my kid and all I can think about is a girl I was supposed to hate."

He shrugged. "You just didn't know it then, but part of you loved her. I've seen you at the hospital remember. At first it was only when you thought that no-one was looking; you became this compassionate, wonderful young woman. Then, as time went on, it blossomed and you were that way all of the time. You made the right choice, Quinn. Beth is more than fine with Shelby."

Quinn laughed sadly. "I suppose that it just all came floating to the surface."

"Maybe you should stop trying to sink it?"

* * *

><p>Rachel took a seat and fiddled with her coffee cup. She twisted it to and fro, observing the new design that the 'Lima Bean' had gone for. It was rather stylish and-<p>

"'Sup Yentl." Santana jerked her head and sat opposite her.

"They changed the logo designs here. I didn't realise."

Santana stared at her blankly. "Right… _wow_, you live a fascinating life." She drolled.

"There's no need for sarcasm, I was making a simple observation."

"That I don't give a flying fuck about. It could come in a bucket for all I care, as long as it's coffee." Rachel sulked in her seat and slumped down slightly.

"Was there a reason you wanted to meet me?"

"I heard patience is a virtue, Berry. Practice it."

"My girlfriend is lying on my bed at home, asleep. I could be with her, giving her a massage or something else to ease her strain, but no; I'm here with you. So spill."

She merely shrugged. "Wanted to check up on you… okay, Brittany wanted me to check up on you. Something about a peeing STD? I mean, my dad works at the hospital, but not in that wing"

"PTSD, Santana. And I'm fine." Santana gave her a doubtful glare and she slumped in her seat.

"Don't lie to me, Streisand." She sat up straighter in her seat and leant forward over the table, whispering so only Rachel could hear. "When that pistol went off, I caught you. I practically saw the whole thing replay in your eyes, so don't bullshit me, okay?"

Rachel was almost struck speechless.

"I didn't know that you cared."

Carefully, Santana set her cup on the table and her jaw clenched before she got the nerve to speak.

"You're her Brittany." The black star on the back of Santana's hand, between her thumb and forefinger, caught her eye and she smiled. When she looked up, Santana wasn't smiling at all, in fact, she was close to tears. "I need to tell you something."

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><p><strong>(An I actually have a present for you guys. It took me a while, but I redefined and remastered my TNK writing playlist to make a fanmix. Just pop this: /?37g92kojkbwk5gs at the end of www. mediafire .com to download it. Don't worry; it's virus free and everything.**

**Thanks again for reading, especially for reviewing too. Hope you're all well!)**


	19. Chapter 19

**(A/n Happy Monday! There's a wee bit of quoting from the show in this chapter, but it's for storyline purposes and I twisted the ending. You'll see why. Now I'm off to watch the repeat of the Emmy's.**

**Grazie mille Caitlin!**

**Previously: **_"You're her Brittany." The black star on the back of Santana's hand, between her thumb and forefinger, caught her eye and she smiled. When she looked up, Santana wasn't smiling at all, in fact, she was close to tears. "I need to tell you something."_**)**

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><p>The first thought that came to Rachel's head was whether the Latina was pregnant, but she shook it away. Santana couldn't meet her eyes and shuffled nervously in her seat. The air around them became tense and Rachel felt it weigh heavily on her chest. What if Santana was causing the tormenting since the bullying? Wait, that was preposterous. She was helping catch the guy. But what if that was out of guilt? Did she give Karofsky the gun? Rachel was pretty sure that she had some kind of mafia connections. God, she couldn't bear to wait much longer.<p>

"Whatever it is, Santana. It's okay, we're friends-"

"_Don't say that_." Rachel flinched in shock. "Please, I couldn't bear to know that…"

"You know, Santana, that a lot of people are delighted to be my friends. Even to just know me at all. I don't need you or whatever this rubbish is." She made a move to stand, but when the girl didn't make a bitchy retort, Rachel looked over in worried confusion.

"It's not that…" She muttered. "It's just that…" Her lip quivered and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I can't, I'm sorry."

The chair fell to the floor with a thud as she fled the building, a second thud following as Rachel bounded after her.

"Santana! Wait!"

After struggling to get through an irritable throng of people, she only managed to get to the car park in time to see two red lights speed out of the exit.

Trees sped by at a blinding speed, the lines on the tarmac were a blur and with each turn of a corner, the wheels screamed in protest. Cold wind whistled through the open window, whipping her hair into a frenzy and biting at her face. What had she done? Brittany should never have let her go meet her. She had told her that it was dredging bad things up, and that Rachel was better off not knowing, but she couldn't live with the guilt anymore. The only problem was that she couldn't work out how to tell her that it was all her fault.

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><p>Finn lumbered to the door after chucking down his controller with a huff and a sigh. He had expected it to be Puck, or maybe the delivery guy, just half an hour early, but certainly not a ruffled and distraught Santana. She apologized before slipping past him and straight down the hall. She knocked gently on Kurt's door then at his call, and with hunched shoulders, walked in. Finn went into his Mother's bedroom and pressed an ear to the thin wall. Santana and Kurt had to be big news. Or at least some gossip to pass onto Puck or Artie.<p>

It was all pretty muffled thanks to the fabric that Kurt had artfully draped and nailed to the walls, but he managed to get snippets.

"…went to see Rachel." Kurt spoke then, but he must have been by his vanity mirror in his en-suite, because his voice was just a light, unintelligible murmur.

"…been two weeks... not a wink…"

"…Hummel… help… Brit said… should never know…"

"I shouldn't have… Karofsky… two hours later…"

"…after you… Rachel and Quinn were still there…"

"It was! Don't say it wasn't!" Finn almost fell off of the bed at the sudden volume of the conversation. Tentatively, he leant back and resumed.

"Don't comfort me… stop…" Sobbing was heard through thin plaster wall and Finn couldn't tell whether it was Santana or Kurt, or both.

"…may as well have handed him the gun."

This time Finn really did fall off of the paisley quilted bed and scrambled to his feet. He charged towards the door and threw it open, denting the wall behind it.

"What the fuck did you just say!" Santana opened her mouth to answer but more convulsions and tears started. "After all we did? We were _so_ close to getting that bastard, you bitch, and then you drop _this_?"

"Finn, just give her a minute!"

She tried to respond again, but only emitted the same results. "Get the fuck out of my house. Unless you want to end up like Karofsky, your _best bud_."

"_Finn!_"

"You're on her side? Rachel is your best friend, and she tells you that she gave Karofsky the gun, and you try to defend her!"

"That's _not_ what she said. She said-"

"I'm not deaf, Kurt. I know what I fucking heard."

"_Finn_, get out of my room."

"Get out of my house."

Santana didn't wait longer and ran out, just like she had run out on Rachel. Finn pushed Kurt back as he tried to run after her, and when he finally got to the front door, he could only see two red lights speeding around the corner at the end of the road.

Suddenly gaining some form of cahones after her run in with Finn, she went straight to Rachel's. She had apparently got there just after Rachel, because both she and Quinn were hugging in the driveway. The car pulled lowly to a stop at the curb and she stepped out, looking far more confident than she felt. Rachel turned in Quinn's arms, saw Santana, and stiffened. She had spent the whole time since her abrupt departure scouring Lima, even going to both Brittany's and Puck's in case it was a primal urge that drove her from her presence. Not that she thought it was, but Rachel always thought that it was better to be safe than sorry.

They stood in an awkward silence before Santana dropped her gaze to her feet scuffing the floor.

"Please, just don't hate me. It's a lot to ask for considering what I did-"

"Which I still know nothing about, might I add."

"Please, Rachel. Don't hate me."

"Whatever it is, Santana, I couldn't ever hate you. But expect to have a colorful excerpt in my memoirs."

The tall brunette shook her head lightly at the attempt at humor and took a small step towards her. Rachel took it as a cue to get them all inside, and led Quinn by the hand behind her. They went to the living room, her father's were at a work do, and sat on the frumpy, pale yellow furniture. Santana seemed to get lost in hers, sitting far back and right into the cushion.

"So… would you mind filling us in further on what exactly is wrong?"

She fiddled with her fingers, not knowing where to start.

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><p>Santana was sitting in the Lima Bean by herself, a rapidly cooling cup of coffee in her grasp. She checked her phone and went back to playing with the handle of the mug. Eventually, with a cold breeze from the opening door, an ape in a letterman jacket sat opposite her with a smirk on his face.<p>

I knew you'd ask me out eventually," He shrugged arrogantly, "I'm kinda duke stud at McKinley."

"Oh, give it up._ I know._" The smarmy grin didn't fade and he shrugged slightly again.

"Know what?"

"That you're gay." His smile dropped into a thin line.

"What? Who told you that?"

"No-one had to _tell_ me. First of all, I saw you checking out Sam's _ass_ the other day." Dave scoffed and averted his gaze, hiding his shame and guilt. "You know, you _really_ need to be careful with your leering."

"I… didn't. I was just… seeing what jeans he was wearing." He said with a fake, humorless chuckle.

"Like that's any less gay. And second of all, I know about you and Kurt."

Dread filled Karofsky as he thought back. How Kurt's lips felt against his, and his porcelain skin under his fingers. Also, how he had stiffened as he stole the kiss. He had felt so disgusted after that, he hadn't been able to look his parents in the eye when he got home, instead going over to Azimio's house.

"Remember last week before the benefit? About you being worried about 'the truth' getting out? Well guess what; it's out." She threw her hands above her shoulders and sat back in her seat.

"Whatever they told you is a lie to mess with me." His voice was firm, as if he was trying to convince himself that it was a ploy by Kurt and his agenda. "I'm gonna kick their asses."

Santana stopped him as his palms pressed to the table and went to leave.

"Okay, you know what; why don't you just settle down, and let Auntie Tana here tell you a little story." Her hands took his between them and she patted them, patronizing but in an attempt to comfort him. "It's about you." The hand dropped back to the table as she raised both of hers to point at him before clasping them in front of her. "You're what we call a 'late in life' gay. You're going to stay in the closet, get married, get drawn to having relations with your wife, have a couple of kids then maybe become- a state senator or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page. And you know what? I accept that about you."

"Why are you doing this?" Dave's voice wavered. His face slack and eyes just slightly wider with fear. All of that false bravado was gone.

"Because I need you. And you need me." She stated mater-of-factly. "…We play on the same team."

Karofsky thought he had misheard at first. Surely she was bullshitting him. Rage bubbled up inside him as he glared across small table. He had fucked her not even a year ago, right before he met that guy at the Gap with the big hair.

"You, _you_ infected me." Santana furrowed her brow in bewilderment; she had predicted him to break down and listen to her plans for next year's prom since Quinn had won this one's. She had expected him to ask her to keep his secret and agree to be each other's beards. "You fucking _fag. _It was you and Hummel, wasn't it? You both worked together to make me do this."

"Do what?"

"I'm gonna make him pay for this, and you." His lip curled into a vicious sneer and his hands clenched into tight fists at his side. "I'm gonna make you all pay for it."

"Whoa now, I'm just like you. Don't go attacking _me_."

"I'm not like you, I'm _nothing_ like you." He spat venomously.

She should have seen the look in his eyes. Should have noticed his body language or even the extra malice in his voice. She should have stopped him from leaving; made him talk to her. But she didn't.

And two hours later she was evacuated from the school because there was a boy with a gun.

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><p>They were speechless. Santana had finished her story and was gulping down the remnants of Quinn's bottle of water and the two girls on the couch couldn't move from processing what they'd heard. After a short while, and a very still silence, Quinn stood up and walked to the door in one fluid motion. Rachel called after her, but she didn't turn around or answer. She turned back to Santana and offered a sad smile.<p>

"Just let her think for a bit." Santana nodded, knowing that after being friends for so long, and wrung her hands.

"I know it's a lot to ask Rachel, but please tell me that you don't hate me. Please."

Rachel stood from the sofa and walked around the coffee table, crossing the room. She held her hand out for hers, and pulled her to her feet. Then, as awkward as it was, she wrapped the arm free from her brace around her waist and buried her nose in the crook of her neck.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is, it's all-"

"Shut up, Santana. It's not. There was something ugly inside of that boy, and if it weren't me, it would've been someone else." Like Kurt. Rachel felt guilt swim through her as she thought about what it would be like if Karofsky had met his intended target. No nightmares, no panic attacks, no pain, no tears, no brace, no 6 months until full recovery and no 4 months of rehab. She would have had to help Kurt with all of that, and it would have pulled Kurt and Blaine closer together rather than her and Quinn, but with the songs she had had planned to woo her, she doubted that were the situation different, that it would have taken much to make Quinn see her way. Maybe, and hopefully, she would have reacted better than Karofsky though. That shame covered her in and out and burned at her chest.

Rachel pulled away and handed her a tissue from her pocket. When the majority of the dripping mascara was removed, she pushed her to the couch.

"Call Brittany, we'll stay up and watch a movie. God knows when Quinn'll be back."

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><p>She walked up his driveway silently and then walked past his mother and sister without a sound, but they both seemed to understand to an extent why. After a soft knock, she opened his door and then went to his bed. He was sprawled in the middle, one arm rested behind his head and the other holding up a comic book. Removing her shoes and then crawling to the middle, she was half draped over his chest when she allowed herself to cry. His arms encircled tighter, and a calloused hand stroked through her hair. The comic book was thrown onto a pile by the battered chester drawers and his music turned up slightly to hide the noise from his ever prying mother.<p>

"It's alright, babe. It's gonna be alright."

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><p><strong>(An Send me along a review?**

**Thanks for reading darlin's)**


	20. Author's note

**So, unfortunately this isn't an update. I'm gonna take a breather from this for a week, possibly two, just to sit back and get some perspective. It's become a strain to even think about what to put in the next chapter and I don't want that to cloud my judgement and turn it all to shit. You guys deserve better than that. That and, because I'm spending hours thinking of what to write, I'm in week two of college and already behind.**

**I'm gonna take a break; might work on this Klaine thing that's been in my head for a while and do a Faberrittana prompt that TrustInFaith sent me. If anyone wants to send along a prompt, I'll certainly have a shot at writing it.**

**The Klaine fic is a World War Two thing, but I'm giving nothing away apart from that it's a completely different style than what I'm used to. The Faberrittana is another angsty kinda thing but with a pretty serious topic, again. But if you are gonna send me prompts, and please do (cleans out the cobwebs and all that), please don't think that I'll just write angst, some fluff never goes amiss.**

**Sorry guys, the moment it begins to just flow from my fingertips again, I'll write, but for the next couple of weeks; there'll probably be no TNK. Hopefully you'll stick with me until then.**

**-Maddy.**


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